Existence is a TV Screen: My Enlightenment Experience

[TheAvatarState]

So this experience happened 5 days ago, yet I'm still blown away by the simplicity and power of it. I've been debating whether I should write a full post on it, but I figured that my account could help others on this forum. And are we not on this journey together? I didn't want to wait too long, or I might lose some of the finer details. This story is just as much for me as it is for you. I really hope you'll be able to understand (or at least intuit) the gravity of what's being said here. If you haven't had an enlightenment experience yet, please forget everything you think you know about it. This is it; it probably doesn't get more simple or direct than what I'm about to share here.

First off, I'd like you to watch this wonderful video from Rupert Spira. I watched it a few hours before my enlightenment experience, and little did I know, it proved to be crucial for me to have that awakening.

In the video, Rupert uses the analogy that we are characters in a movie-- a movie I'd like to title The Search for Enlightenment. Even though we're not aware of it, we play characters in this adventure movie of life, and we're always told by other characters that the thing we're searching for is just over that hill, or just in the next town over. We're constantly seeking for this thing, thinking it's a destination or an event, and that once we experience it, then everything else will be fine.

Well, Rupert eloquently explains that the characters in the movie have been duped! That's you! That was me! Enlightenment is not an achievement. It is not a place. It is not an event. So then... what do we as the characters in the movie do? Is there any hope? Well, yes! But that requires you to make a paradigm shift to understand what enlightenment really is. Drop all of your assumptions, fears, and doubts. Your job--as the character in the movie--is to play and enjoy your part in the movie, but to also become aware of the screen that you're being played on. Enlightenment is being aware of the screen. This is a huge meta-perspective shift! Imagine how difficult it would be to convince a character in a movie (assuming they're real people and not actors), that they're not real! That to truly enjoy their life and role in society, that they have to become aware of the screen. Of course they'd say, "What screen?! This is all real, can't you see??" Then they'd laugh you away, and if you were insistent, they'd call you a lunatic! We're talking about The Truman Show levels of recontextualization.

After watching the video, I thought, "Huh, maybe it really is that simple. In fact, it makes perfect sense that it would be that simple. Of course enlightenment can't be found in the movie! Duh!" I've been researching enlightenment and watching Leo's videos for a few months now, so conceptually this made sense, and it seemed to fit in with what I already knew. So I thought about it a couple times throughout the day, but nothing came of it. It didn't really click since I was trying to conceptualize this whole movie scenario in my head. However, watching that video planted the seed for my awakening experience during my meditation session later that night.

It's late at night, around 9pm. I have this ritual where I do my concentration and meditation practice right at the end of the day. I doubt that's the most effective, but regardless, it seems to always work out that way and I like it. I also like to do these in my living room in complete darkness. So after my 3 minutes of concentration with a metronome, I get up on the couch, back straight, eyes closed, to do my 15-ish minute meditation. Nothing out of the ordinary so far. However, after about 3-4 minutes (that quick??) into my meditation, I find myself in an interesting headspace... I somehow got as close to no-mind as I've ever achieved, probably 90% of my thoughts just vanished, and I found myself peacefully drifting in a sea of awareness. I could pick up on a stray thought every 3 seconds maybe, but I was completely detached, and as such I simply watched it float on by. It was quite surreal. Just that experience alone would have been awesome enough, but it was what happened next that rocked my world...

