To grow you must suffer

[DoubleYou]

46 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@SaltyMeatballs I had planted this belief that I HAD to suffer to grow. I was unconsciously inviting suffering into my life everyday from this belief. 

I was unnecessary suffering. 

I am seeing a humanistic therapist who made me realise what I was doing was actually silly. She said. "Suffering will come Charlotte dont worry about that."

That sounds a lot like me right now. Im all about not running away from suffering, but sometimes it feels like im actively looking for it just so that I can overcome it. I thought this was a good habit, but now im not sure.

How did you challenge this belief? And did it help?

[Charlotte]

@DoubleYou  I didn't actually challenge it. Once I became aware of it I dropped it immediately. I was unconsciously doing it. Realising I was doing it was a lightbulb moment. Smack in the face so to speak. 

Massively helped.  

[CreamCat]

@Joseph Maynor Or, traumas could shove you deeper into egoic trenches. Some world war veterans became useless for years because of PTSD. Different people process traumas differently.

That's why growth is one's responsibility. Pain by itself can't make you grow.

Edited December 27, 2018 by CreamCat

[fewrocker]

This is again paradoxical.

 

Suffering coming from growth pains and ego backlashes are a natural sign of development. Suffering coming from facing the obstacles, getting out of the comfort zone and going against your mind's will to stay as it is are also signs of development.

 

However, you must be very careful with your interpretation. You're not pursuing suffering. You are not looking for suffering in order to get a sense of development. If you happen to get identified with the suffering, to become that "poor person that suffers", you are fucked. Your ego will feed of that shit like crazy. The ego doesn't want to be the coolest person on the Earth.  It wants identity, and suffering can become an identity so you will have a huge ego that craves suffering that you won't be able to escape. Many people are addicted to suffering as a form of creating their identity. Be very careful of that because that is not spiritual, that is not zen, that is not beautiful. 

 

 

"To grow you must suffer" is a powerful phrase if you know where it is coming from. But listen to it without presence and wisdom and you can get fucked.

 

I guess if you put it like "To grow you must suffer, feel the suffering, assess what is going wrong and act to change it, time and time again, dozens of times, hundreds of times, and you will see you've become great".  If you're not learning from the suffering, that means, changing your behavior based on it, you haven't learned anything

[CreamCat]

1 hour ago, Joseph Maynor said:

it was just easy for him to not get caught up in stupid sh*t.

What kind of stupid shit?