Zigzag Idiot and the ladder of Objective Reason

[Zigzag Idiot]

When I've attempted direct communication with you in the present it feels like you suddenly draw back. I've stated my predisposition for not really wanting to aim for a long term intimate relationship.  I confessed my track record wasn't so good in that regard in terms of being relationship material. I'm conditioned very much to living the single life. Therefore don't waste time on me if that's what your mind is ultimately set on. I said, "Let's be friends". The world will unfold however it unfolds. I admit that there has been another who I couldn't help but be intrigued by. When I shared what I just shared here. It was definitely taken in another way. To say I was scorned upon would be putting it lightly. I really hated how that happened. I kept trying to make light of things in an indirect way but it seemed to only make things worse. Don't think that this isn't being noticed by quite a few. Most would die from embarrassment if they actually saw how unknowingly transparent we all are to the rest of the world and that we often completely give ourselves away In many different ways while denying the reality of this phenomena. All of us are Idiots of one kind or another and I don't claim innocence. Knowing without a doubt how I can often just act like a dick.  I don't know what else to say for now other than the title to that old song from the 80's - Don't Worry be Happy.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Today was my #53 birthday I think. It was a very eventful day. I won't even attempt to describe or summarize it. I just need to chill out for a second and listen to some hippy music. Sometimes with a few deep breaths, things begin to fall into place and then begin to unfold in someway.

 

 

Edited September 1, 2020 by Zigzag Idiot
I forgot to copy and paste the hippy music

[Zigzag Idiot]

This whole notion of planning a psychedelic trip is for the birds. My best trips are always the spontaneous ones. That seems to be the rule for me.

I've had guests for a couple of days and I spontaneously began a trip with 2 -250ug gel tabs at about 3:00am this morning. I topped it off mid morning with 3- 175ug blotter tabs. 

One of my guests whipped up some spicy hot chili with both Cayenne and jalapeño peppers in it about sunrise. I learned my lesson for good this time. Does not jive with hypersensitive belly center and body chemistry on Lsd.  I had to take 3 hot steaming showers to offset what I call a case of the "Chiquaqua lsd jitter shivers". It a condition that involves sweating and then shivering while being kinda antsy and fidgety like a hyperactive mean little Chiquaqua dog. It sounds worse than it actually feels.  It's become almost standard in my last few trips which seem to have tapered off in frequency compared to last year. Meanwhile, 12 hours later in regards to the chili, I still don't trust my farts. It's been a nice even comedown this afternoon. One of my guests are comfortable enough with themselves that I feel free to express whatever my inner Six year old decides to comment on. 

My last 2 trips I've experienced being different forms as a bird of Prey. The air becomes suffused with fine silky energetic filaments with a definite purple hue to it. I feel into others innerspace. I don't do it. It just happens if I get out of the way. I may elaborate on this more sometime. A lot of people don't feel at home with lsd. In my reaquaintence with this substance from my youth. With age, I find it's completely different. There's a loss of personal boundaries and a great reduction in fear overall. I become childlike in expression. I'm a believer in good stout doses that overwhelms psychologically. No room at all for resistance of what's coming on. It completely washes over. With lighter doses, we question and are more prone to doubt ourselves which can unnecessarily get the ball rolling in the wrong kind of way creating negative feedback loops. This is not a substance for people with large areas of untouched and completely unconscious  shadow material. If you're not fairly comfortable with yourself in being open with kindred spirits,, maybe you should pause and honestly reassess if this is what you need to do,,

 

No matter your opinion of Robert Plant. He always been a free spirit and as a performer in front of thousands he sets a high standard in embodying creative abandon and fearlessness. IMO, it gives him his natural authentic clout that's truly his own.

There's something creative and affirming about the spirit of cutting loose your inner hippy with people you feel comfortable with as kindred spirits.

[fridjonk]

@Zigzag Idiot Happy birthday my friend! 

Can't think of a better way to spend a birthday than with good ol' Lucy. 

Also highly recommend trying a cold shower during trips, the after-effects really put you in a relaxed and comfortable state. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@fridjonk Thanks, Bud.? 

