Witnessing my own death while listening to music

[Ferdi Le]

I just had a very strange and scary experience and kinda want to share it.

Couple hours ago, I watched a movie called Requiem for a Dream. I dont want to spoiler anything, but the movie put me in a strange mood of high awareness. I watched it in my room which was pretty dark. After the movie was over, I went to the bathroom which was very bright and looked in the mirrow. This already felt pretty intense. Kind of like when you are on LSD and change the room and you strongly experience the energy shift and the 3-d nature of the room becomes more clear and visible. I actually felt like on a small LSD dose.

However, this did not last very long because my sister came in. After that I just contemplated and read some stuff on the Internet about the movie. 

Right before going to sleep, I was just skimming the forum a little bit to distract myself. I then read @TheAvatarState post and this heavily elevated my already heightened state of awareness.

It ialso ínspired me to meditate.

I somehow had the intuition to meditate on the theme song of the movie I watched earlier. For these who dont know the song, it gets more and more intense and is just a master piece of art.

So I put on my noice cancelling headphones and started meditating on the music crossed legged on the ground. 

Immediately it was an extremely intense experience. But it got more and more intense as the music progressed. The song actually builds up and then kind of has a point of release.

So as the song got more and more intense, I experienced crazy emotions. First my body began to shake heavily and then I had an extremely strange thought.

Actually it was not a thought but more something I was seeing and could not stop unless I opened my eyes. Kinda like a movie in your mind which you a forced to see.

What was I seeing?

I was seeing myself dying and extremely distrubed family members running to me, completely devestated trying to talk to me and keep me alive. Me body reacted heavily to this and I almost screamed.

I did not last to the climax of the song because it got too intense and I was too scared. I instead opened my eyes and had this really intense awareness. It again felt like opening your eyes after looking at closed eye visuals on lsd.

 

I dont really know what to make out of this experience but just wanted to get it of my shoulders for some reason.

 

Good night and thanks for reading  

[TheAvatarState]

@Ferdi Le glad I could help! A lot of times an ego death experience manifests itself in you having visions of your own death; I have experienced this a few times on LSD. I obviously have no way of knowing that's what happened to you, but my strongest guess is that you were becoming so aware that your sense of self felt like it was dying. There is no difference between "physical death" and enlightenment. 

Don't let that scare you though! If anything, this just means you're on the right path... Keep up your meditation practice and self inquiry.  and next time you're in that situation, try to summon the courage to surrender. It just might be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

Edited December 24, 2018 by TheAvatarState