As I'm drifting in the sea, the best metaphor I can use is that the sea slowly turned into a serene lake, with not even my few remaining thoughts able to make a splash or ripple. Then I had an intuition that I should open my eyes... I ALMOST NEVER open my eyes during meditation! But here's what's interesting about the rest of this experience: I didn't really "think" any of this stuff. Usually I talk to myself in my head using English, but not a word was thought. I just felt that I needed to open my eyes, so I did. Now picture the scene. I'm meditating on my couch, legs crossed, in almost complete darkness. Only some faint moonlight from an adjacent room filtering in. I didn't plan any of this out, but guess what my eyes were met with when I opened them? You guessed it, the faint outline of my 50in TV monitor a few feet in front of me! Holy. Shit. Within the span of a couple seconds, I recognized the tv, my eyes shot wide open, adrenaline rushed through me, and tons of intuitions (not thoughts) came into me about the Rupert Spira video I had just watched a few hours ago. There was no reasoning, no thinking, nothing. Just understanding. I made this cosmic recontextualization of my life as playing out on a multi-dimensional and multi-sensory screen, just like the 2d, exclusively visible one in front of me! I slowly looked around the room, and was conscious that it was all screen. I not only recognized my role in the movie, but my True self as being this constant, present awareness of all this sensory dream stuff being interfaced through the screen. My physical body even turned into a screen. And it was all one. I became one with the room. I basked in this completely alien and indescribable sensation, just looking around and realizing that everything I had ever known was nothing but screen. After about 1 minute, my first tangible thought arose. I grin so genuinely and widely that my face feels like it's stretching, and I say to myself, "This is it. It doesn't get any better than this." You might think this would be scary, but for me in that position, I was READY for truth. I had this intuition that it was staring itself in my face my whole life. But I got it; it finally clicked in a sober state, and now I get to carry that with me forever.

Since then, not too much has changed. I'm overall a little happier, a little lighter, able to keep things in check. I'm still taking the steps that I already put in place for improving my life. Everything is funny to me, but that was the case for months before then. You have to understand that I've had some INTENSE awakenings on psychedelics over the past two years. I'd imagine that for a normal person with no such experience, an out-of-the-blue sober enlightenment like I just recounted would completely change their life, and it would really throw them off their rocker. But for me, it was like a final puzzle piece snapping into place. I was like, "Oh! This is it!" 

Unlike many people on this forum, I'm not going to masquerade as some enlightened being. I am not enlightened, and I don't believe there's a line to be drawn in the sand to make such a claim. It is not a title. It is simply the awareness of one's own true nature. After enlightenment, it is clear that my capacity to love is still low, but I know my potential to be infinite. I am ABLE to love everything, but my capacity to show and act that out is still underdeveloped. Likewise, I am ABLE to be happy in every situation, but my capacity to be that conscious presence is still underdeveloped. It's like enlightenment was the last piece in clearing any roadblocks ahead, but the fact of the matter is that I still haven't driven that far. Enlightenment is not a teleportation device. But I'm very thankful that I earned this understanding early on in my journey, so that I'm free to charge ahead.

Edited December 23, 2018 by TheAvatarState

[Hellspeed]

You talking about the light side of the matter, Egoic Enlightenment. As Rupert Spira is too. 

Yeah, there are realisations and realisations. And there is a line when one can draw a start of permanent awakening, that start is when one is not bothered anymore by thoughts and dreams, any thought and dream will make sense, the when, the why and the what. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

I empathize.

i say I empathize because I've had those did you see what I see kind of experiences and the frustration of trying to communicate something about it. Starting with my language right there which begins to alter things. It's more of an experiencing than a seeing.

We human critters with our subtle energy centers are provided with an infinite variety of awakening experiences it seems in regards to discovery of the subtle realm. My languaging but ,,, you get my drift,,,

Castenada,,, Shaman language might say that your assemblage point shifted on the outside of your energy 'egg'.

 

[FoxFoxFox]

@TheAvatarState The analogy of the screen with actors playing on it is a very common one and mostly rooted in Hindu teachings. Ramana Maharshi too often talked about the Self being like a cinema screen upon which various movies are shown, or, like a theater light that illuminates everything and is never turned off. Of course, in the absolute sense, none of these things are true, but as far as analogies go, they are pretty good ones. 

[TheAvatarState]

@FoxFoxFox yes, I had heard that analogy many times before, and it is a good one. But there's a difference between conceptualizing it and experiencing it, of course. Words can't do any of this justice  

[Nahm]

@TheAvatarState Awesome! ❤️??   Respecting your understanding of unity & humility, btw. 

[FoxFoxFox]

48 minutes ago, TheAvatarState said:

@FoxFoxFox yes, I had heard that analogy many times before, and it is a good one. But there's a difference between conceptualizing it and experiencing it, of course. Words can't do any of this justice  

Well, you know, turns out that the one that conceptualizes is not separate from the Self. The Self is never obscured. Also, it's quite impossible to conceptualize something which you have not experienced. 

[Leo Gura]

@TheAvatarState Nice!

Have you realized the screen is infinite?

[TheAvatarState]

@Nahm ?