It was a fun day with some rich experiences despite it raining heavy all day. I slept like a rock last night. 

I appreciate the tip and I understand In theory about the cold shower but with the hot water valve right there handy, I seem unable to force myself to do that. Kind of like with people who Sky dive,,, Why jump out of a perfectly good airplane? ?? There are certain mountain creeks around where I live that are always ice cold which I use for shock therapy, though. ?. Maybe one day I'll be able to make my hand turn that hot water valve off at home.

[fridjonk]

13 minutes ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

but with the hot water valve right there handy, I seem unable to force myself to do that.

I know that all too well. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

What Does It Mean to Have Peace of Mind?
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    It means that you express the feeling of peace toward yourself and toward your brothers and sisters.  You are not at war with the world or yourself.  You are not in a state of conflict with yourself and others.  You want to learn and grow.  Indeed, you strive to learn and grow.  But you do not point the finger at your own mistakes or those of others.  You look right past the mistakes to the inner beauty.  You recognize that the outward picture of a person is just that.  So you look past the picture and see the spark of goodness in all.  And because you do, you see with clarity what we really are.  And you give peace and gratitude to what we really are.  When you stray from peace and gratitude, you renew your focus on what is real and good in us.  And you do it with patience.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Ive  been busy.

Been meaning to start a thread on the Fourth Way in the Self Actualization Forum. I’ve fallen behind in reading others journals too.

Ill probably get caught up in a day or two. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

Gru has Superego issues because he never got his mother's approval,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

Many Opportunities & No Time Limit
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    This week’s mini-column is dedicated to a special person who is thinking about making a life change.  I want this person to know that there is no time limit on your growing.  You don’t have to rush to complete it so that you can then enjoy the rest of your life.  Your purpose is to be growing and learning throughout your whole lifetime.  The planet Earth is a great big school, and your Higher Power will guide you along to acquire all the teaching and the teachers you need.  As you learn, you will evolve and develop.  It’s a long-term process.  But the more immediate goal is something you can start accomplishing right away.  You have to make the decision to be intimately involved in this process of growing and learning.  You have to make the commitment to carry it out.  It won't always be easy.  But sometimes it will be downright joyful.  It is definitely not a one-time process.  You will need to actively work on it many times.  But don’t worry about ever running out of time or opportunities.  Life will give you all the opportunities and time you need.  Life is not in a hurry, nor should you be.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I cleared of part of a hillside with a machete today. A lot of saplings, vines, and briars. It was good exercise that required balance, attention and concentration, and agility.

Im watching Leo's last video which is third the series on ego development. I appreciated the phrase he used talking about a higher Love in the previous video. Dang,,, I've gone blank. If I don't remember the word soon. I'll watch it again. I want to say he called it nonpossessive Love. That doesn't seem it, though, but it might be. Does anyone remember the exact word he used as a discriptor? '______ Love'? Give a shout out if you do..

[Zigzag Idiot]

Hameed Almaas incorporates an abundance of Gurdjieff's Work and combines it with many traditions in the articulation of his Teaching that has become The Ridhwan School. The quotes of his below concern the Sufi tradition and their languaging of 'the Latiaf. Specifically here referring to the heart center and the phenomenalogical transformations that takes place aFter  a good deal of innervwork.

Lataif Level is the Transition from the Level of Energy to Essential Presence 

The Sufi tradition uses the lataif system. This is somewhat deeper than either of the above energy systems. In fact at this level it becomes difficult to speak of energy. We can still use the term energy, but the lataif really operate with the higher, more diluted forms of Essence. We can say that the lataif level is the transition from the level of energy to the deeper level of essential Presence. 

Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 40

Presence of the Lataif Can be Overlooked

This particular one of the lataif, the heart center, is connected with the experience of compassion. At this level of experience, all of the excitement, glitter and drama of the heart chakra are gone. Instead, what is experienced in the chest cavity is emptiness. The whole chest feels as if it is gone. There is nothing left but a very clear, peaceful and silent emptiness. It feels as if nothing is occurring there, yet it is open and lucid. If the person pays closer attention, it will become apparent that this peaceful emptiness is pervaded by a very fine and subtle Presence, so fine and subtle that it is usually overlooked by the one having the experience. This fine and subtle Presence pervading the emptiness of the heart is the latifa or the first manifestation of it. The person will experience a subtle but exquisite sense of compassion, for himself and all others. 

