For a guy having sex and self-actualizing are total opposites

[Nick5050]

@MM1988

I feel what you are saying. I have been thinking the same for a long time. This is pure orange stage. The believe you have that you need to manipulate or act different to get something. Once you have been long enough in this stage you will realize that you get a lot more succes by just acting out of your own feelings and heart. Entering stage green will help you a lot but for that you need to see how egoistical you really are and stop caring so much about yourself. Start to care more about other people and this love will reflect back to you.

[ZeN]

@MM1988 Thats so true! My “favorite” story is I met this girl at a college party, we had a good time, danced together and seemed to hit it off really well - I had to leave the party a bit early though and the next week when I tried to contact her again , I learned that one of my best friends (then and now also), my coursemate, found the love of his life at the same party! The same girl of course. Now they live together and plan on marrying soon

And this year I connected with what was a seemingly perfect match for me - 6’3” woman who was into spirituality, art and all that good stuff. We met a few times, talked, shared deep personal stories, hugged and she said she wanted to meet again in the future... But to my dismay and surprise, she started avoiding me and finally a few months later rejected me politely. Again I have seen her randomly in the city a few times kissing passinately with a partner - every time it triggers pain inside me - which I use in my spiritual practice... 

I use this pain to go deeper into self actualization and improve thing which are under my control to improve. I cannot determine and control whether two sided romantic love comes into my life (consciously anyway) so I concentrate on what can be done on my part. 

P.S. I also have had cancer which was a wake-up call to spirituality. So self-actualization aka god is my priority number one

[bejapuskas]

@MM1988 Go read some Osho, he can give you a different kind of perspective on sexuality, if you know what I mean  I am reading his Book about the ego and he talks there about this specific problem with relationships and intimacy... 

Edited December 25, 2018 by bejapuskas

[Shadowraix]

5 hours ago, MM1988 said:

I still hold the believe that a women would make me happier. How could I not? Everyone is having sex, everyone is talking about relationships and its such a big part of everyones life. And its so normal and easy for everyone else, and Im here completely left out despite trying hard for years. And on top of that are the biological cravings and im at an age where I should think about children and not having my first experiences. How could I ever truly just believe its not worth pursuing?

This seems to be really related to herd mentality.

[Hellspeed]

Not true at all. 

If you manage to awake to a certain extent, master in-jack and tantra, is just marvelous