Zigzag Idiot and the ladder of Objective Reason

[Zigzag Idiot]

To Be or Not to Be
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    Be the things that you want to have.  Do you want love?  To be loving is the way to have the love you want.  By extending your love, by expressing your love, obviously you add to the love felt by those around you.  Not so obviously, you also add to the love that you feel.  It makes you more whole, more full, more complete, more joyous, more love-filled.  You want inner peace?  To be peaceful inside yourself, express feelings of peace and calm to others.  Grab onto every little bit of peace and calm you can find within, and then share it.  Put it out there.  You will find that it calms others and adds to your own calm and peace and well being.

    When you share love, when you share peace, you do not diminish the love and peace that you have.  Indeed, you add to the love and peace within you.  Your mind is a powerful thing.  By using it to express goodness, you increase the goodness felt in the world - everyone’s world.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I have a friend who does Rolfing. Or a form of it.He’s a colorful character. He’s a self taught chiropractor. That should tell you something,,,He went to massage therapy school but he never bothered with getting a license. I would go so far as to call him a healer because he’s so talented. Over the years he’s worked on quite a few people so he can stay fairly busy if he wants to. The paradoxical thing about him is that in addition to being a healer, he loves to fight and will act like he’s bored if there aren’t 3 or 4 at once trying to take him on. He has taught different kinds of karate in the past. 
Mostly with his massage therapy he does a pressure point therapy mixed in with it he basically beats the hell out of you. What I referred to as a form of Rolfing. He’ll also crack your neck if he thinks you need it, even if you ask him not to. A few years ago he got into a scrap with another local over a woman.  They met one another in town on the five lane. One going north and the other going south. I don’t know for sure but I think the other guy just stopped and got out and started running at my friend who was driving in the oncoming traffic. When he saw how he was being challenged, he didn’t waste any time abandoning his truck in the middle of the highway, just like the other guy. That’s how I he told me it went anyway. Long story short,,, they fought back and forth across the highway something like 1 1/2 times. Much like those stupid bulls of ours I was telling about a while back. Similar to the bulls, these guys was going at it oblivious of the traffic.  
This is kind of sad for my journal that I’m just basically gossiping. It was an entertaining description of my friend, I thought though. I guess the moral of the story is that we’re all multidimensional and my friend just provided a good example of it. I might show him this sometime. He’ll probably just laugh.

I got attacked by a big pit bull when I went to visit him a couple of years ago. Some guy went to prison and his girlfriend was staying with my friend for a few days and kind of abandoned the dog for a while. The dog was absolutely crazy and had to be kept on a chain. Well, the chain broke when I approached his front door. He broke the skin an my abdomen. It would have been a lot worse if it hadn’t been cold and I had about 3 layers on. My friend was right there on it too. Even while being attacked I was amazed at how little the dog regarded the ax handle that was bouncing off his skull. The dog was put down not long after this. I thought it was the best thing to do given all the circumstances. That dog could have easy ended up killing someone’s kid(s). I guess that’s enough gossip for now.

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

I can understand why some people I interact with are possibly concerned about my mental stability.  I’m not saying that they are or I think they are because I don’t know and so to state that would be a projection. Looking in the rear view mirror at my life. The past has been a series of ups and downs in several areas of life. Mental acuity , physical health, psychological balance, spiritual insight, inspiration. Human beings are definitely multidimensional. Okay???? Okay,,,,

In an earlier post I admitted to my life being on more of a left hand path within the last couple of years. Not in an Aleister Crowley kind of way but kind of. I’ve had episodes of delusion that mixed with paranormal phenomena to the extent that I can’t say for certain what constitutes actual reality as I write this down, here in my journal, in a non delusional frame of mind. That rather bland statement surely feels like an understatement. To go more out on a limb might just invite high minded conventional do-gooders into my life again and that is something I don’t care to do. Whoever originally remarked that the world of the mystic and the schizophrenic are one and the same knew something a large percentage of the population will forever be clueless about. IMO. That’s enough about that for now,,,

 

Within the last month I’ve began to put my phone on -Do not disturb- for long periods of time. Here is one result. People began projecting like crazy. Some more than others of course. Some who are reading this might find this an inviting thing to do for two reasons. 1) As a Malamat practice to see if it’s true in how it results in many projections towards oneself and 2) paradoxically, an act of Self Love in reclaiming sovereignty over your own life in the form of being free from that damn thing that keeps you at the mercy of everyone who has your number. To put it dramatically. ?