Essence with the Elixir of Enlightenment, pg. 31p

[Zigzag Idiot]

12 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Im watching Leo's last video which is third the series on ego development. I appreciated the phrase he used talking about a higher Love in the previous video. Dang,,, I've gone blank. If I don't remember the word soon. I'll watch it again. I want to say he called it nonpossessive Love. That doesn't seem it, though, but it might be. Does anyone remember the exact word he used as a discriptor? '______ Love'? Give a shout out if you do..

It was nonpossessive Love. I found it again at 2:16:50 in his part 2 of The 9 Stages of Ego Development. 

I like that description.

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 8/26/2020 at 9:49 AM, Zigzag Idiot said:

                                                     The heart as an organ of spiritual perception 

From the view of many Mystics and as well as different orders of Contemplatives, the passions are not viewed as a benificial attribute. From some Enneagram perspectives, the passions are the direct opposite of Virtues which mostly can only come into one's being only after prolonged struggle and effort in working on oneself. Although it seems that everyone is gifted perhaps with one unique, freely given virtue at the start of life.

Of particular importance is waking up to one's automatic or reactive behaviors held in place by well worn neuronal networks which are often jumpstarted by the amygdala. This is the process of having your heart hijacked and allegorically could be viewed as the Devil's admission ticket into one's Soul. The devil being none other than fear based egoic identification.

In this talk given by Rev. Phd. Cynthia Bourgeault she addresses this with a degree of thoroughness yet concisely so, in a just a 30 minute talk. She speaks about how an undivided heart has the capacity for higher seeing or acts, in a way, as a mirror for a higher vibratory level of reality. This can only come about after the mind has become the servant of the heart, in a sense, with innocence. (I'm a poet and didn't know it) And yes, we're speaking of the actual physical heart which as articulated by the Heartmath institute produces a field of electromagnetic energy and moreso when the heart is in an attuned entrainment with the prefrontal lobes of the brain. I view this allegorically as the Intellectual complex willingly taking counsel from from an awakened heart.

When someone is driven by a passionate energy, the mind is fixated which actually divides the heart. When the mind is so fixated, the heart is knocked out of entrainment with the reality of a higher vibratory level. This is the result of an obsessive, stuck emotion identified with a particular outcome. Spiritual wisdom being intrinsically moral can almost be framed as the exact opposite in that it is the state of non-attachment, letting go and allowing a spaciousness for the beneficence of the Cosmos to manifest out of the realm of the atom or the realm of Consciousness. This is my attempt at a brief summary paraphrasing C.B.'s talk, which includes a few of her exact expressions and some of my own spices. The poem titled 'Love' by Arnold Keyserling, just above goes nicely with this talk.

 

I'm gonna have to watch that Teal Swan video on the Heart chakra.  This is a post I made on the subject a couple of weeks ago. In other talks she has given and in online courses she references Robert Sardello's little 150 page book SILENCE and credits him with having some very advance knowledge and practices.

He has since released even more in depth books on this subject.

[Zigzag Idiot]

                                                   Reincarnation framed as Cosmic Bowling

Arnold Keyserling made the case that basically the 12 potentials of the Zodiac are to be actualized and mastered in a series of lifetimes. After which, eternal existence is only then assured. Not surprisingly, very similar to Gurdjieff's notion that just because we're born, eternal life is not a guarantee. I like that Leo used a quote from Don Juan Matus in his last video regarding Controlled folly in relation to fulfilling one's life purpose. Arnold Keyserling used the same phrase here in describing his notion/theory about attaining immortality.

Keyserling-

"You must choose to use all twelve of the basic potentials, both in language and in life, when the opportunity is presented by life. Otherwise, they will remain latent. These potentials do not automatically grow. They require choice and intentional efforts.

