To grow you must suffer

[BjarkeT]

I think to many try to escape suffering and not realizing they have to suffer if they want to grow. 

(how ever some suffering may be unnecessary) 

Edited December 26, 2018 by BjarkeT

[Shadowraix]

8 minutes ago, BjarkeT said:

I think to many try to escape suffering and not realizing they have to suffer if they want to grow. 

And its good to point out that escaping suffering through enlightenment isn't actually preventing things from occurring to you that you won't like. You just learn to embrace and accept that hardship instead of running away from it. It no longer is perceived as suffering.

[Hellspeed]

Oh yes, no pain no gain.

People usually don't realize that the state of bliss is usually apparent pain  that has to be conquered.

[brugluiz]

Insteresting! Why the fuck there are so many woo woo people telling the opposite? It's very common hearing things like "you don't have to suffer in your job" or "the universe will handle everything so you don't have to suffer". I personally heard it many times from woo woo people and I still can't get it. Are these people bullshiting me? Or I'm not as evolved as these people so LOA doensn't work properly with me?

I never forget once I worked with a woo woo person who said me to relax and wait for the universe response. Nothing happened. Our work was a failure by the way.

[NoSelfSelf]

@brugluiz Suffering and pain /discomfort are 2 different things

[brugluiz]

2 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@brugluiz Suffering and pain /discomfort are 2 different things

Interesting! There's a guy called Mario Sergio Cortella who talks about the difference between stress and tiredness. When you get stressed, you don't love what you do. When you get tired, you love what you do.

Anyway, I still think some woo woo people think things will happen by doing nothing.

[NoSelfSelf]

@brugluiz Many things could happen by doing nothing and many by doing something it should be a balance not only doing and not only doing nothing

[brugluiz]

5 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@brugluiz Many things could happen by doing nothing and many by doing something it should be a balance not only doing and not only doing nothing

Thank you for your insight, @NoSelfSelf!

[Hellspeed]

1 hour ago, brugluiz said:

Insteresting! Why the fuck there are so many woo woo people telling the opposite? It's very common hearing things like "you don't have to suffer in your job" or "the universe will handle everything so you don't have to suffer". I personally heard it many times from woo woo people and I still can't get it. Are these people bullshiting me? Or I'm not as evolved as these people so LOA doensn't work properly with me?

I never forget once I worked with a woo woo person who said me to relax and wait for the universe response. Nothing happened. Our work was a failure by the way.

Is reaching a level in life in which change and apparent suffering or pain transtales in extasy  so in the end there is no suffering after having experienced what suffering is. Is more bravery to enter the discomfort, but after is marvelous. 

[Chase Ellfeldt]

"No pain no gain" is one of the truest sayings out there. It's robbed of its true potential by being applied solely to the fitness industry but it applies everywhere.

Especially focus. We live in a constant state of entertainment. It actually pains people to focus more then 5 seconds but if you can master focus you will have mastered the most important tool in the world.

[Eric Tarpall]

You don't have to suffer. Embrace slow progress and move slowly towards your goals. Always be relaxed and slow no matter what you're doing.  You can take short sprints sometimes. But if you're always racing you will get attention deficit, anxiety & low energy.

[CreamCat]

4 hours ago, Chase Ellfeldt said:

"No pain no gain" is one of the truest sayings out there. It's robbed of its true potential by being applied solely to the fitness industry but it applies everywhere.

Especially focus. We live in a constant state of entertainment. It actually pains people to focus more then 5 seconds but if you can master focus you will have mastered the most important tool in the world.

No Pain. No Pleasure.

No Pleasure. No Pain.

Pain and pleasure come together. If you have neither, you have even-keeled experiences.

For example, if you want social approval, you feel pleasure when you get it and feel pain when you don't. If you don't want social approval, it can't make you feel pleasure or pain. Or, take game points for example. If you don't want game points, they can't make you feel pain or pleasure.

Edited December 27, 2018 by CreamCat

[Charlotte]

Yeah but don't do what I did and fall into the trap of inviting suffering in your life. I was doing this unconsciously and creating unnecessary suffering because I believed this was the only and true way of growing ?