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

Had a nice fire this evening. It was too hot to enjoy it though. I’m still burning underbrush that I’m clearing out on my hill.  It’s going to take a couple of months next fall and winter to finish the whole hill. 

While grocery shopping this morning a woman whistled a cat call at me. Not from a distance either. This was as we passed each other in a grocery isle. It caught me off guard. I just said -“why Thank ya” and  walked away not really knowing what else to do. Of course my ego really got some mileage out of this. That’s the first cat call I ever got as an adult. I think.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

“You can’t be an expert about anything until you’re at least 500 miles from home and you’re carrying a briefcase”.

That was said to my father by a friendly competitor in a family business we had years ago. 
We had quite a few laughs about that one. Because there is definitely some truth to it. You know how people put you in a box and keep you there,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

When a Feeling is Just a Memory
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    When an emotion comes to the surface, how can you know if you're reacting to something from your past?  It's actually easy to tell the difference between "feelings of now" and "feelings from the past."  Feelings of now build slowly.  They are like an acquired taste that develops over time, or like a piece of fruit that slowly ripens.  Feelings from the past come in a wave or rush.  They jump to the surface because they've been triggered.  You seem to feel the feelings now, but in reality, you are remembering these feelings.  Something just happened that triggered the memory.  The feelings came in a rush, because your mind is a fast computer.  Your mind noticed something in your present situation that is similar to the old happening.  You may not be consciously aware of what your mind just did, but you can become aware.  And awareness and understanding are important steps toward putting the old feelings behind you.

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

“Knowing Ignorance is strength”  (71) (Gia-Fu Feng)

 

The fool believes he knows and

trouble follows him

as the cart follows the ox;

 

the needy follow him and

thus, shower him with praise, thus

he believes himself wise;

 

the weak always insist

that they know, but

real strength arises in one

 

who knows his ignorance and

places all praise and reliance

on the Law to show him the Way;

 

knowing nothing, he remains always

a beginner, trusts the Law to speak

and act for him and his strength lies

 

in the faith that the Law will never fail

 

From - Return To The Mother - A Lover’s Handbook: Poems of Self Remembering and Self Observation Inspired by LaoTsu’s Tao Te Ching

 

 

From Ram Dass’ Be Here Now.

I’ve been reviewing all my attachments that I’ve posted over time. Realizing that I can repost them and not take up anymore space I’ve started doing just that with a few. Mostly I’ve been erasing attachments that have little to offer.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Variations of among the enlightened 

In some people anyway, I’m convinced the more purified the emotional center is, the more accurate their intuitive abilities are or eventually Clairvoyance in varying degrees. There is a stereotype of the stupid Saint that’s joked about in hushed tones in some circles. I’ve seen evidence of that too. As varied as human beings are so too can enlightenment be also. In all cases of enlightenment that I’ve seen non-violence is one of the most prevalent common denominators. 

Hammeed’s blog post from January touches on this just a little. Spiritual attainment and psychological balance. It starts like this-

Spiritual, Emotional & Psychological Health

The view we take, which happens to be the view of the major traditional spiritual teachings, is that spiritual attainment has many levels, and that psychological health improves with the deepening of this attainment. The latter will be the integration of one’s spiritual attainment in one’s life, an important dimension of spiritual maturity. Therefore, spiritual attainment might coexist with neurosis; however, spiritual attainment that does not heal one’s psyche is incomplete, or imbalanced. – The Inner Journey Home, Notes

https://online.diamondapproach.org/spiritual-spirituality/

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Notes on Nahm’s Actuality of Being YouTube talk. 

 

This was the first time that I’ve seen or heard Nahm talk. I like how chooses his words carefully and speaks somewhat slowly and deliberate. This to me suggests his center of gravity is most likely in the Kings or the intellectual part of the Centers. 

