Non-dual dating

[Zigzag Idiot]

The title of the topic implies the existence of love as the condition in oneself and the other even before they know or meet one another,,,?

No?

People in the condition of love are very intuitive. 

[Aquarius]

@Zigzag Idiot Yes, I tend to fall in love at first sight. I'm in love with two men in my town right now. I literally see through them, figuratively speaking. I never really talked with them, but I see their soul. One is a worker in a supermarket that was very polite with me and I got the chance to look at his face, he is really adorable. And the other is a taxi driver that was very silent. Neither of them seemed to be into small talk. Very serious, intelligent men. I think it's a matter of compatibility, indeed. I don't have time for a boyfriend right now though. Too much work, but I'd gladly befriend both men, because they seem like decent human beings.  

Here's a song I listen to a lot and that speaks to me in a whole new level, really describes my situation and what I feel, check it out, if you want. And yes, I'm aware of the fact that the visuals are really irritating, but the song is really relaxing for me. Listen to the lyrics and enjoy.  

 

Edited January 30, 2019 by Aquarius
clarification, wording

[Wisebaxter]

@Aquarius Be yourself of course. Never stop writing poems to men and doing what you do. You sound pretty smart and awesome so...

I was just trying to make a point that most men would rather have sex early rather than do all the romantic stuff beforehand and fall in love that way.

As for the term 'nasty slut,' I don't think thats very nice at all. Labels like that are the reason a lot of women end up being sexually repressed, because they're worried they'll be viewed as dirty or slutty if they let themselves go and explore their sexuality in a certain way. 

I met my girlfriend in a dating app and she came over and slept with me that night. We had an electric connection straight away and we've been together ever since. She's not nasty at all. 

I think it's a shame you can't let the autistic guy know how you feel. Who knows where that might lead. His savant super power could be the ability to give cunnilingus for 10 hours straight, then you'd be in for a treat

[Bluebird]

@Aquarius Sounds like you could be projecting your Animus onto these men. 

Can you be certain these are intelligent, serious, dedicated men or is it more likely that this is just a projection? You'll be served 100x over by reclaiming your Animus projections and then seeing the men truly for who they are (maybe just a chill dude with no ambition working in a grocery store, all good).

But I could be wrong.

[Girzo]

And I am just sitting there, thinking that you are simply still inexperienced and a little bit immature, @Aquarius.

Continue exploring, do the self-dev work and you will outgrow all your perceived problems, whether dating related or not.

[Aquarius]

11 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

@Aquarius Be yourself of course. Never stop writing poems to men and doing what you do. You sound pretty smart and awesome so...

I was just trying to make a point that most men would rather have sex early rather than do all the romantic stuff beforehand and fall in love that way.

As for the term 'nasty slut,' I don't think thats very nice at all. Labels like that are the reason a lot of women end up being sexually repressed, because they're worried they'll be viewed as dirty or slutty if they let themselves go and explore their sexuality in a certain way. 

I met my girlfriend in a dating app and she came over and slept with me that night. We had an electric connection straight away and we've been together ever since. She's not nasty at all. 

I think it's a shame you can't let the autistic guy know how you feel. Who knows where that might lead. His savant super power could be the ability to give cunnilingus for 10 hours straight, then you'd be in for a treat

Forgive me for any unpleasantness the term "nasty slut" may have produced in you, it was really rude from my part, I should have not used that kind of foul language. I get what you mean, and by no means was I directing that word at anyone, just trying to get myself understood, maybe I got frustrated with you assuming things about me, but that's fine, you were just trying to interpret my situation the best way you could, and I really appreciate the advice you offered, even if I seem slightly distant.

You see, what someone says certainly says a lot more about themselves than the person reading the forum post, in this case it says a lot about my upbringing and the society I live in, the things I hear every day from friends and family. I'm not repressed, but been repressed up until recently. Been doing lots of work and achieved exponential growth in all areas of life lately, thanks to this forum and a good friend that took his time to listen to my problems. I'm not judging anyone, neither myself nor others, no worries about that. It's just some cynicism that slipped accidentally hahaha, shit...

Hahaha well the 10 hour cunnilingus sounds sweet, but it's not something that turns me on unless it comes naturally. I like to let things happen, let things unfold, sort of like watching a flower blossom into beauty (can't help my poetic nature, excuse me).

I'm taking it slow, building the emotional connection first because we are very much alike in personality (both of us are the Innoccent Jungian typology and his fire energy fits my air energy well). I remember it was love at first sight when I met him 5 years ago, I was just angry cause I thought he is a girl at first, and I'm heterosexual (not like I would friendzone decent women by any means!). I felt a connection to him instantly and I went up to him and introduced myself. I remember he was really shy and cute and I was horrible lol, I did things like pull off his pants to mock him playfully lol poor guy. Fun times. 

