Mirroring Consciousness

[ivankiss]

How to be a mirror?

How to be cool with being constantly "misperceived"?

How to stop runing from the reflection? 

Why does something that doesn't matter matter?

How to be cool with triggering and not slip into explaining that, which needs no explanation?

How to stop returning to the maze?

How to stop asking? 

How to just know?

 

[Outer]

Do you have any examples?

[ivankiss]

1 minute ago, Outer said:

Do you have any examples?

This topic is one.

I am unable to stop asking questions I know the answers to. They are essentially one question; merely the form is changing. I recognize the paradox, but I still choose to stay in it. I cannot escape the sense that there is something more and I keep asking.

Another one would be; when I interract socially. I have conflicting approaches. Sometimes loving, other times cocky. Allthough I know it is all out of love in essence.

I care about how I will be perceived and will my appearance trigger others. 

Sometimes the mind enjoys this paradox; other times it gets lost in it.

[Outer]

Do you have an example of a social interaction?

[ivankiss]

15 minutes ago, Outer said:

Do you have an example of a social interaction?

I push boundaries with transparency.

I expose the I to extents I never dared to go before. I try to love the fear. Others seem not to be responding to fear with love and accaptence.

I made a breakthrough, one could say. I left the past where it was. I travelled to the other side of the world. I have been living in a completely new enviroment as a new version for a long time. The only one who has been going through this transformation simultaniously is my girlfriend. But our paths are not identical; we realize this. I tend to get arrogant. I tend to expose and brag about my progress. I tend to be ideological. I tend to listen poorly. I also get upset when I am not heard. At times I get nuts if I get misunderstood. I also receive the same feedback. 

Interactions with strangers are smooth, open and effortless.

A few friends from my past are entering my reality again. A newer version of them. But the old me is so dofferent I now fear to be fully authentic. I fear to be perceived as an arrogant dick and full of myself. In fact I am full of myself. But I am also empty. 

Is wanting to be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated what's bugging me? 

I know I am capable of showing appreciation and admiration. Is wanting to receive the same a trap? Should I be the one who is generous regardless? Or should I just not give a fuck? 

Thank you.

[ground]

2 hours ago, ivankiss said:

How to be a mirror?

Actually awareness is like a mirror. Why? It has the potentiality to display anything and does not choose. It does not perceive 'this' or 'that'. It does not discern 'good' or 'bad', 'beautiful' or 'ugly'. The forms it displays are neither different from it nor identical  with it like the reflections on the surface of a mirror. It is empty and clear like the surface of a mirror.