Overeating Is Draining Me

[renegade_bee]

Anyone here that has overcome chronic overeating? I've been struggling with this for all my life (18 years) and it's absolutely draining me. I could use some advice from people who have faced this as well.

[charlie2dogs]

If you have been struggling with this for 18 years, it says that you have absolutely no will power to control your life.  If you have no will power how will anyone help you with this.  Sure you can try all the potions, pills and meditations and see if that works or you can look inside of yourself and try to find some self worth and realize that you need to exercise your own will power to begin to create a diet that is healthy for you and stick with it and most likely begin a program of exercise to go with the diet, Without will power nothing is going to change. 

 

[cly]

I highly recommend using the Allen Carr Easy-way method to help with your overeating. I am sure there is a book in the Allen Carr easy-way book collection that addresses this issue specifically. 

[nbolt]

I think only people who have an understanding of what @DrMatthewsausage is going through should really comment, so we avoid comments like charlie's. Obviously from an objective standpoint there's not much to "do" here (just make a daily meal plan with however many calories you should ideally be consuming and follow it) but this is a deeper psychological issue and more akin to a mental illness, which should not be made light of. Telling someone to "just do it" is really not much help.

[JeffR1]

I agree with Neill, a 'just do it' attitude just isn't helpful. From my experience and learning, there is almost always an underlying emotional or psychological cause to over-eating. The 'experts' suggest over-eating is about trying to fill a void within - most likely a void of lack of love, approval of others and self-approval. I highly recommend Dr Phil McGraw's book 'The Ultimate Weight Solution'. Basically, Dr Phil says over-eating (or any other addiction for that matter) is a physical way of 'curing' a psychological problem. Go deep and seek for the answers within. Only then will you succeed on your journey. Best wishes.

[Kelley White]

On 4/12/2016 at 10:58 AM, DrMatthewsausage said:

Anyone here that has overcome chronic overeating? I've been struggling with this for all my life (18 years) and it's absolutely draining me. I could use some advice from people who have faced this as well.

Hi!  @DrMatthewsausage, thank you for sharing and having the courage to tackle this issue.

I have dealt with both anorexia and at one point during my life got up to 185 pounds eating for comfort.   I  have family members that really struggle with chronic overeating.   Each has their own emotional reasons for doing so.

I really agree with what many have said here already, will power is not always the sole issue.  I agree that therapy and or a nutritionist could be very helpful for you at this juncture.  

Can you identify or bring into your awareness what emotions you are experiencing when you tend to gravitate towards food to feel better?  What could you do to self soothe during those times that does not involve food? 

What sort of internal reward system can you set up, or even external reward system to help you create and meet small goals? 

I also agree with the questions posed about what types of foods are you gravitating towards?  Is it a healthy or an unhealthy craving thing?

Do  you feel the sensation of satiation?  (being full)  How does your body feel when  you eat beyond when you are satiated?  Is it really pleasant?  How do you feel after you have over eaten?

I really like Dialectic Behavioral Therapy for issues like this because it gives you clear concrete tools in the moment you experience the desire to engage in whatever the addictive conduct is...in this case eating.   If you have an oops, remember its not the end of the world unless you camp out there.  Very rarely is lasting change a linear process.

I also loved Susan Powers if you can still find any of her older books.   She started out over 200 pounds and chronically overeating and she began her weight loss plan by walking down her sidewalk with one of her kids on her hip.   Eventually she made it down the block, a year later she was walking miles a day.   She changed what she ate and worried less about the quantity, increased her activity level, and as a result was healthier, converted fat to muscle, and eventually lost all the weight and with successive approximations made significant lasting lifestyle changes.

I personally found success by looking at food as fuel.   I make my own fruit smoothies, drink lots of water, don't buy the sugar or the processed foods, I do everything I can to set myself up for success and surround myself with people who will support those positive lifestyle changes.

You are here, you are asking for ideas, you recognize the problem.  That is a huge success right there.   Thank you for being here, thank you for being courageous enough to not quit on you.   I hope that some of the responses here can be an encouragement to you to keep going. 

Best wishes.

