Non-dual dating

[Aquarius]

Hey so I tried chatting a bit cause I was lonely, so I went on a chatting site (10 minutes ago), but when I open up and I'm authentic, people punish me for not wanting to have sex and only wanting to love them unconditionally. They don't understand unconditional love and even punish me for it. I don't mind having sex or even getting married or having a child, but no one can offer me that I need.

Some things I got called in only 1 conversation that I had, in chronological order:

1. cute (when I was accepting of him and sharing love)
2. adorable (when I was teasing him)
3. awesome (when I was open minded)
4. lovely (when I understood him)
5. exciting (when I told him about my abilities)
6. prude (when I told him I don't crave sex)
7. religious (when he saw I had no interest in sex for sex's sake, aka meaningless banging)
8. naive (when I told him I love everyone unconditionally including him even if he is a stranger)
9. weird (when I told him his intentions are unpure)
10. easy (when I told him anyone could have me, it's the intention that matters and he should study female-male dynamics instead)
11. nazi (when I told him that love is about collaboration and hard work)
12. uhum sure, You will tell me what love is??? (when i tried to offer tips and tricks about pickup)
13. when I told him to go bang a slut instead: - goodbye, im going to have sex now (they said they didn't have sex in 2 years before that, how ironic...)

Wanted to reply "good luck with that" but he left the chat. Wow. His hatred was so intense.

Strange... I'd rather go pickup people irl because at least then they feel my energy. Digital world is not the answer to dating.

I try not to offer my help next time.

Are men really that afraid to be honest and vulnerable? 

Also I didn't even like the man, he was very old and unattractive, yet I was offering all my love and help to him. And he treated me like a piece of crap. Now I want to kill myself and i feel empty and cold.  Help.

Edited December 16, 2018 by Aquarius
spelling

[Manjushri]

hey skip the sites and observe your loneliness. keep your social energy to get out and meet people. somebodys gonna love your love

[Aquarius]

@Manjushri Thanks.. <3

I didn't do it cause of neediness, I just wanted connection with someone. Not sexual connection, but arational/intellectual one. It's so rare these days.

[ZZZZ]

Was your response really so strong that you wanted to kill yourself, or was that hyperbole?

 

Men, especially on dating/hookup apps and sites are by and large looking for sex. They'll say pretty much whatever they have to to try and reach that goal (1-5), and then when they find out it will take any significant time or effort, they will try and shame you for it and make their behavior seem normal (6-13). It's not your fault, don't let it get to you. 

 

Obviously this is a generalization. However, a buddy of mine made a fake female profile based on our mutual friend's pictures (with her permission) to prove a point. She's a pretty good looking woman, but not a flawless model or anything like that. Literally every* guy he proposed sex to was immediately receptive to it if they didnt think it was a bot account. The apps kind of suck in that regard, especially if you're a woman and sex isnt your primary objective. 

Edited December 16, 2018 by ZZZZ

[Aquarius]

@ZZZZ Yes it was! I'm a fragile being! 

But thanks for compassion, I really needed to hear that.

That man looked like 60 years old, I didn't care about sex omg I wanted to make a fragile human being happier and teach him techniques because that's my life purpose, to share love and teach love. I didn't want anything in return, but I didn't want to be emotionally abused either. I told him I'm not looking for a partner, I just wanted to talk openly with someone about who I really am without anyone going non-dual or Freud on me like on more intellectual forums. (which is cool and I still love it but sometimes I need to connect with everyday people too).

[Shadowraix]

3 hours ago, Aquarius said:

Are men really that afraid to be honest and vulnerable? 

They definitely can be.

I find that many were raised by a lot of toxic cultural norms. Men don't cry or show emotion, pussy should be glorified, not to mention constant dominance and assertion of how masculine you are and how into women and not gay you are etc

I've had these kinds of men feel threatened by my presence because they can't 'trigger' me in the things that trigger them which I presume makes them feel weak and inferior and the ego doesn't like that.

[zambize]

Wow I can't believe someone called you a nazi, that's intense.  I don't think all men are afraid to be vulnerable or honest, I don't feel afraid to be either of those two, and maybe you can take my word on it D:::  Sorry you had some bad experiences, I bet if you kept looking you'd probably find some genuine guys out there, although I can't help but say there might be slightly better places to look

[Pilgrim]

There is this quote from Einstein: "you cannot solve a problem on the same level it has been created, you have to rise a level higher"... this counts for this guy too. He cannot see that he has a problem, he is probably absorbed in very low-conscious behaviour and there is no way you will "wake him up" when he is being needy on an online forum. It's as if you would be speaking two different languages. 

The best way you can help other people is to help yourself. Be an example of what you want to see in the world and people who are open will be attracted to you. Then you have a real chance for change and offering help. 

