Leap of faith and my fear of it

[Pouya]

I've got to the point where I have to surrender my desires and satisfactions (although not very lasting) to go on with this work.

It truely feels like i have to surrender my whole life, what i think am and my life is. 

I am resistant and irritated with this. Delusional thinking and Self Deception is getting much worse. Of course ego feels bad about this. I feel bad about it.

Maybe it's one of those deep counter intuitive things, but is it really worth it? Living life with desires and satisfaction based goals or giving up everything to just being and oneness?

Can i trust my instinct or enlightenment?

[cetus]

@Pouya Your mind is building imaginary walls that keep you from seeing the truth that lies beyond them..

[ground]

7 hours ago, Pouya said:

Can i trust my instinct or enlightenment?

you can't trust your instinct and if you were enlightened you wouldn't have posted what you've posted.

Before surrendering anything it's better to realize it as that what it is. Why? Because then 'surrender vs not surrender' may become irrelevant.

[cetus]

9 minutes ago, ground said:

you can't trust your instinct and if you were enlightened you wouldn't have posted what you've posted.

Before surrendering anything it's better to realize it as that what it is. Why? Because then 'surrender vs not surrender' may become irrelevant.

@ground What does this even mean? Sorry I'm truly clueless here. The first sentence is a given but the second I'm totally stumped.

[Jack River]

7 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@ground What does this even mean? Sorry I'm truly clueless here. The first sentence is a given but the second I'm totally stumped.

Maybe in reference to the chooser(the past) who chooses between opposites?

Edited December 14, 2018 by Jack River

[cetus]

1 minute ago, Jack River said:

Maybe in reference to the chooser they chooses between opposites?

@Jack River Maybe. Choosing between instinct vs. enlightenment?

[cetus]

@Jack River What he's calling "instinct" could also be fear/mind in disguise.

[Jack River]

Just now, cetus56 said:

@Jack River Maybe. Choosing between instinct vs. enlightenment?

I don’t know. To me the chooser(the “entity” influenced by contradictory desires) will act in accordance to divided momentum of divison between subject/object. You see what I mean?

[Jack River]

9 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Jack River What he's calling "instinct" could also be fear/mind in disguise.

When I hear instinct I kinda think of conditioning(time). Still having to do with sensation. 

I’m not sure though what he was referring to though. 

Edited December 14, 2018 by Jack River

[Jack River]

Fear/mind definitely should be considered yes @cetus56

[cetus]

@Jack River As you know fear will keep you in the cluches of mind. Fear is it's weapon of choice.

[Jack River]

5 minutes ago, cetus56 said:

@Jack River As you know fear will keep you in the cluches of mind. Fear is it's weapon of choice.

Oh yeah! 

Fear-mind/me(time) a self sustaining weapon of “choice” 

Edited December 14, 2018 by Jack River

[Forestluv]

@cetus56 I’m guessing: acceptance and allowing things to be as they are - at that point, choice becomes irrelevant. 

[Jack River]

Fear-mind/me(time) a self sustaining weapon of “choice” will be fed by the process of attachment/resistance/identification. An unending resistance to what-is. 

Understanding the whole of this fear/pleasure(action-reaction) dynamic and how it manifests itself above is most excellent and necessary.

As long as this supposed subject/object divison is not seen through as it is in movement, that is the cycle sustaining itself. 

Edited December 14, 2018 by Jack River

[Inliytened1]

Here's what it means.  

When you are in an enlightened state, it in it's very essence is non-dual.  Therefore it all becomes irrelevant.

You are pure being, infinity itself - and therefore there is no ego, nor thought of lower self vs higher self, and which is better.

The problem is very few people walk around as "pure being" all the time - as a matter of fact, i wonder if it's even possible without the death of the physical body.

So his question is valid, (FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE EGO)!) simply because when you are your ego, you are not your higher self.  When you are your higher self, you are not your ego.  Do you see the problem here?

I experienced full enlightment, and a complete non-dual experience.  So this isn't just theory to me.  I have been PURE being before (we already are, and always are, but what i mean is being totally conscious of it, and that's when you BECOME IT.   

Unfortunately this is not 24/7.   Leo himself tried making this his default state -- how is that working out so far?

So while you are your EGO, this question is going to be there, simply because it IS YOUR EGO THAT"S SAYING IT!

See what's going on here?

Edited December 14, 2018 by Inliytened1

[Jack River]

The cycle continuity is sustained by incomplete understanding. An understanding limited to its own contents/fragments. 

The whole cannot be seen in its entirety by the obsever/the past. Awareness from the standpoint of observer only sees in parts/fragments. This brings about confusion and prevents holistic seeing, which is needed to bring about holistic action, and not divided action. 

Holistic(complete) action does not choose. Choice implies confusion. 

Edited December 14, 2018 by Jack River

[Hellspeed]

8 hours ago, Pouya said:

I've got to the point where I have to surrender my desires and satisfactions (although not very lasting) to go on with this work.

It truely feels like i have to surrender my whole life, what i think am and my life is. 

I am resistant and irritated with this. Delusional thinking and Self Deception is getting much worse. Of course ego feels bad about this. I feel bad about it.

Maybe it's one of those deep counter intuitive things, but is it really worth it? Living life with desires and satisfaction based goals or giving up everything to just being and oneness?

Can i trust my instinct or enlightenment?

Go middle way, follow the heart without supressing anything, it will go smoothly. 

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, Pouya said:

I've got to the point where I have to surrender my desires and satisfactions (although not very lasting) to go on with this work.  You’re right. They’re habits though, not desire and satisfaction. 

It truely feels like i have to surrender my whole life, what i think am and my life is. If you want to stop living a lie, then yes  - because what you just said there isn’t actually true, you just think it is. Huge difference.  But in this case, for now, surrender just amounts to getting more understanding rather than remaining ignorant. Don’t get all “my whole life” about it, ya know? Be present now. Just one moment at a time, and that’s enough.  Meditate -in this moment.  Self Inquire -in this moment. 

I am resistant and irritated with this. Delusional thinking and Self Deception is getting much worse.  No it’s not, it’s getting better. You’re realizing the depth of the work to be done. That is good. It doesn’t feel good, but it needs to be done, it’s one of many stages of self actualization, some feel good, some don’t. Don’t give up. 

Of course ego feels bad about this. I feel bad about it. It’s not as bad as avoiding feeling bad all the time. You are already suffering anyways,  - keep doing the work. Get a little Truth out of it. 

Maybe it's one of those deep counter intuitive things, but is it really worth it? You don’t really have a choice, do you. You’re already suffering. Don’t forget that so convienently, maya loves when we do. You are already suffering. 

Living life with desires and satisfaction based goals or giving up everything to just being and oneness? See that you desire ‘being’, see that your goal IS ‘oneness’. There’s no duality actually present. You’re imposing duality with your thinking. That is the suffering which inspires practices, like an hour of meditation every morning. Love yourself enough to follow some disciplines.

Can i trust my instinct or enlightenment? You can always trust honesty. 

 

[Inliytened1]

 @Jack River Indeed, what I said just in simpler terms.

[cetus]

24 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@cetus56 I’m guessing: acceptance and allowing things to be as they are - at that point, choice becomes irrelevant. 

@Serotoninluv Wouldn't that be surrendering/letting go? Total acceptance