Using visualization for approaching and talking to women?

[DMM710]

The most I can do in my mind is approach a woman, see her being happy and stuff but that's it. I can't come up with any convincing dialog or anything. Any tips?

[fewrocker]

The block comes with trying to come up with the most "convincing" or "coolest" dialog. That won't happen. Even she doesn't want you to come with a smart-ass line, she just wants to feel you're a cool guy she can be comfortable with

 

A lot of RSD videos can help with that. It is key to get the mindset of "It is not what you say, but how you say it". That's why these guys can do silent approaches and pick up girls without even talking

 

Approaching with confidence, keeping deep eye contact, giving a firm handshake and holding the shake for a little longer than usual already counts as more than many words. On top of that, just do the simple things. Introduce yourself. Make a simple comment about the environment / her clothes / her friends / something that just happened / ask for an opinion on something, etc. Be present and really listen to her answers, because her answer will give you at least 3 topics/directions you can go if you listen carefully. Presence helps a lot on this part

 

Some other hints:

- Do some warm-up, talking to people on the street, on the line of the club, or just call a friend on your way to the club and talk

- The first approaches are useful to get you into a better flow state. In that state, you will be smoother. But it is key to understand the first approaches might not come out good, but you need to go through them

- Your ego is the one that comes with that fear and the block because if it makes you not approach, it will never get rejected. Comfort zone. Weakening the ego is important for talking to girls. Just realize the only way you will become better is with more approaches, so the initial "newbie" phase is necessary and it will only pass with more approaches

- Understanding that it is a numbers game and you will become very good after your 5000 rookie mistakes helps a lot with the approaching, because now you will approach and build up energy with each one, since each approach gets you closer to your goal (just like Schwarzenegger talks about each rep on his sets and why he worked out smiling)

- Stick this phrase in your head: "If you said hi, you already won". Just say hi and see where it goes. If it goes good or bad, have some compassion for yourself, know that you are a tiny bit better, and go again!

- Start simple and work your way up as you build calibration. Leave the complex genius lines when you are a master, because if you try to use bad-ass lines without calibration you will just sound weird. Respect your stage of development

- Introduce some playfulness and just have fun dude. Self-amusement helps a lot with coming up with things to say, because you won't be looking for the perfect line to please her, but for the line that will please you, and it is easier to know that. No, that's not selfish. That will help you show your personality, show that you are comfortable with yourself and if you're not a jerk they will enjoy it too

 

As for the visualization, just imagine a cool, comfortable interaction. You being a cool guy, she is enjoying it and smiling. You're getting to know her and she is getting to know you. Nothing out of this world, just a comfortable interaction

Edited December 27, 2018 by fewrocker
Completing

[Hellspeed]

4 hours ago, DMM710 said:

The most I can do in my mind is approach a woman, see her being happy and stuff but that's it. I can't come up with any convincing dialog or anything. Any tips?

Go in a train station or a city center full of people and start projecting yout Heart using visualization, in all the women passing around. This will build in you at a sunboncious level a connection with your left side of the body, so project the left side. In some hours or days you will notice by instict that you will want to aproach women in a natural way, without thinking about it. 

[kev014]

This will definitely help if you go out and actually talk to girls/people, otherwise it can just become another excuse for not going out. I'd definitely practice visualization if I were you. I'd focus your visualization more on yourself then anyone else or any type of interaction. Visualize yourself exactly as you'd prefer to be. How do you feel? Are you confident and expressive? If so where do you feel this in your body? What is your posture? How does your voice sound? Are you happy, proud and fulfilled with the life you are living? Talking to girls becomes infinitely easier when all the other avenues of your life are full and abundant. 

Another potential strategy is to get a job that promotes socialization (sales, waiter/server, recruiter, etc.) I did this and it deepened my social understanding and comfortability rapidly, would highly recommend. 

[LastThursday]

Don't forget that women are human beings too, just like yourself; even the beautiful ones. Rejection often hurts the rejector as well the rejectee. Have compassion if you're rejected. Some prep is good, but nothing beats just doing it. You can think about skydiving all you like, but actually doing it doesn't even compare.