His phrase ‘Sensational guidance ‘ probably stood out the most to me along with the significance he gives to one’s fully feeling whatever it may be and not repressing. Wow, I love it! And so true.  I equate this with Gurdjieff’s stressing about sensing the body in order to get out of the head. But also discovering and making the distinction between one’s sensing and feeling.  In my mind they’re both talking about the same phenomena. A.H. Almaas in his Diamond Approach is very much on the same page. Nahm’s sensational guidance and Almaas’s Diamond Guidance have many similarities . The whole approach that  each takes seems to be quite similar in many ways.

Expressing is always the key and removing the charge,,,, he said, if I remember right.

I’ve mentioned before about the technique in Scientology of what’s called auditing. It’s the one thing that really does help people more than anything in that organization,. Too bad though that it lends credibility to what is basically a rather malignant cult.

The arc and the loop he talks about reminds me of Heinz Kohut’s  tension arc. https://www.encyclopedia.com/psychology/dictionaries-thesauruses-pictures-and-press-releases/bipolar-self

Releasing emotional energy

The off feeling Nahm mentions connected with the arc. That reminds me of the term Almaas uses in connection with his theory of holes.  https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/theory-holes That is ‘deficient emptiness’. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/deficient-emptiness

Seeing so many similarities is encouraging to me because it points to truth being arrived at in independent ways. 

I may pick this up again in comparison sometime but I’m getting sleepy and starting to fade.

@Nahm If you happen to read this. Thank you for your Work.

[Nahm]

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks!

[Zigzag Idiot]

Your Informed Heart
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    In making relationship decisions, it's a good idea to use both your mind and your heart.  It's called "the informed heart."  If you rely on only one or the other, on just your head or just your heart, you're likely to fall prey to poor judgement.  That's when you will get involved with that someone who isn't right for you, or when you will fail to give yourself to the someone who is right.  In The Prophet, author Kahlil Gibran writes, "For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction."  Reason and passion (or you might say logic and emotion) are both necessary ingredients in matters of healthy love.  You can rely on your logical mind to help educate your heart, and you can rely on your passionate heart to help give you an open mind.  You can learn to rely on both, and balance the two.

[Zigzag Idiot]

My beard has gotten ridiculous. This was my uncles hat. I wear it backwards because it fits better that way. 
Sometimes I feel just as crazy as I look. 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

“I” has to incarnate in “it”

“I” is “it” in a state of becoming

Going to Church once a week and promising God you’ll try to do better while feeling guilty is not anymore effective than staying lost in your imagination while you pretend to be a compassionate spiritual person or some other version of a New Agey Spiritual seeker.

I lost the following post to the computer glitch last week. This will be different from what I posted though.

As a preamble to the poem by Jesse Dwight. I’m leaving a quote from Ocke de Boer concerning making the distinction between one’s Soul and one’s body which parallel the distinction between feeling and sensing.

This is about eventually purifying the emotional center that’s not only corrupted with negativity but also one’s own imagination with the self images you have of yourself being a wonderful person all the time when you’re really not. You know when you’re sleep deprived or hungry and irritable or you’ve been at work all day with a bunch of morons and you just want to choke the shit out of them. Or maybe you’re watching TV and have to look at Donold Trump or some other two faced phoney politician tell lie after lie. Maybe some drunk just ran over and killed your dog and then laughs and gives you the bird as he drives off. When you get angry you’re stupid. No matter the justification.

I was really glad to see @Nahm’s video on the Actuality of Being and see how much he stressed the importance of feeling everything fully and not repressing feelings as we are encouraged here in the West. Especially men. The road out is the road through. That means abandoning a certain use of imagination.