Lovely story, I'm glad you found such an awesome partner!  

34 minutes ago, Bluebird said:

@Aquarius Sounds like you could be projecting your Animus onto these men. 

Can you be certain these are intelligent, serious, dedicated men or is it more likely that this is just a projection? You'll be served 100x over by reclaiming your Animus projections and then seeing the men truly for who they are (maybe just a chill dude with no ambition working in a grocery store, all good).

But I could be wrong.

No, I'm just extremely observant of the tone of voice, posture, facial structure, energy, eyes, gestures and movements. Maybe it's just attraction, not literally falling in love. I just tend to live things very intensely since I'm a highly sensitive person and I tapped into unconditional love, so it can be confusing to put these things into words, but on an experiential level it feels very healthy for me. Maybe I'm just getting used to allowing myself to feel sexual attraction towards attractive men for the first time in my life without repressions, and it feels kinda... new. Yeah, that might be it. But it doesn't feel dirty at all for some reason.

I just feel like "Oh my God, you MAN! Please allow me to hug you or I'll succumb to eternal frustration ughhh."  Haha. Just joking, it doesn't feel like this at all.

I just have a desire to connect with the person on a deeper emotional level.

Thank you for caring though, I appreciate.  

4 minutes ago, Girzo said:

And I am just sitting there, thinking that you are simply still inexperienced and a little bit immature, @Aquarius.

Continue exploring, do the self-dev work and you will outgrow all your perceived problems, whether dating related or not.

Careful about what you assume about strangers you barely met. I don't feel like I have any kind of problems (read: neuroses) anymore. I just have a unique and subtle humor that might not always seem evident to the person reading the post. Honestly, all my real life friends tell me I sound like a 40 years old psychiatrist most of the time. I'm getting that soooo often.

I might be a "child at heart", but by no means do I consider myself immature. It's painful to hear I gave that impression, but I understand. Thanks for your imput.

[Wisebaxter]

23 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Forgive me for any unpleasantness the term "nasty slut" may have produced in you, it was really rude from my part,

Hey don't sweat it, I chose to have that reaction. What you said was neutral and I added my own interpretation to it. I guess it just triggered me due to some insecurities I have, maybe about how I met my girlfriend. It could just as easily be interpreted as a compliment  

23 hours ago, Aquarius said:

I like to let things happen, let things unfold, sort of like watching a flower blossom into beauty (can't help my poetic nature, excuse me).

I think its great that you like to take your time and let things blossom. That's what you find meaningful obviously. Personally I like to jump in feet first, full of fire and passion and devour whatever's in front of me like a famished knight returning to a feast after a lengthy battle. Maybe that's the Aries in me. It could be a weakness. I've had many a maiden try to persuade me to abandon my quest for immediate gratification and win over their hearts the old fashion way, but alas this fire in my loins will not be tempered. 

Edited January 31, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[Girzo]

@Aquarius Yes you are a little bit childish. The whole thread is. You are only 21 years old, so it's expected and you have a time to mature so don't worry.

[Aquarius]

On 1/31/2019 at 2:42 AM, Wisebaxter said:

Hey don't sweat it, I chose to have that reaction. What you said was neutral and I added my own interpretation to it. I guess it just triggered me due to some insecurities I have, maybe about how I met my girlfriend. It could just as easily be interpreted as a compliment  

I think its great that you like to take your time and let things blossom. That's what you find meaningful obviously. Personally I like to jump in feet first, full of fire and passion and devour whatever's in front of me like a famished knight returning to a feast after a lengthy battle. Maybe that's the Aries in me. It could be a weakness. I've had many a maiden try to persuade me to abandon my quest for immediate gratification and win over their hearts the old fashion way, but alas this fire in my loins will not be tempered. 

I didn't sweat it, just simply explained myself. We cool.  

Well, when I like someone I can easily become everything the other person needs in order to bring out the best in them, to make them evolve. But that's just me. You do you, of course. 

From what I understood, you had an unpleasant experience with a woman who tried to "tame" you.  Yeah, I know how it is. That's the exact reason I mainly befriend males, because us females tend to have larger egos than men (not all females, just a generalization, just so we're clear), and we easily take everything to heart. I admit I do this too, I get easily offended when I'm stressed or tired. This is just an observation, a perspective. I'm curious about your perspective on the female ego.

I have a few good female friends though, I just always have to hold myself back when it comes to talks about sexuality because they treat it as a taboo. For me, spiritual practices are more taboo than sex because it's something more personal. Sex is just sex I guess. I mean sure, you can make it a sacred practice, but you need collaboration for that.  

I'd only have sex with mystics if I could. Gods be good, one can dream.  

