Only feel like my higher self when high: advice wanted

[VictorB02]

Lately I have realized while high that cannabis deeply connects me to my higher self. It is like my cold edge of being sober is gone and I am more warm, open, loving, and my authentic self. I am able to have great conversations with almost anyone. I feel happier. I feel alive. I cannot ignore this. It opens my eyes to how mechanical I am throughout my day. I need to wake up from this mechanical living I am doing, but how do I wake up sober and full of life when all of this is happening only when I'm high?

Now this has been troubling me for a while now because before, I thought I needed to distance myself from cannabis as I believed it made me less aware. Now, I'm not so sure. I know it won't help to smoke everyday constantly but I can't help but think of amazing, loving, influential people like Terence McKenna and Bob Marley who smoked cannabis all day every day. Is that why they did it? Because it connected them with their higher self? It made them stay in touch with the big picture? 

What does this mean for my relationship to cannabis? How can I connect to this higher self while sober?

Of course I know that relying on a substance to make me feel myself is a dangerous path to go on, but I'll be damned if it didn't just slap me in the face with positivity  and make me look at my life from a completely different positive view. 

Is there anything different I can/could be doing to be my higher self while sober? I can think about what my authentic self is, and what it felt like high, but that's all it is: a thought. 

 

 

My main goal is to get to this authentic state 24/7, 365, without cannabis. To be my authentic self in every situation and moment.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[karkaore]

@VictorB02 You know better than anyone else. For me weed was always a way of pushing my insecurities or any bad emotional/mental states away. Made me psychologically addicted af. I would suggest journaling and pin-pointing reasons as to why you feel like smoking, how your mood changes when high and how you feel afterwards. This way it's gonna be much clearer if it's a good influence on you. Keep in mind, weed is very good way of forming a habit. For me it was absolutely negative impact in the long run. Then again, you know yourself best.

[Rilles]

Your mind is deluding you into thinking there are lower and higher selves, pure ego talking. You are always perfect, at your so called lowest and highest. Go sit in silence and just be. Sober.

Edited December 28, 2018 by Rilles

[How to be wise]

@VictorB02 The reason why cannabis connects you to your higher self, is that when you’re in it, you hit the space between thoughts. You’re not consumed by your thoughts (as you usually are). But cannabis is only temporary.

So the question is, how can I detach myself from my thoughts (connect to higher self) in a more permanent way. And those ways do exist. Are you willing to put in the effort.

[theking00]

3 hours ago, Rilles said:

Your mind is deluding you into thinking there are lower and higher selves, pure ego talking. You are always perfect, at your so called lowest and highest. Go sit in silence and just be. Sober.

yeah I agree with you there is no higher self or lower self.

[Esoteric]

I am struggling with cannabis addiction myself (currently off it). And yeah weed is real tricky.. For me it makes me connected as well. And actually lately the results from monthly daily use has made the results stick when I am sober as well. So it gets me a rest from my neurotisism plus it makes me more connected. So yeah thats the tricky part.. In the end Id rather be without it. It has cost me alot so I will probably seek professional help soon. Because it always sneaks back into my life and its starting to get tiresome, this cycle.

I had a friend who was addicted to amphetamines. He was in NA meetings for years. He said at least 90% were there for cannabis addiction. This whole weed culture is really a big denial. "Cant get addicted maaan". So yeah. I hope you can recognize how the ego might be tricking you (dont really know your situation fully, maybe its a great tool that you can use responsibly)

Peace

[VictorB02]

@karkaore thank you

@Rilles thank you, I agree as this is probably what is going on

@How to be wise thank you, and yes I have been. meditating 45 minutes everyday for the past 8 months. I will look into more ways to align with myself while sober

@Esoteric Thank you, I have been addicted to weed before and I am very aware that this could be the trick being played, making me feel "better" 

It just seems so crazy how quickly it helps me to look at my life differently, but I guess once you get the call, to hang up. And I got the call last night when I realized all of this and made this post.

[Rilles]

Be carefully with this, can be the start of a serious addiction when you feel like you are something ”else” when you get high.

[FredFred]

@VictorB02 I feel you, I'm exactly where you are. None of the people I met who smoked cannabis said it had the same effect on them as the effect it has on me. Cannabis just seems to ship me into that space where empathy and connectedness is disproportionately elevated compared to my my sober everyday self. Actually the substance is what got me into self-development and spirituality.

That being said, addiction came fast and hit me hard. My meditation habit was well established then so I got to be mindful of the situation and stopping asn't been quite a struggle. I find that I get the most results from cannabis when using the substance only about 1 time every 1-2 weeks. It keeps me aligned with my goals and gives me a slap in the face when I'm going off-track.

I don't think I should be supposed to feel high all the time. I think experiencing such states can give me the motivation to take action towards being a better person in everyday life.

I still find it hard to find my words when talking about this kind of stuff though, bear with me 

[VictorB02]

@Rilles you’re right. I have been there before and it is not fun

@FredFred I’m with you, and I couldn’t agree more. Mary Jane is very delicate, I agree that if you use it once every 1-2 weeks it will keep you open and motivated, any more is most likely going to be addiction

[Cortex]

Because in fact you are better while high, sober self is not so great 

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, VictorB02 said:

My main goal is to get to this authentic state 24/7, 365, without cannabis. To be my authentic self in every situation and moment.

That's what spiritual practice is for.

Your goal is consciousness & awakening.

[VictorB02]

@Cortex I find a deep truth with this

@Leo Gura thank you

[Arkandeus]

If you feel, you remember it, you are connected with it

Once you've tasted this piece of candy you can make your own candy, or rather you can make it that you taste the candy permanently without eating it

But if you keep eating the candy you will not learn how to produce that taste, you have to stop eating the candy

[VictorB02]

@Arkandeus I get what you are saying. 

[WelcometoReality]

@VictorB02 I used cannabis for a couple of years and felt great while on it. The problem was that I was fleeing from/pushing away some "bad" feelings and was gravitating towards/grasping the "good" feelings I got while being high. 

The key was to start dealing with those "bad" feelings. Seeing that the movement from "bad" to "good" was actually not giving me any long lasting happiness. 

[VictorB02]

@WelcometoReality yeah I think what you’re talking about is the main reason why weed is so addictive. That is definitely what it feels like, an instant change in personality and feeling good, you skip over all the hard parts of doing it soberly.

[dmwrss]

@VictorB02 I have SUCH a similar experience on cannabis. I haven’t worked up to proper psychedelics yet. However, cannabis gives me profound insights.

It helps open my 3rd eye/vivid visual hallucinations. Indescribably beautiful cartoon-like animations. Geometric patterns. 

It’s given me profound, life-changing intellectual and life-purpose insights. And it’s inching me towards embodied non-dual insights at a rate my ego can handle. Adds a unique dimension to self-inquiry.

I consider it a catalyst/teacher. Because I’ve been on the path for a while and I’m pursuing consciousness work, it aids with that. Whereas when I was younger and at lower consciousness, it didn’t have this effect at all.

At some point I’m going to write a proper post about these experiences. But wanted to chime in here. I agree that the ultimate goal should be sober awaking. Cannabis, IMO, can be a legitimate catalyst.

[VictorB02]

@dmwrss thank you for your post!  Makes me think that the user determines the outcome of the high more than cannabis itself.