[Toby]

Nondual dating done the right way

 

[bejapuskas]

@Aquarius This is like going around a playground, telling children that the Santa doesn't bring them any presents  

Also you cannot really generalize. It's just kind of obvious, that men on chatting sites usually want sex. You cannot really have any high expectations there sadly  A regular person has a huge ego and when it's a rational man like this one, he will want you to love only him, there are probably almost no exceptions there.

Nowadays, telling people about this stuff is an easy way to repel them. (I've tried it myself, it doesn't help, it does exactly the opposite - think about counter-intuitiveness, the Universe isn't linear!) I understand that it's hard to grasp, even sad maybe, but you cannot really disagree with reality   

Edited December 16, 2018 by bejapuskas

[Aquarius]

12 hours ago, Shadowraix said:

They definitely can be.

I find that many were raised by a lot of toxic cultural norms. Men don't cry or show emotion, pussy should be glorified, not to mention constant dominance and assertion of how masculine you are and how into women and not gay you are etc

I've had these kinds of men feel threatened by my presence because they can't 'trigger' me in the things that trigger them which I presume makes them feel weak and inferior and the ego doesn't like that.

Exactly what happens with me on a constant everyday basis. I'm very intimidating.

12 hours ago, zambize said:

Wow I can't believe someone called you a nazi, that's intense.  I don't think all men are afraid to be vulnerable or honest, I don't feel afraid to be either of those two, and maybe you can take my word on it D:::  Sorry you had some bad experiences, I bet if you kept looking you'd probably find some genuine guys out there, although I can't help but say there might be slightly better places to look

I'm going to the park to pick up men. That's the solution. I don't know what to do with the sex thing tho. I have a healthy libido, but I don't crave anything, I'm above all material desire and I'm very scared of pregnancy and STD's. Actually not scared, i dont give an f, but maybe if I marry one day how am I gonna have a child if I have a std? I'm a responsible girl. 

Maybe FMA method with him using neem gel and both testing for possible std. Idk?? I could live without sex forever and would rather do so, but I wanna please a man too so I'm being ripped into two pieces. Could live even without cuddles forever. I just don't like being called a nazi. Meh, been called worse. ^^ I'm not even a feminist lol. I think the solution is to date women or idk. People (both women and men) think cute girls can be called ugly names because they deserve punishment. I'm sure 99% of my friends think I'm a whore, yet ironically I'm a celibate, and not for religious reasons.  Natural celibate, non-repressive. And I'm not asexual either, I'm hetero. And have an intense sexual aura around me too (I mean irl, on the internet you cannot sense it). Would love to make a woman happy tho because they at least understand me. I think I'm heterosexual and biromantic?

What is sexual energy? It's creative energy. It's neutral. In organisms it manifests as sexual energy. I don;t need sex or masturbation because I am creative with my art, my singing/rapping, my poems/songs and my healing abilities. People cannot understand this, or they simply refuse to.

 

Edited December 16, 2018 by Aquarius
spelling

[Aquarius]

12 hours ago, Pilgrim said:

There is this quote from Einstein: "you cannot solve a problem on the same level it has been created, you have to rise a level higher"... this counts for this guy too. He cannot see that he has a problem, he is probably absorbed in very low-conscious behaviour and there is no way you will "wake him up" when he is being needy on an online forum. It's as if you would be speaking two different languages. 

The best way you can help other people is to help yourself. Be an example of what you want to see in the world and people who are open will be attracted to you. Then you have a real chance for change and offering help. 

Not on a forum. On a dating site. Thanks for the imput though.  

7 hours ago, Toby said:

Nondual dating done the right way

 

Haha yeah I know this video, it was exactly the way I talked to him lol.

7 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Aquarius This is like going around a playground, telling children that the Santa doesn't bring them any presents  

Also you cannot really generalize. It's just kind of obvious, that men on chatting sites usually want sex. You cannot really have any high expectations there sadly  A regular person has a huge ego and when it's a rational man like this one, he will want you to love only him, there are probably almost no exceptions there.

Nowadays, telling people about this stuff is an easy way to repel them. (I've tried it myself, it doesn't help, it does exactly the opposite - think about counter-intuitiveness, the Universe isn't linear!) I understand that it's hard to grasp, even sad maybe, but you cannot really disagree with reality   

I'm not fighting reality, and that's not what I did. But I get your point. 

And hey, we aren't children, I do have my expectations from men. I think the lesson here is to offer love to someone who is ready to accept it.

[bejapuskas]

@Aquarius  Men on these sites don't work like that unfortunately.

[iGhost]

I am extremely red pilled and learned a lot about men and women in the past years.

Here's a very simplistic, generalized explanation:

Men only want you for sex.
Men judge you only based on your looks.
By looking and being feminine, while being positive and submissive, you will attract more men when interracting with them.
You have to learn and play the game.
Men who are using online dating websites are not the ones who you are looking for.
If you are having diffuclties with dating, that's because you have an illusion and idea how things should work.

