How can I accept that girls don't want me?

[Eric Tarpall]

I know you probably think that I'm too negative. And if I keep developing myself there will eventually be a girl who will like me. I buy into that. But I've decided that I don't want to change my personality to get a girl. My personality is very anti social. And I like being that way.

I like shy girls but I'm not compatable with them because they want me to do the approaching. So the only way for me to get a girl is if she approaches me and flirts with me. And then I will feel comfortable reciprocating. But that's never going to happen. It might happen but hoping and waiting creates a lot of suffering. 

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

Edited December 28, 2018 by Eric Tarpall

[Bluebird]

You're resisting love, it hides behind the veil of fear (the approach).

The approach makes you vulnerable, exposes your heart and soul. You are not your personality, it's largely programming from parents and your environment.

Understand that the way you feel about not wanting to approach the shy girl, is how she feels about you. The loving thing to do is to go say hey.

You might get hurt, keep your heart open.

I promise you, love is found when you move through fear.

Quote

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

It doesn't sound like you're in a place to accept this, your "acceptance" in this case is going to be repression. Not the most healthy outcome.

To answer your question, to really accept it, you have to go out and get a girlfriend, find a partner, someone who loves and can be loved. This will at least start to bust your beliefs.

Only then can you really choose. Besides, ask why you think you have to accept that you won't have a girlfriend... There will be a deeper belief, I promise you that.

[iGhost]

You need a whole new perspective on girls and dating cuz you are stuck in the mud and spinning your wheels.

Let me help you with a few examples (YouTube):

• Alpha Male Strategies
• RSD Max
• Todd V

I am the real world example that their teachings work. I was like you, don't worry - you'll get there. Your frustration comes from lack of understanding. But hey, which day is it better than today to start to change it?

Edited December 28, 2018 by iGhost

[Spiral]

@Eric Tarpall Why not approach? takes two minutes.

[Emerald]

If you're not willing to step out of your comfort zone, then you definitely won't find a girl.

Plus, at your current state, you're so negative on yourself that no girl is going to want to be with you. It's a huge burden to be with a guy like that who is stuck in his ways, negative, has low self-esteem, and is unwilling to make efforts to improve himself and his life. Getting through life with a person like that is like trying to drag a sack of brick up the side of a mountain. And a man who isn't strong enough to offer support emotionally and otherwise is just an unattractive man. A man who is weak just intuitively strikes a note of sexual disgust in women. In other words, it feels literally gross to be with a guy who is not developed in that way.

To give an analogy to what you seem to hope for, it's kind of like a plain woman who smells bad, doesn't try to look nice, and doesn't shave expecting that guys will just be attracted to her based on no other reason than her existing. And then her getting upset that "No guys find my hairiness, B.O., and halitosis attractive." Meanwhile, she could just make the effort to clean herself up a bit and try to look nice and she'd get more men who are attracted to her.

For guys, it has to do more with personality than outward appearances in the initial attraction phase. So, it takes a bit more work. But what's positive about this is that this means you have a lot more leeway in terms of how attractive you can be to the opposite sex. A woman can only be so attractive outwardly as this is the nature of looks. But since women tend to like men based on a wide array of traits that are both character-driven and looks-driven, with the former outweighing the latter, there are a lot more factors that you can tinker with if you just put in the effort. 

Everyone is conditional with their attractions. And women's attraction is based quite a bit upon the level of grit and character that a man has. So, if you lack these things, it is lucky that these are 100% cultivatable traits. You can develop them. You just have to have the gumption to become the best version of yourself. This is the thing that you lack. You lack the grit and gumption to pull yourself out of the self-esteem hole that you're in. But it doesn't have to be that way.

[Lorcan]

11 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I know you probably think that I'm too negative. And if I keep developing myself there will eventually be a girl who will like me. I buy into that. But I've decided that I don't want to change my personality to get a girl. My personality is very anti social. And I like being that way.

I like shy girls but I'm not compatable with them because they want me to do the approaching. So the only way for me to get a girl is if she approaches me and flirts with me. And then I will feel comfortable reciprocating. But that's never going to happen. It might happen but hoping and waiting creates a lot of suffering. 

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

 

I want you to get into contact with TJ Reeves on Instagram. He perhaps can provide you with some help.

https://www.instagram.com/tjreevesmindbodybuilder/?hl=en

 Take this assessment (he made it with his team)

http://thetest.thecodetest.com/takers/register

Once you have done it, message him and tell him you have taken the test and would like to do a C.O.D.E briefing session with him.

He will schedule a time for you to have the session via some video call service. If you don't have a webcam use your phone.

With the the help of the assessment you took he will be able to help you get your shit together and start living the good life.

If you watch Leo's weekly uploads, you should watch his channels uploads too.

I WANT you to do this. THIS WILL CHANGE YOU.