@FoxFoxFox true. It's our identification with objects that forms the appearance or sensation of a separate self, not that we were ever actually separate from it. 

One of the biggest traps our minds like to make is to pre-conceptualize or pre-judge something we have not yet experienced. This skill was extremely useful in our evolution, for instance, to assess dangers before they actually killed us. However, this is turning into a hindrance more and more as we thirst for true spirituality, which cannot ultimately be achieved through the mind. Transcendence is a tricky beast, considering our millions of years of psychological evolution. This enlightenment shit is brand new to our species!

[Nahm]

@TheAvatarState If I may sir, the evolution you speak of is yet anther “pre-conceptualizing” of the experience ‘Now’, the - actuality of being. Evolution is a cover story, not something which happened. It is like a rollercoaster, which twists and turns, but upon dropping you off - it disappeared, it was never there - danger, is movie. 

 

[Cepzeu]

@TheAvatarState Nice!

Make sure to keep your spiritual practice up despite this. I had a big ego backlash after I experienced this which pushed me off course.

[TheAvatarState]

@Leo Gura In that specific experience, my awareness didn't go much past my living room, but I have had the realization of infinity on psychedelics. So yes, this screen is infinite, as it must be!  So I've experienced no self, the screen, infinity, and consciousness as fundamentally irreducible--the fabric reality. Where should I be looking next? I've had some amazing feelings of love, but I wouldn't say I've experienced infinite love. I also have plans for taking 5-meo for the first time this summer, as it's one of the only psychedelics I haven't tried yet. Should I just read Ramaji's book 1000 to gauge where I'm at? Thank you. 

@Nahm I see where you're coming from, and I think we're just coming from different angles. In the Absolute sense, yes, none of this shit ever happened and all we have is now. But in a more relative and practical sense, we are controlled by the desires of the ego mind. For example, people in the 1700's knew nothing about Evolution, but were still controlled by the ego. It's really helpful to understand our history and trajectory, not only for understanding our animalistic tendencies, but for improving our diet to something more appropriate. The possibilities are endless

[FoxFoxFox]

@TheAvatarState One particular thing that i had always heard but didn't realize what that it's not correct to say that all these forms are within consciousness. At first one might be tempted to say such a thing. As time passed though, I realized that within and without are concepts. In truth, all these apparent "forms" are themselves consciousness. I think this recognition is the foundation for divine love. 

[ground]

2 minutes ago, FoxFoxFox said:

@TheAvatarState One particular thing that i had always heard but didn't realize what that it's not correct to say that all these forms are within consciousness. At first one might be tempted to say such a thing. As time passed though, I realized that within and without are concepts. In truth, all these apparent "forms" are themselves consciousness.

But if this were the case then seeing a square green form consciousness would be square and green.

[FoxFoxFox]

@ground I'm not sure what you mean by your sentence. Perhaps you can rephrase the point 

[ground]

8 minutes ago, FoxFoxFox said:

@ground I'm not sure what you mean by your sentence. Perhaps you can rephrase the point 

you said "In truth, all these apparent "forms" are themselves consciousness"

And I replied "But if this were the case then seeing a square green form consciousness would be square and green." meaning: if it were the case that "In truth, all these apparent "forms" are themselves consciousness" then when seeing an apparent "form" which appears as square and green according to your 'truth' consciousness would be square and green.

[FoxFoxFox]

@ground Well consciousness itself has no shape or form. It knows itself through (A) being aware of its own existence, and (B) being aware of forms through the lenses or instrument of other forms. Words really fail at communicating the point here, perhaps, but, in some sense, when you look at a square that is green, that is in fact, consciousness appearing as a green square. 

Edited December 23, 2018 by FoxFoxFox

[TheAvatarState]

@Cepzeu Thanks for the advice; I'll definitely stay on track.

[Nahm]

@TheAvatarState “Other-than-the-absolute-sense” is your illusion, is what was pointed to. Of course I understand your narrative. It was just a pointer of nonobjective reality. ??? You really, actually, literally, are, the “screen”. 

[Leo Gura]

There is no difference between the screen and all the stuff on the screen.

You can differentiate them if you want but they are simultaneously one.

If you are seeing the screen as one thing and the stuff on the screen as another thing, that is a duality. So just realize they are one.