Social anxiety = Fear of being murdered

[Eric Tarpall]

If you're physically weak and not skilled at fighting your brain knows that. And it wants to keep you safe. So it creates the anxiety. When people for example laugh at you that's a threat because that means they don't respect / fear you. And that makes it more likely that they will attack & murder you. So learning self defense should solve the social anxiety problem. This also includes fleeing & evasion skills. Like running and hiding.

[StephenK]

@Eric Tarpall Social anxiety is the fear of being ostracized and falling down towards the bottom of the social ladder, regardless of whether you're strong or not. Being rejected by the group lowers your perceived status and causes you to struggle to get things you want biologically (social approval, sex, resources, security etc). Its chimp shit really -- speaking as someone that suffers from social anxiety. 

[CreamCat]

Being neurotic about failure cripples performance in the long term.

[ajasatya]

@Eric Tarpall it's possible to heal from social anxiety simply by stopping to care about what others think about you.

it doesn't really matter if others don't respect or fear me. i live my own mental state.

[brugluiz]

I had a lot of social anxiety when I was a Sanshou athlete. I was very strong during those times, but I still had a different type of confidence that I was able to walk on the streets with not so much fear. I still had fear of guns and etc, but some evil people would stay away from me due to my size.

[Eric Tarpall]

2 hours ago, StephenK said:

Social anxiety is the fear of being ostracized and falling down towards the bottom of the social ladder

Maybe because that increases the chance of being murdered?

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

it's possible to heal from social anxiety simply by stopping to care about what others think about you.

I don't really care anymore about what people think but I am still afraid of being attacked.

1 hour ago, brugluiz said:

I had a lot of social anxiety when I was a Sanshou athlete.

I don't know what Sanshou means but you were probably surounded by lots of strong guys. That would explain the anxiety.

[ajasatya]

1 minute ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I don't really care anymore about what people think but I am still afraid of being attacked

contradiction. you care because you think that they're thinking of attacking you. i think the truth is somewhere nearer "they don't give a damn about you"

Edited December 21, 2018 by ajasatya

[Eric Tarpall]

1 minute ago, ajasatya said:

contradiction. you care because you think that they're thinking of attacking you. i think the truth is somewhere nearer "they don't give a damn about you"

They can think it all day long as long they don't act on it. I'm more concerned with people's actions than with their thoughts.

[ajasatya]

1 minute ago, Eric Tarpall said:

They can think it all day long as long they don't act on it. I'm more concerned with people's actions than with their thoughts.

have you been abused on your childhood?

[Rilles]

Getting kicked out of the tribe, yeah. Imagine yourself being a hunter-gatherer kicked out of your pack of people living in the wild, you would die within days.

Thats the theory I most believe in anyway.

 

[brugluiz]

27 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Maybe because that increases the chance of being murdered?

I don't really care anymore about what people think but I am still afraid of being attacked.

I don't know what Sanshou means but you were probably surounded by lots of strong guys. That would explain the anxiety.

Sanshou is a fight competition (Kung Fu). Actually, I was one of the most skilled Sanshou fighters of my gym. I would beat the strongest guy of my gym who was heavier than me.

I don't think social anxiety comes from being physically weak. It's more about a psychological issue. Owen Cook and Julien Blanc don't seem to be very strong and they still have low social anxiety.

[StephenK]

@Eric Tarpall We evolved to survive (physically) yes, but we also evolved to have the desire for sex, material possessions, status, social bonding, etc. There are multiple forces that drive our subconscious and conscious anxieties. If you were physically abused when you were young, then sure, the physical survival aspect may be loud in your psyche, as well as a sense of lovelessness. For others with social anxiety, the dynamic could be very different. There are various forms of social trauma and therefore social anxiety.

Edited December 21, 2018 by StephenK

[Salvijus]

@Eric Tarpall there's truth in what you say.

Sadhguru talks about it the same way you did just did. He said learning martial arts can solve fear to a a very large extent

Here

 

[Eric Tarpall]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

Sadhguru talks about it the same way you did just did.

I knew he was smart haha. I value power but only using it for good. 

[moon777light]

You might be confusing general anxiety with social anxiety. In general anxiety, you have a fear of the worst that could happen, including losing your life. Social anxiety you have fear of being the least social and being lonely and judged. As a person conquering social anxiety, my fear comes from people rejecting me and ending up being alone, as with other people i know who have it. I trained in martial arts, krav maga  (im not sure if this counts as martial arts), and i did heavy weight lifting and it didnt change anything, i have the same level of social anxiety as before that. However the two disorders (GAD and SAD) have a very fine line, so it could be possible. 

Also, a lot of people that have social anxiety also have general anxiety. As an example, a socially anxious person in a crowd will have thoughts like "everyone is looking at me, they surely think im weird and a loser, omg no one likes me", etc. a person with general anxiety disorder in a crowd will think "omg what if a bomb goes off right now, what if someone is  going to rob me, what if someone stabs me, what if i forgot my phone and my keys, what if this/that", etc

If you trace the reason for social anxiety, yes it ultimately leads to fear of death, but not from someone randomly attacking you, but by being the outcast and left to die alone. 

Edited December 21, 2018 by moon777light

[XYZ]

It doesn't work that way, because social anxiety is a visceral reaction. You can know that there is no threat, you are not in danger around other people, but you will still go into fight-or-flight mode. You could be a MMA champion with your MMA champion friends and carrying a gun but still feel socially anxious. It's not about what you think in your head, but how you feel in your body.

Social anxiety to me is the discomfort of being confronted with other peoples' emotions directed at me when I am not prepared for it. This can be something as simple as walking down a narrow sidewalk the same time as a confrontational looking person coming towards me. I don't think he is a threat, but if I see someone like this staring at me, I will either get very nervous and scared, or angry and defensive, and my body language will show it, this is that happens when I just confront my fear and power through social anxiety anyway.

I don't fear violence, but I fear the unpleasant sensations of my own involuntary reactions. tough looking guys probably aren't going to punch me in the face when I walk past them, but it's likely I could trip and stumble because I'm distracted & nervous, and my body tenses up, creating corresponding emotional tension.

I also fear other people's reactions to my social anxiety itself, this is why I use the self checkout whenever I can, so a human cashier can't judge me as being a condescending asshole to them because I don't make eye contact, or my eye contact is an emotionless blank expression.

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2018 by XYZ

[bejapuskas]

@Eric Tarpall  You actually care so much, but you are resisting it, you don't face your fear. What resists, persists.  Try journaling.

[Hellspeed]

If one projects the heart, no harm will be done, from nobody, genuine heart space is stronger than anything, anyone. 

Edited December 22, 2018 by Hellspeed