Maurice Nicoll puts it well- 

CLEANING THE MACHINE
“The first stages of the Work are sometimes called ‘cleaning the machine.’ . . . The Work tells you more about what not to do than about what to do. Now people often ask: ‘What am I to do?’ On that side the Work says only two definite things: ‘Remember yourself’ and ‘Observe or notice yourself.’ That is what you must try to do. But on the other side the Work says many things about what not to do. It says, for example, that you must try to struggle against being identified, try to struggle with mechanicalness, with mechanical and wrong talking, with every kind of internal considering, with every kind of self-justifying, with all the different pictures of yourself, with your special forms of imagination, with mechanical disliking, with all va- rieties of your self-pity and self-esteem, with your jealousy, with your hatreds, with your vanity, your inner falseness, with your lying, with your self-conceit, with your attitudes, prejudices, and so on.”
V. 1, pp. 160-1

NEGATIVE STATES II
“In dealing with negative states, look at the ‘I’ in you and not at the person with whom you are negative. The real cause of the negative state is the ‘I’ that is speaking in you...Its only object is to make you negative and absorb as much of your force as it can. Every negative ‘I’ has only one purpose—to get hold of you and feed upon you and strengthen itself at your expense.” V. 1, p. 162
‘WHEN YOU ARE READY’
“The Work acts on people very gently and only in reference to what each of us can stand. When you really begin to see something in yourself, then it means that you can stand it. If you cannot see any ‘I’s it means you are not ready.” V. 1, p. 276

YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’
“Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self-remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161
GIVING UP SUFFERING
“A man, a woman, cannot awaken if they retain this dreadful weight, their mechanical suffering, and nourish it, by a continual process of justifying it.” V. 4, p. 1240

I got carried away with the preamble. This is a clever poem though. It’s really worth pondering. 
 

Said ‘I’ to ’it’

I’d like to know

Why you act as though

I were a part of you

You never ask me if I may

Do this or that or feel or say

You always have it your own way

And never ask my view.

 

Said ‘It’ to ‘I’

You’re first a mite

You haven’ even earned the right 

To tell me what to do

If you aid me, actualize

A small portion of your size

Is not a help, don’t criticize

But try to do something new.

 

Said ‘I’ to ‘It’

Like a machine

You act and feel: Iv’e never seen

You do a single thing

You’re always prompted by a word

A book you’ve read, a scheme you’ve heard

First image; feeling doing third

They’re all on the same string.

 

Said ’it’ to ‘I’

You do not know

The reason these things are so

Because you’re sleeping now

If you’ll wake up and be aware

Of what I do and how I fare

I’m sure you will not even care

For what I do or how.

 

Said ’I’ to ‘it’

That may be true

But after I’m aware of you

What happens to me then?

Will circumstances govern me

With no more will than I can see

Possessed by animal or tree

Or by the present  ‘men’?

 

Said ‘it’ to ‘I’ 

You’ll find it true

That I’ll shall be part of you

Not you a part of me

You’ll be grown up to a proper size

My wish and my will harmonize

And you alone can ‘BE’

 

Said ‘l’ to ‘it’

‘Twould almost seem

as if you acted in a dream

Or shall I say react?

In when you ‘Reason’ takes a hand

Emotion cannot understand

Instinctively you re-act, and

This is indeed a fact.

 

Said ‘it to ‘I’

Perhaps I do

And what has that to do with you

If you think you’re too smart

Observe me, be aware and see

Then not identify from me

Have ‘Individuality’

And don’t be just part of me.

 

Said ‘I’ to ‘it’

Why take such pain

You think that you possess brains

But one of then is small

Although instinctively you grew

Your head brain’s almost lost view

Your solar plexus spins in you

You have no heart at all

 

Said ‘it’ to ‘I’

Why can’t you see

That you should be the rest of me?

Instead you only whine

Wake up and see what you can do

Give me the rest the lack you due

And then the brain which is in you

Will join the half of mine.

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

This is how I mow the lawn these days. I don’t know what to call it. It’s a form of sling blade I guess. I’ve put a smaller handle in it to make it more compatible for using it with one arm. That’s all that’s needed really. That way I’m able to switch out and let the left arm take over for a bit while resting the right while I’m constantly moving. Almost in a kind of rhythmic dance and shuffle. I know I look funny using it that way because I can hear the neighbors laughing . It gives me plenty of exercise though and allows me to improve my hand to eye coordination. Swinging this to within an inch or two from the ground is not the easiest thing to do. Especially on uneven ground while navigating trees and rocks and whatnot. This week I’ve been sweating out a change of clothes 3 times before noon. I’m mean soaked all the way through.

