Dilema Of 21 Years Old Guy

[ranzo1]

Hello! I think this topic is importan for every young guy. I was watching videos of Leo , and that really inspires me,but other guys like elliot hulse, scooby... And i started to grow, fitness improve, mentally improve, started reading a books, start to positive think,started college,study hard and,improve talking to girls but at that area i still have work to do....and i just lose motivation,aloso because of Leos videos about enlightenment. He said that everything isnt important,this is the truth. You dont exist and just be happy. And now im really dont care. Fucked up grades, dont socialize, dont have motivation. And wonder myself, why everyone oppsesing with enlightenment now, meditation is really good,but why asking yourself who im i, who doing this stuff,kill ego... Is it ok to be better version of yourself, to work hard to have succes, enlightenment isnt the only way, some really happy people arent enlightened. Im not against that(i also dont know what it is exactly),and also need years to achive that,dont have sense to me, i jast dont want to do that, i have much stuff to do, and i was really happy. I must find life purpose, try different things, have amazing relationships, be successful ,when you are young, you have drive to live passionatlly. If everything is ilussion, why we want mission bigger then our life, why just people dont sit and enjoy?- because , we all need something to pursuit,to have meaning to our life. I was also motivated about doing things that im afraid,and work on my limiting bilifes. I think that every person have life stages,that when you are at this age you want to fight,you want challenges,and when you get older you just turn more to spiritual work to gain visdom. 

Now what is right, are our instincts tell us what is important or?  Shoud i pursuit enlightenment(but im just don't excited obout that and im kinda depressed ,and i dont have strong identity and because of that, i dont have motivation to do stuff that i like), or turn to other stuff and just dont distract about that. It is sad that people that dont know about personal development are way more happier than i... Im disipointed about actualized, leo talks about lot of stuff and i pursuit that and now that isn't worthy at all...im just confused,i need to be specific,to know what i want and what is good for me, and from that point i also can help others. Also is confusing that some stuff like sex, socializing ,like Leo said,are dont have much value,or i missunderstand that. How can i learn about sexuallity which is really important,if i dont try and do lot of different things about that.Is it nice to have life that you are proud of, to inspire and help others, then just sit and dont give a shit of anything.Meditation is really important but, that is just a one part of a big picture.  If you have some perspectives ,books, or something else,about what one 21 guy should do to be actualized  share it, it is sad to be deppressed about self development,it is designt to help.  Sorry for english :))

[ranzo1]

Or i have wrong opinion and enlightenment is the most important thing in my life,i just dont know, but i have lot of things that i have to be better or master it.

[Zephyr]

Where are you trying to get at? If nothing matters as you said then why should your happiness matter? Your desire was to be happy and now your desire is still to be happy. 

[ranzo1]

1 hour ago, Pinocchio said:

This is the problem with looking to others for telling you how to live your life, as most people do. You absolutely have to make up your own mind about what YOU want. Otherwise YOU will regret it.

Many spiritual teachers also start with that question, the very first question is always what do you want. And they add that answering this question is already a journey in itself. Many people never try to answer it for themselves until maybe someone puts them on the spot, and often not even then. It's not a decision you make over sunday morning breakfast.

Find out what YOU want. It's YOUR life, now what do you want to do with it. Nothing is the most important thing, unless it's important to YOU. You can't skip this part, and it may take a while and a lot of serious searching. But it's the only way. Don't let anyone else decide your life for you. You can't walk in someone else's shoes, and they can't walk in yours.

Thanks man, simple but it is true, you are right, i just forgot that, maybe is better question "what I really want" ?

[abrakamowse]

What's happening to you is normal. You are confused, that happens when you hear the truth. Your ego is confused, not your real "you" the "I AM".

Your ego doesn't want to leave, so that's his way of keeping you slave of your ego, of your identity. But, when you leave that ego behind, your real self will be in charge, and you won't need to ask for guidance. The ego makes you think it is something scary, that's why we are trapped in the whole identity thing, in the idea of separation from the source.

You will notice that when you begin to meditate you will begin to change, just continue meditating and change will come alone, no effort needed. Only the effort of sitting and meditating everyday no matter what. Your real self is much wiser than the fake self we think we are, our ego.

Hope this helps.

[ranzo1]

20 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

Where are you trying to get at? If nothing matters as you said then why should your happiness matter? Your desire was to be happy and now your desire is still to be happy. 

That is the problem, being is ok, but being with life purpose is greath, i like that there is something that is really important to me. To live for something, to do something, and createing a healthy ego, not killing it, and dont oppsesing with that stuff. Im what i am,and i want to accept me , im already fine but also try to be better and enjoy journey. Why dont chase your dreams,even if they are ilusions, this forum exist because leo was chasing his dream and now we have benefits to it. 

