It bothers me when a girl has (ex) boyfriends

[eleveneleven]

On 12/22/2018 at 1:15 PM, Eric Tarpall said:

Limiting belief.

Do it, then. Find a girl like that (who is chaste and virginal) and date her. Sometimes the most efficient way to see how relationships actually work is to have one in practice for yourself, though you will have to live through it consciously to learn anything valuable. We can talk all about some theoretical girl, but experience is the only teacher.

I say this because a lot of the things you're saying in this thread are actually 100% bullshit beliefs, based on your image of women, and not on how they actually are. "Each ex has a piece of her heart." Stories you are telling yourself about some theoretical woman.

So quit telling stories and live the real story. Try to view the relationship with an open mind without applying your biases to it, and then see how it really is. That's the only way you'll really know.

I used to have all kinds of unrealistic ideas about women, and most of them were built to compensate for insecurities that I had, though at the time I didn't realize this. I thought I had a strong self-esteem, but I didn't. Deep down, I wanted a feminine and submissive partner because it made me feel stronger and more masculine. It was only after I let go of that insecurity that I ironically was able to attract a feminine and submissive partner and have a healthy relationship.

If you don't care that much about what your partner's agenda is, as you imply, then you will probably not attract a partner who cares about what you want. You will just be using each other for your selfish ends. You say you're fine with this, but what kind of relationship is that? Something so transactional will wear on a person eventually. Women who are feminine, submissive, and who will love you unconditionally do exist, but when you can't offer anything of value in return--like your own unconditional love and vulnerability--then they will not want to date you.