Sex, meditation and everything in between

[Spry]

A little about me: I've been involved -- or should I say immersed -- in dating, meditation and personal development for 8 or 9 years and it's taken me a long way, but I still have a lot to learn. I'm 30 now, and this journal will be about whatever's going on in my life, whether that be rampant sex or sitting still and staring at a wall.

12/22/18

It's certainly been an interesting week.

My 13 month relationship ended mid November and I began dating again last Sunday.

I'll probably talk more about my relationship in another post, but for now suffice it to say that I learned a lot, became a much better partner, and stayed a bit too long with someone I simply wasn't compatible with.

First date since that was on Sunday. Tall, rail-thin brunette girl with a pretty face that frequently gives tells of insecurity. She's beyond sweet, perhaps too sweet and sensitive for the world she's had to navigate. We chat, vibe, share stories and connect. It's clear she likes me a lot. "Want to go snuggle?", she says, and we walk back to my place. I touch her until she comes, she gives me head until I do, and we wait on sex until next time.

On Monday I go out with a gorgeous Indian girl. She's sarcastic and Americanized with big dark eyes and an intoxicating smile.  We have a good time, kiss and send each other playful texts for the rest of the night.

Tuesday I have a long day and almost have to cancel my date with a third girl. I make it though and she's waiting for me when I get there. She has bangs, dark hair and dark yes, and a deepish voice that seems curated to cover up vulnerability and femininity. We grab a drink, talk, gradual inch closer to each other until our legs are intertwined and she loosens up a bit. We kiss and leave, and as I'm driving home she invites me over. I take her up on the offer, and after a long period of futzing around we climb in bed together. She's very insecure about sex, and I tell her it's not important to me whether we have sex or not, but I'll help her explore it if she wants. We do that for a bit and I encourage her, but eventually she becomes self-conscious and just wants to snuggle. I leave a little bit later.

Wednesday is the 4th in my string of dates. We meet, chat about superficial stuff and then gradually deeper stuff. I pick her brain and she picks mine. We finish our drinks and I invite her back for a glass of wine. She comes, and we go have great sex.

Thursday I go on a second date with the beautiful Indian girl. I like her playfulness and charm, but I'm not sure what's underneath yet. She's the prettiest and most well-adjusted of the girls I've met this week, but our conversations have been the most superficial. We make out again and text each other for the rest of the night.

Friday I go over to the house of the tall, thin brunette girl from Sunday. Her room is meticulously prepared and we light candles and have amazing sex. It feels just like one of those flashback scenes from a movie, where everything is white and idyllic. 

Today I went back home for the holidays; a much needed break. 

Honestly not sure where all of this is going. I'm always looking for that one girl to settle down with, but if the quote "when the student is ready, the master will appear" is true, perhaps I'm just not ready yet. In the meantime I'm really enjoying myself, learning a lot and hopefully having a positive impact on some of these girls too.

Outside of dating, I've been meditating 10 minutes a day using Sam Hariss's app and re-listening to Tolle's books. I'm trying not to force things with meditation; I find if I try to do an hour a day I get frustrated with the slow progress, or simply burn out or lose interest.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'll talk more about my thoughts and orientation towards these things in future posts.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Spry