Aside from doing my lawn with it. I also use it in clearing the rough ground on the remainder of my hill and the right of way along my driveway on my neighbors land. I’ve already wore blisters and have started to build calluses. Actually I find it enjoyable in building up my skill in using it. It’s like a 3 centered practice if I use with certain concentration and split my attention . Instinctive/moving center, intellectual center, and emotional center all become engaged. It’s nice also because it has no motor that doesn’t want to start or requires gasoline. Just walk out the door, pick it up and I’m immediately in action,,, Adapting it for use with just one arm seems to have been a good idea,,,,

 

 

[LastThursday]

On 17/06/2021 at 10:45 PM, Zigzag Idiot said:

My beard has gotten ridiculous.

I'm loving the Gandalf beard. I'm unable to grow such a lush beard, my facial follicles just won't do it. I'm envious man.

16 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Swinging this to within an inch or two from the ground is not the easiest thing to do.

Reminds me of when I tried a round of 18 holes of golf. I hit dirt every other swing, it was exhausting. It needs some sort of skill that.

[Zigzag Idiot]

17 hours ago, LastThursday said:

Reminds me of when I tried a round of 18 holes of golf. I hit dirt every other swing, it was exhausting. It needs some sort of skill that.

?‍♂️ I tried golf too 5 or 6 years ago. I mostly swung as hard as I could to the exasperation of those who were trying to teach me. To smack one solidly every now and then offered a sweet cathartic,,,, something.... I plowed a lot of dirt also and got tired of it. Almost felt like I had the fear that I was in danger of becoming a snob. I don’t mean that as a jab towards those who golf. That’s  just my baggage.

Jim’s weekly mini column
Go Beyond the Rules
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    While I am not advocating that you break the law, I am suggesting that you reach higher and deeper within yourself.  It is a lot harder to follow your own convictions than it is to merely follow the rules.  Adherence to the rules can get you other people's approval, because you'll be living their idea of what your path should be.  Following your own convictions is being true to your higher and deeper self.  When you go beyond the rules, you will probably notice other people's disapproval and displays of upset.  (Give yourself a pat on the back, because this disapproval is a sign that you’re doing it right.)  Other people may believe you’re lost and separated from them, and they’re trying to manipulate you to what they think is the way.  Nevertheless, it's not wise to cave in and follow their rules.  There is a higher standard of right and wrong - above what other people pressure you to believe.  To get to the higher level, you have to face your fears of rejection and aloneness.  You have to accept that you are usually the best judge of what is right and true for you.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

An interrupted chapter from my youth,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

Don’t forget to stop and appreciate fine art

[Zigzag Idiot]

Strength Comes A Little Later
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2021 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    You might think it takes a lot of strength to do the things I ask you to do – like being assertive, or accepting life the way it comes to you, or changing your angry and fearful thoughts into loving ones, or deciding to believe that God is really with you and within you.  But these things don’t require strength; they build strength.  These things are strength giving.  What is required are simply the ‘want to’ and the ‘willingness to.’  Being human, you will think it’s scary and risky.  You will experience feelings of fear and guilt as you proceed to make these changes.  But only because fear and guilt are habits of yours – habits that you’ve carried with you for perhaps far too long.  I encourage you to hang in there.  The fear and guilt and other negatives will drop away.  What you’ll discover are their replacements.  You will see your inner strength building.  You will find your ability to be much more of your true and worthy inner self.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

I killed this copperhead in my backyard yesterday. Usually I’ll always leave non poisonous snakes alone. Especially King snakes but not one like this.
My sister was bitten by a copperhead when she was about 15 and she almost lost her leg. I think she was in the hospital for nearly a week. One reason I have no mercy towards any poisonous snakes I encounter close to my house. I always get a case of the heebie jeebies for the rest of the day whenever I have an encounter like this one. Cottonmouths are probably the kind  of venomous snakes that I dislike the most because they can get huge and also aggressive. I’ve seen cottonmouths that were close to 6 feet in length and as big around as the calf muscle in a persons lower leg. They have a strong smell about them as well. Copperheads have their own distinct smell but they’re not as pungent as Cottonmouths.