[SaltyMeatballs]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

Yeah but don't do what I did and fall into the trap of inviting suffering in your life. I was doing this unconsciously and creating unnecessary suffering because I believed this was the only and true way of growing ?

@Charlotte

Can u please elaborate? How were u exactly inviting suffering and what did u do to change (how u realized that it no longer served u)..? 

 

[Charlotte]

@SaltyMeatballs I had planted this belief that I HAD to suffer to grow. I was unconsciously inviting suffering into my life everyday from this belief. 

I was unnecessary suffering. 

I am seeing a humanistic therapist who made me realise what I was doing was actually silly. She said. "Suffering will come Charlotte dont worry about that."

[Joseph Maynor]

There's some truth to this.  I don't really know anything about David Goggins, but I know he's a personal development teacher on some level.  Yeah, I agree that adversity is what forces you to grow.  The adversity of dealing with the death of a parent for example builds huge compassion, character, and gratitude (not gratitude for their death but gratitude for your life).  Just going through that process changes you.  It's hard to stay the same after you go through something like that.  Take your dad for example.  Someday you'll watch your dad get sick and die and maybe even be his caregiver in his final months of life.  This process is so against your Ego that you're gonna get a crack, you'll break, and that's where you'll get growth.  You'll see life differently.  The way to stay a child in life is to remain sheltered against growth-causing adversity.  My dad came back from the Vietnam War (and he was wounded in the war) and did very well in his career in civilian life after the war because he knew what hell was like in his early 20's, and when he came back to the States, he didn't take anything for granted.  So, there is something to this idea that adversity builds character, it's what makes you an adult, it's what makes you not sweat the small stuff that people get caught up in.  This is my whole point about the example of walking into a nursing home.  I've been going to a nursing home everyday now for a month, and let me tell you, it's changed my life.  When you see some elderly woman who can't even barely move just laying there like a lump of flesh on her bed clutching a doll probably given to her for comfort and you measure your life up against her life, you're gonna find out really fast what it means to be ungrateful.  It's gonna be real to you.  You'll look at your life differently.  I've met some of the old people in this nursing home and they are just regular people kinda waiting to die.  That's you and that's me in that nursing home, see -- maybe not today, but none of us get out of this life alive.  Yet we have so many petty complaints with our lives.  We don't even know what true complaints are.  And this might come across as kinda arrogant the way I say it, but it is striking.  This is why people don't like to go to nursing homes.  The Ego wants to stay alive and the worst thing that could ever happen to your Ego is to face your own death or the death of somebody you love like a parent.  That goes against every fiber of the way that your Ego wants the world to run.  And the thing is that the world is not gonna change for your Ego, your Ego will be forced to absorb this kind of existential blow.  And that's what causes growth.  That's what forces you to change.  You're forced to change due to the trauma that you're living through.  

Edited December 27, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[purerogue]

1 minute ago, Charlotte said:

@SaltyMeatballs I had planted this belief that I HAD to suffer to grow. I was unconsciously inviting suffering into my life everyday from this belief. 

I was unnecessary suffering. 

I am seeing a humanistic therapist who made me realise what I was doing was actually silly. She said. "Suffering will come Charlotte dont worry about that."

It will, do not worry, if not in life then in dreams and in dreams you can have suffering that has no escape and seems to last forever, without slightest light of hope at least in life you can kick it in face.  

 

 

[Charlotte]

@purerogue ❤️

[Elysian]

Most spiritual growth comes from undoing what isn't you. And most of that undoing isn't pleasant or peaceful moments on the cushion. It hurts, sometimes down to your very core, because picking at old wounds never feels good. The ego also doesn't play nice when you start unraveling it either.

Edited December 27, 2018 by Elysian
Grammar

[purerogue]

At least you have choice to do it, we have all tools needed to not suffer, it is all up to you , even if you do not see it, it is best lesson I learned from my dreams where suffering is not an option to chose.