Kelley

[Philip]

@DrMatthewsausage I have overeating and junk food addictions too. Since forever. I've made some progress over the years, but I haven't quite found the best technique yet. I can still share some wisdom though.

First, start with what you have. Use the tools you already possess to face your problem. For example, I couldn't resist fast food restaurants. But I was able to resist buying junk food at the grocery store. So I focused on that. I managed to slowly replace butter with olive oil, milk with orange juice, pasta with rice, nutella with honey, white bread with brown bread, meat with nuts. It wasn't the huge change I was looking for, but it was a start.

Also, try to change your mindsets about food. I'm currently in the process of eliminating this limiting belief I've developed during my childhood: "What is healthy tastes bad. What is unhealthy tastes good." And I'm trying to replace it with a wiser sentence that resonates with me: "Every healthy meal brings the right molecules that will contribute to my well-being"

Next, try to stay mindful of this emotion of lack that you feel right before you go eating too much again. It certainly is there. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but that's easy to remember. But with practice, you might start to develop the willpower @charlie2dogs was talking about if you build awareness around that bad habit.

Now bear with me please: try to imagine yourself being lean and energetic right now. Imagine yourself as healthy as you could be. See yourself walking proudly, talking to others with confidence, waking up in seconds every morning, dressing sexy, smiling, whatever. Whatever feels enjoyable, inspiring or just feels right to you. As long as it somehow relates to eating clean. Imagine this for like 30 seconds right now. And do it again tomorrow if you want to.

And remember, every morning is a brand new opportunity to try again. It's better to try everyday and fail, than to never try.

[renegade_bee]

@Kelley White

Thank you for answering.

emotions I feel before eating: hopelessnes, lonliness, boredom, depression or just unawareness (that I eat out of habit).

It is definitely an unhealthy craving as I usually do not overeat when I manage to eat something healthy. I do however still feel the 'lack of fullnes'

I'll check dialectic therpay and her books out!

@Philip Thank you, that's great advice.

I believe I probably also have similar limiting beliefs around food that I got from childhood. As for the visualization: I have tried this every once in a while in the past but it didn't really seem to work. But if it does for you, that's great!

@piotr I'm going to try that walking exercise!

 

[Kelley White]

@DrMatthewsausage, Hi!  You are very welcome.   Thank you for pondering it and responding.  

@Philip, some great tools offered in your comments.  

16 hours ago, Philip said:

First, start with what you have. Use the tools you already possess to face your problem. For example, I couldn't resist fast food restaurants. But I was able to resist buying junk food at the grocery store. So I focused on that. I managed to slowly replace butter with olive oil, milk with orange juice, pasta with rice, nutella with honey, white bread with brown bread, meat with nuts. It wasn't the huge change I was looking for, but it was a start.

Also, try to change your mindsets about food. I'm currently in the process of eliminating this limiting belief I've developed during my childhood: "What is healthy tastes bad. What is unhealthy tastes good." And I'm trying to replace it with a wiser sentence that resonates with me: "Every healthy meal brings the right molecules that will contribute to my well-being"

Next, try to stay mindful of this emotion of lack that you feel right before you go eating too much again. It certainly is there. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but that's easy to remember. But with practice, you might start to develop the willpower @charlie2dogs was talking about if you build awareness around that bad habit.

Now bear with me please: try to imagine yourself being lean and energetic right now. Imagine yourself as healthy as you could be. See yourself walking proudly, talking to others with confidence, waking up in seconds every morning, dressing sexy, smiling, whatever. Whatever feels enjoyable, inspiring or just feels right to you. As long as it somehow relates to eating clean. Imagine this for like 30 seconds right now. And do it again tomorrow if you want to.

And remember, every morning is a brand new opportunity to try again. It's better to try everyday and fail, than to never try.

 

I also liked Leo's video on addiction; i personally used the tool of just sitting with the desire and not acting upon it, or substituting a healthier action for the self defeating or self harming action.   I have found it effective and powerful.  I also find having a shitability buddy is another great tool.  Someone who you can draw upon for a reality check when you think you might not be capable of just sitting with craving.  Sometimes just pausing for the reality check is enough to get you through the moment.

I wish you the best in working on this.