Afraid of making one step forward and two backwards - ego backlash

[John West]

I want to meditate a lot and do more inquiry, shamanic breathing etc. But I dont know wether this is too much for me. Leo said in his ego backlash video that one need to find a moderate pace to grow because otherwise you backslide. And I recognized similar things earlier in my journey when I tried to implement too much habits into my life. So what would you recommend. I'm into spirituality for 4 month now, however, I'm meditating for over a year daily (at minimum 20 minutes, but now probably around 1-2h). I want to do more, but I'm a little uncertain if I will fall even further back. And it's kind of true that sometimes less is more, but on the other hand might this be an excuse from my ego not to do the work. I probably need to find the balance myself, but maybe you can offer me some advice, so I dont fumble around in the dark completely. 

[Nahm]

Hi John, welcome to the forum. Do more. When the backlashes come, stop and chill throught them. Feel the love. 

[TheAvatarState]

@John West yeah, thanks for sharing your concerns, and welcome! 

You bring up some valid points that your ego can abuse the knowledge of a backlash to trick itself into not doing any work. I'm glad you're conscious of that. In my experience, your body can handle A LOT more than you think it can. If you set proper expectations (Leo has a video on that), and are armed with an intimate knowledge of your ego and its backlash tendencies (without letting that fear control you), then nothing will stop you my friend!

[Jack River]

Ego backlash is inevitable when there is effort to become(psychological evolution). 

Conflcit sustians this cycle of ego backlash. 

Edited December 15, 2018 by Jack River

[John West]

Ok, thank you all.

I've seen the video on proper expactations. I know probably a lot about the ego, however, I am also aware that in the situation of a backlash, it's more than just knowledge. So that was my concern. But I'll go and do more  Let's see how it works

[Jack River]

The ego/this backlash/‘proper expectations’/knowledge, and “the me” who is concerned with as such is all one unit of psychological becoming(time). 

All of the above imply and perpetuate duality between what is and what should be.