What I can advice you to get the most result with dating is:
-do personal development, be positive and charismatic with people
-get friends, go out with them, build a social circle
-maximize your looks -> learn what men love about female body and face (seriously research it). Have a decent make-up (youtube videos). Go to the gym and work on that booty (research it on youtube)
-get dating advice from the right place


If you are not doing the things above, you will just wait for a white knight from a disney movie to come along. Better yourself -> you will feel more confident, all I ask is to start working on these, you will feel better.

Edited December 16, 2018 by iGhost

[zambize]

33 minutes ago, Aquarius said:

Exactly what happens with me on a constant everyday basis. I'm very intimidating.

I'm going to the park to pick up men. That's the solution. I don't know what to do with the sex thing tho. I have a healthy libido, but I don't crave anything, I'm above all material desire and I'm very scared of pregnancy and STD's. Actually not scared, i dont give an f, but maybe if I marry one day how am I gonna have a child if I have a std? I'm a responsible girl. 

Maybe FMA method with him using neem gel and both testing for possible std. Idk?? I could live without sex forever and would rather do so, but I wanna please a man too so I'm being ripped into two pieces. Could live even without cuddles forever. I just don't like being called a nazi. Meh, been called worse. ^^ I'm not even a feminist lol. I think the solution is to date women or idk. People (both women and men) think cute girls can be called ugly names because they deserve punishment. I'm sure 99% of my friends think I'm a whore, yet ironically I'm a celibate, and not for religious reasons.  Natural celibate, non-repressive. And I'm not asexual either, I'm hetero. And have an intense sexual aura around me too (I mean irl, on the internet you cannot sense it). Would love to make a woman happy tho because they at least understand me. I think I'm heterosexual and biromantic?

What is sexual energy? It's creative energy. It's neutral. In organisms it manifests as sexual energy. I don;t need sex or masturbation because I am creative with my art, my singing/rapping, my poems/songs and my healing abilities. People cannot understand this, or they simply refuse to.

 

Well I hope you don't have to sacrifice too much of your needs/desires to get what you are looking for, wish you the best of luck at the park

[Aquarius]

@iGhost I don't have illusions about men, you are putting limits on me and my life and telling me what should I want or do. What a nice high horse is yours, isn't it? I'm not waiting for prince charming, I will gladly offer advanced shamanic tantric sex for someone that treats me with a minimum respect, or I will go hunt em down myself what the heck.. Do you really think all women want is a prince charming? I am a busy girl, no time for fucking around.  

I don't appreciate your looking down on me. I do have tons of very loyal friends, thank you very much. I am an ENFJ-A, extremely energetic and social and no one can cage me down. You're just trying to normalize rude behavior. 

I am a master of biokinesis and I manifested a nice feminine face the way I wanted it to look, not how others wanted me. I studied the female face anatomy and physiology on a medical level and I know all about it. I don't have problems by attracting men, since many guys wants me, even girls sometimes. I got 1000+ likes on okcupid in about 3 weeks, beat that.  

I'm doing minimum 5 hours of cardio every day. My butt circumference is about 120cm. I have good taste in clothes.

I was reading tons of books on dating, thanks again for your concern. 

Checkmate.

@zambize You're so compassionate. Thank you. <3 

[iGhost]

Yes, you have problems with attracting the right men, that's why you are here.

I still think that you have illusions about how men work and living in your bubble. Why else would you want to "kill yourself"?

As harsh as it may sound, I try to help, and not to offend you.

Edited December 16, 2018 by iGhost

[Aquarius]

11 minutes ago, iGhost said:

As harsh as it may sound, I try to help, and not to offend you.

You didn't offend me.  Why would you assume that? 

I also want to help you. I just responded to your message. I was talking on a humorous tone, not on an a feminazi one hahaha. Excuse me if I offended you or anything, did not mean to. Was sharing a perspective.

Killing myself? It was a momentarily emotion. I'm a human I have emotions. It's gone now. Do I have to be depressed a whole week to be believable?

I'm looking for psychonauts and mystics.

I didn;t go on the dating site to find a man, I went to share love and Truth. It was a social experiment, wanted to see what happens if I give unconditional love to a broken human being,. No one can handle my love unfortunately, not even men I'm sexually attracted to. Story of my life.

[iGhost]

1 minute ago, Aquarius said:

No one can handle my love unfortunately, not even men I'm sexually attracted to.

So the problem is in other people?

[Aquarius]

1 minute ago, iGhost said:

So the problem is in other people?

I never said there was any problem. Everything is the way it should be. I only wrote the thread to express my emotions. Have you no compassion? I don't have resentments on the other people, I just felt abused. So in a part we were both at fault, him hurting me and me not shielding enough. Are you trying to blame me? Lmao.