On 1/31/2019 at 10:38 AM, Girzo said:

@Aquarius Yes you are a little bit childish. The whole thread is. You are only 21 years old, so it's expected and you have a time to mature so don't worry.

Am I really childish, or is the image of me you hold in your head childish?  I would rather call the thread unrealistic or idealistic, if anything.

I guess it's my personality that might have seemed "childish", or it might be that I was tired when I replied to you so I lacked the concentration at that very moment. Also, is childish a wrong thing? If so, why? Wasn't I just being overly honest at times, a little playful at times? See, it all boils down to perspective.  

I don't think you calling a complete stranger you just met childish is the most effective approach in trying to help them, if helping them is your intention. In fact it feels pretty belittling and insulting. It seems to me like you were just trying to boost your ego by insulting me. I'm just saying it looks that way.

Your opinion is just a perspective and I don't quite understand why you feel the need to press it so hard into my face. The thread was created two months ago, I made drastic changes since then in my mindset. 

Do you think authentically kind persons are childish? What exactly seemed childish about my writing? The style, the wording, the humor? You don't say anything that is constructive, in my opinion.

It's almost like you try to punish me for being myself. That's how it comes across. Don't worry about it though, it did hurt a lot but I decided to "transmute" that negative emotion in creative ways through art and I wrote a poem I will post later in my journal, so thank you for this opportunity to grow.  

Edited February 2, 2019 by Aquarius
grammar

[Wisebaxter]

On 02/02/2019 at 6:46 PM, Aquarius said:

Sex is just sex I guess. I mean sure, you can make it a sacred practice, but you need collaboration for that.  

I've been with girls who talked about making it spiritual, having tantric sex etc, but in the end for me it usually ends up being the same, very nice, but just a biological (very pleasurable) act which quickly becomes formulaic and then all those lofty ideas just evaporate. Perhaps the first few time it feels more profound or spiritual because it becomes less about the person you're with, their ego and how much you like it, but more about the actual act of making love, which feels primal, like you're both worshipping the moment, God, or your life force. I do kind of get that with sex now after 2 years, but it's not as intense. Perhaps I could work on getting it back a bit, or it will change when my level of consciousness increases. 

On 02/02/2019 at 6:46 PM, Aquarius said:

I'd only have sex with mystics if I could. Gods be good, one can dream.  

Lol, I like that, but the issues might be, a mystic probably wouldn't care about sex that much, seeing as enlightenment probably gives you a life long orgasm of sorts. Sadhguru sat on a rock and cried for about a week at the sheer beauty of it. Then again, Adyashanti is married. His wife might be enlightened too though so she could have a magical vagina that emits rays of light  You could also find a zen devil type of mystic who's had one or two enlightenment experiences but hasn't gone all the way, they're usually quiet horny still. But you'd need to be careful not to be seduced into some kind of sex cult that uses ideas of spirituality to entice you, it's always a risk. 

Sex with mystics. Good album title, or the title for a track. 

On 02/02/2019 at 6:46 PM, Aquarius said:

It's almost like you try to punish me for being myself. That's how it comes across

Being referred to as childish is, I think, one of those remarks that  is almost always taken as an insult and stings a bit, as 'childish' is usually viewed as a derogatory term,  being associated with ideas of naivety or ignorance. We've been indoctrinated to see 'not knowing' as some kind of disease to be overcome, which makes matters worse. Personally I don't view you that way, as an ego, but the point is, these are just labels that people use to create a story for him\herself. Making these distinctions is the work of the mind. It happens because seeing meaning in the world is a way of making sense of it, although it's always a manipulation as no meaning exists. If you also have a story of your 'self' and childish isn't included in that, you'll feel a need to defend your sense of 'self.' But this self, I'm sure you know already, is an illusion. There's nothing there to attack. So maybe try to see these statements for what they are and don't let them stick to you. Especially as the person using this word may have a different concept/distinction of what it means. We're always only reacting to our own perception of things, which is being fed by 'words' from others. I'm not perfectly immune myself of course, as breaking old habits of reactivity is a challenge. We're programmed to view ourselves to a large extent through other people's conceptual filters 

Edited February 5, 2019 by Wisebaxter

[bejapuskas]

2 hours ago, Wisebaxter said:

Lol, I like that, but the issues might be, a mystic probably wouldn't care about sex that much, seeing as enlightenment probably gives you a life long orgasm of sorts. Sadhguru sat on a rock and cried for about a week at the sheer beauty of it. Then again, Adyashanti is married. His wife might be enlightened too though so she could have a magical vagina that emits rays of light  You could also find a zen devil type of mystic who's had one or two enlightenment experiences but hasn't gone all the way, they're usually quiet horny still. But you'd need to be careful not to be seduced into some kind of sex cult that uses ideas of spirituality to entice you, it's always a risk.