No. I don't have a girlfriend. I have not tried hard enough. I have not push outside of comfort zone enough.

Do not wait for something to happen. It's up to you. 

 

You need to stop being the biggest bully to yourself.

"I'm never going to have a girlfriend?" 

Lies. I believe in you. I don't know much. Message me and I'll do the best I can to help you out. The main thing is to get in contact with TJ and have a code briefing session. It will change your life if you are willing

 

 

 

 

 

[Matt8800]

On 12/28/2018 at 3:45 AM, Eric Tarpall said:

I know you probably think that I'm too negative. And if I keep developing myself there will eventually be a girl who will like me. I buy into that. But I've decided that I don't want to change my personality to get a girl. My personality is very anti social. And I like being that way.

I like shy girls but I'm not compatable with them because they want me to do the approaching. So the only way for me to get a girl is if she approaches me and flirts with me. And then I will feel comfortable reciprocating. But that's never going to happen. It might happen but hoping and waiting creates a lot of suffering. 

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

The anti social thing is going to be a problem in finding a quality women. Shy and introverted is fine but aversion towards others is not something most women are interested in. Besides, evolution involves learning how to love others where they are. If there is no change, the results you are getting will not change either.

Learn to accept and love yourself and others. Learn to be complete by yourself. When that happens, you will have no problem finding a girl.

Edited December 29, 2018 by Matt8800

[Eric Tarpall]

17 hours ago, Bluebird said:

To answer your question, to really accept it, you have to go out and get a girlfriend, find a partner, someone who loves and can be loved. This will at least start to bust your beliefs.

I think it's possible to learn how to be happy without a girlfriend while simultaniously looking for one. But I'm not sure how to do that.

16 hours ago, Emerald said:

To give an analogy to what you seem to hope for, it's kind of like a plain woman who smells bad, doesn't try to look nice, and doesn't shave expecting that guys will just be attracted to her based on no other reason than her existing.

Well I don't smell bad and I shave so I expect girls to do this too. This takes very little effort. Much less effort than killing your personality and replacing it with a different one. I have some attractive traits like iron perseverance and narcissism but I lack charisma & socialness.

16 hours ago, Lorcan said:

 Take this assessment (he made it with his team)

I'll check that stuff out. And you know what they say. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

 

[Eric Tarpall]

9 minutes ago, Matt8800 said:

Learn to be complete by yourself. When that happens, you will have no problem finding a girl.

Yeah I notice when I'm indoors for a long time I start to forget that girls exist and I feel happy without them. But as soon as I step out of the house and I see a cute girl I feel incomplete. And I feel like I need her.

[Salvijus]

If you're comfortable within your own skin, people will like to be in your presence. 

Edited December 29, 2018 by Salvijus

[bejapuskas]

@Eric Tarpall You actually triggered a thought in me... 

On 28. 12. 2018 at 0:45 PM, Eric Tarpall said:

I know you probably think that I'm too negative. And if I keep developing myself there will eventually be a girl who will like me. I buy into that. But I've decided that I don't want to change my personality to get a girl. My personality is very anti social. And I like being that way.

I like shy girls but I'm not compatable with them because they want me to do the approaching. So the only way for me to get a girl is if she approaches me and flirts with me. And then I will feel comfortable reciprocating. But that's never going to happen. It might happen but hoping and waiting creates a lot of suffering. 

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

Stop identifying yourself with the future. Can you do anything in the future? No, you can't, there is only now.

By thinking, that somewhere in the future will appear a sudden shift, that makes you a chick magnet... man that's not gonna happen.

Do the best that you can now, there is no other time to practice than now  

[Shin]

See how this is illogical ?

How can one moment you feel good, and one another you feel bad, just because you see or hear something ?

[now is forever]

On 28.12.2018 at 0:45 PM, Eric Tarpall said:

I know you probably think that I'm too negative. And if I keep developing myself there will eventually be a girl who will like me. I buy into that. But I've decided that I don't want to change my personality to get a girl. My personality is very anti social. And I like being that way.

I like shy girls but I'm not compatable with them because they want me to do the approaching. So the only way for me to get a girl is if she approaches me and flirts with me. And then I will feel comfortable reciprocating. But that's never going to happen. It might happen but hoping and waiting creates a lot of suffering. 

So my question is how do I accept that I'm never going to have a girlfriend?

eric what exactly is it about the law of unattraction you like so much? maybe you should not change yourself for the girls but for yourself. 

this whole thought is such a dead end how did you ever get there.

you can approach girls and still maintain a mysterious aura if you want to, you don’t even have to talk to her directly for that. but antisocial is just not it - it won’t work out. just imagine when you finally have a girlfriend and then you don’t talk to her... how should that work out? you’d probably not just break her heart but yours as well. 

Edited December 30, 2018 by now is forever

[ivory]

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