 

 

 

[abrakamowse]

You can have a "healthy" ego if you want, but you will be asleep like most of the population. You will doubt of yourself, you will be fearful (that's how ego keeps you in the illusion), you will desire one thing, then other, then another... that's how the ego works.

The purpose of life is to discover your true self, that's why ego never is satisfied.

 

In fact there's not such a thing of "healthy ego" the only healthy thing is your true self. Or no self.

Edited April 12, 2016 by abrakamowse

[ranzo1]

13 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

What's happening to you is normal. You are confused, that happens when you hear the truth. Your ego is confused, not your real "you" the "I AM".

Your ego doesn't want to leave, so that's his way of keeping you slave of your ego, of your identity. But, when you leave that ego behind, your real self will be in charge, and you won't need to ask for guidance. The ego makes you think it is something scary, that's why we are trapped in the whole identity thing, in the idea of separation from the source.

You will notice that when you begin to meditate you will begin to change, just continue meditating and change will come alone, no effort needed. Only the effort of sitting and meditating everyday no matter what. Your real self is much wiser than the fake self we think we are, our ego.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for answering. Do you happy with it,or are you enlightened? I will try that, just meditating and doing my thing. sometimes i just felt some wierd happynes when i was meditating,but not often,and maybe that is unconditional love ,but i think that to kill ego isnt imposible. If that is case,then, i just dont care, if somebody dies in my family i dont care, if im in danger i dont care... But i cant talk about something that i dont know what it is. 

[ranzo1]

11 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

You can have a "healthy" ego if you want, but you will be asleep like most of the population. You will doubt of yourself, you will be fearful (that's how ego keeps you in the illusion), you will desire one thing, then other, then another... that's how the ego works.

The purpose of life is to discover your true self, that's why ego never is satisfied.

 

12 minutes ago, abrakamowse said:

You can have a "healthy" ego if you want, but you will be asleep like most of the population. You will doubt of yourself, you will be fearful (that's how ego keeps you in the illusion), you will desire one thing, then other, then another... that's how the ego works.

The purpose of life is to discover your true self, that's why ego never is satisfied.

Do you know it from personal experience or you just hear that from leo or you read it. That is really important. Maybe that is the case , and what is strange to me, every human are born with ambition,to create something. We have that gift to involve,animals are the same all time. We only have that gift to have sense of ourselfs. We have desiers and that is our instincts to survive. Thinking about that is hard to me, i have lot of stuff to do. To learn,to visit new places, to help others,to have passion and to be greatful what i have.   maybe im wrong, but, now i will try to think  with my head and learn from my expirience . Meditate ,and dont think about that. Thanks on answer

[Eike]

As far as a I understood enlightenment it doesn't mean you won't care if someone of your family died. You won't be totally emotionless! But you notice your emotions and thoughts as just experiences of life, which they are. Enlightenment gives you the awareness so you'll notice "oh I feel sad because this person died", but you are aware that this is just a thought which creates sorrow. Since enlightenment is mostly about living in the now you maybe won't even have that thought.


To me your whole story sounds like you just can have eighter enlightenment or life purpose, which isn't nescessarily the case. When you are pursuing your life purpose you are most likely to fully engaging in this particular action. You'll maybe feel something like a "runners high" and I think this is somehow the closest we can describe the feeling of living in the now, or in other words enlightenment.

I hope that helps you a little, even tho I'm neighter enlightened or have found my life purpose yet. My advice is that you should keep your meditation habit up, because it even offers adventages besides getting enlightend eventually, and go for whatever you feel to be important and interessting for you. Eventually you'll notice after some time, maybe months or even decades, that even though you thought this might be important to you, you feel that you are lacking something somehow. Or maybe things go worse and worse and you will suffer so much, that you start to looking for something else. This will be the time to reaching for enlightenment.

[ranzo1]

50 minutes ago, Eike said:

As far as a I understood enlightenment it doesn't mean you won't care if someone of your family died. You won't be totally emotionless! But you notice your emotions and thoughts as just experiences of life, which they are. Enlightenment gives you the awareness so you'll notice "oh I feel sad because this person died", but you are aware that this is just a thought which creates sorrow. Since enlightenment is mostly about living in the now you maybe won't even have that thought.


To me your whole story sounds like you just can have eighter enlightenment or life purpose, which isn't nescessarily the case. When you are pursuing your life purpose you are most likely to fully engaging in this particular action. You'll maybe feel something like a "runners high" and I think this is somehow the closest we can describe the feeling of living in the now, or in other words enlightenment.

I hope that helps you a little, even tho I'm neighter enlightened or have found my life purpose yet. My advice is that you should keep your meditation habit up, because it even offers adventages besides getting enlightend eventually, and go for whatever you feel to be important and interessting for you. Eventually you'll notice after some time, maybe months or even decades, that even though you thought this might be important to you, you feel that you are lacking something somehow. Or maybe things go worse and worse and you will suffer so much, that you start to looking for something else. This will be the time to reaching for enlightenment.

I just watched echart tollie, and, there in something in it. That is nice. I can combine that, and when im not satisfied with something,that that is just a thought. But nice feeling,when meditating,or, just dont think. And,be more in present. 

Edited April 12, 2016 by ranzo1

[abrakamowse]

@ranzo1  I am not enlightened but I have experienced oneness, emptiness, nothingness, love like I never experienced before. I have a T/R (truth realization) experience, where I saw that the reality we are living is like being dead, you are not alive until you begin to be "born again" or enlightened. You begin to live when you are enlightened, right now we are nothing. At least in my experience.

Experiences like that are like gifts, you have to say thank you and don't think too much about them. I know I am not the "person" or "ego" because that ego changes all the time, I know that we must be something more permanent, that there's a real self that we have to look for.

But my recommendation is to meditate, that will bring the awareness you need. You never will know by thinking. I am not enlightened but I am feeling much better than before and I know that everybody can be enlightened. There's a pattern you can see in the teachings of people who are enlightened, in their teachings. When you awareness begin to improve you will notice those patterns more easily and you won't need any guidance or guru. Your true self will guide you.

[Zephyr]

On April 12, 2016 at 0:24 PM, ranzo1 said:

That is the problem, being is ok, but being with life purpose is greath, i like that there is something that is really important to me. To live for something, to do something, and createing a healthy ego, not killing it, and dont oppsesing with that stuff. Im what i am,and i want to accept me , im already fine but also try to be better and enjoy journey. Why dont chase your dreams,even if they are ilusions, this forum exist because leo was chasing his dream and now we have benefits to it. 

 

 

 

Good.

I actually had to go through the same phase after watching some enlightment videos by Leo. I was where you are now until I read the Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

There are part where Deida talks about purpose and distraction. It doesn't say directly in the book, but your deepest purpose really is to become enlightened. Masculinity is all about emptiness and death, which is exactly what enlightment is. You want to be empty and free from all your desire. This is what motivates you to go out there and talk to girls, study hard, have good mental state, etc. It's because as a man you want to be freedom. 

It's true that it anything really doesn't matter. That means that what you did before and all you had didn't matter. As well as you becoming depressed now doesn't matter. However, to take this as if it were negative is just a trap or a blind spot created by your ego. 

What I suggest you do really is to read the book and just get back at it. Burning your desire is the stairway to enlightment. So go out there and do what you got to do. Have a purpose, direction, and take care of your responsibilities as a human, talk to girls, take care of your health, grow, stuffs like that. 

[ranzo1]

19 hours ago, Zephyr said:

Good.

I actually had to go through the same phase after watching some enlightment videos by Leo. I was where you are now until I read the Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

There are part where Deida talks about purpose and distraction. It doesn't say directly in the book, but your deepest purpose really is to become enlightened. Masculinity is all about emptiness and death, which is exactly what enlightment is. You want to be empty and free from all your desire. This is what motivates you to go out there and talk to girls, study hard, have good mental state, etc. It's because as a man you want to be freedom. 

It's true that it anything really doesn't matter. That means that what you did before and all you had didn't matter. As well as you becoming depressed now doesn't matter. However, to take this as if it were negative is just a trap or a blind spot created by your ego. 

What I suggest you do really is to read the book and just get back at it. Burning your desire is the stairway to enlightment. So go out there and do what you got to do. Have a purpose, direction, and take care of your responsibilities as a human, talk to girls, take care of your health, grow, stuffs like that. 

Man,what you said is really right! That is really greath book,and you just link that stuff with this ,and make sense. I think,that,you cant be in enlightenment, if you dont go through this stuff( life purpose,sexuallity,ambition),and you cant be free. If i just pretend that for me isnt anything important,and just can sit and meditate ,  that will be running away from my limiting belifes, and problems. Grow courage is really good way to be free. Every age have something to offer. Why Leo dont talk about enlightenment when he was younger? When you reach fredom,you can pursuit enlightenment. Every that i talk is from personal expirience. Feeling is amazing that i do things that im afraid to do,and things that are important to me,to free myself from anxity , and fear. You just cant tell to me that that is a lie, maybe it is, but my body knows ,what is good,i just feel that. If i have greath carrer,financial independent , expirienced with women, then, i m ready. I just screw up my grades , and dont have motivation to do stuff, but, i know that dont will do any good for me. Life isnt that black-white,that,when you are enlightenment,everything will solve. Pain is really good thing,that we can use to grow ourself.