First, your language must become holistic and coherent. To make sense of your life you have to make sense in your speech. The twelve basic concepts presented in the chart above are the keys to making sense. You have to learn to use these concepts in your speech, your language. Then, eventually, you will learn to master these conceptual cluster-words in a three step process: apprentice, companion, master. This mastery of language allows for mastery of the human faculties which they represent. This means mastery of the full human capacities in controlled actions, or as Don Juan said, "Controlled Folly". Both learning processes - language and life - must go hand in hand. One without the other will not allow for full development. Words alone are hollow. Life alone is incomprehensible. Only both - language and action - allow you to actualize these potential powers. With both you can integrate them into your being, and thereby make sense of life. You can walk your talk.

You fully master the twelve time potentials in a three step process. First, you learn them. Next, you learn them even better by acting them out. Finally, you master them after you have taught them to others. In the final Master teaching stage the Self can merge with the Sun. The Self then can become radiating, full of life giving light. But, until all nine of the potentials are integrated, and the whole potential of your Being is realized, you will be submitted to reincarnation. As Keyserling says, you will be stuck in the "cosmic game of bowling". Only when all of your pins, your potential, have been set up and mastered, can you survive the inevitable black ball of death."

from - http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/

He makes the case that the nine potentials of the Enneagram are basically key and the other three have to do with those life plans which have to do with playing a larger historical role in a particular lifetime.

I' ve paraphrased some so, grain of salt,,,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

                                         Only knowledge and understanding can consume desires" 

Martin says.

This is a good follow up to his Conscious Labors and intentional suffering podcast. 

He's has some tough news for a lot of people.

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Some direct students of Gurdjieff used the term 'conscious suffering', instead of intentional suffering. I'm looking for the verification now or later today.

When i was a kid, we sang these songs at Church.

 

When I hear these songs, I can have 2 or more opinions usually.

This is a bunch of horseshit. What was I thinking? Asks prepersonal and conditioned personal.

When heard with allegory and metaphor, they are beautiful. Say's transrational while the ego is, at least for a while, temporarily shattered. Or sometimes with the ego as servant, in a way. Sometimes it's the Witness only who sees and who has absolutely no opinions.

Would that be both paradoxical and ironic also that most who sing this song do so with the literal in mind?

The transrational can also say objectively, with sincerity and without passion- "This is a bunch of horseshit".

This seems more paradoxical maybe.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Maurice Nicoll on INTENTIONAL SUFFERING from Gems Of Wisdom

“Now self-observation is very harsh and becomes more harsh. If done sincerely it will hurt. But it lets light in and stops all sorts of rank weeds from growing within, and amongst them all the strange growths due to internal considering and self-pity and song-singing. And then at last we begin to see what it means that a man must realize that he is nothing beforehecanexpecttobesomething.”V.1,p.259

INTENTIONAL SUFFERING II

“You may often say you are to blame for something, but if someone agrees with you, it is startling and you feel offended. Yes, we easily pretend we are wrong. But to see it, direct and unmistakeable, in one- self, is pain. This is real, and so useful, suffering, for all real suffering purifies the emotions.” V. 1, p. 166

INTENTIONAL SUFFERING III

“I have found nothing flattering in this teaching. There is nothing flattering, for axample, in being told that we are machines that have no Real ‘I’, that we are nothing but pictures of ourselves, that what we call ‘I’ is nothing but imagination, that we have no Real Will, that we are a mass of contradictions which we do not notice owing to hav- ing so many buffers and different forms of padding, that we are not conscious yet, and so on...All awakening has a sour taste—like going back to school.” V. 3, p. 825

INTENTIONAL SUFFERING IV

“A man must suffer from his observation of himself, but never become negative.” V. 3, p. 1203

SELF-SATISFACTION

“Try to see what you are resting on, all of you. Try to see the basis of your self-satisfaction. You will understand that unless this basis is com- pletely broken up there can be no change of being.” V. 1, p. 338 

SELF-SATISFACTION II

“As regards the remark that this Work is selfish, you must all under- stand that this Work . . . is something that destroys your self-compla- cency, your selfishness, your self-esteem, your fantasies about yourself, your pictures of yourself and, in short, your False Personality. It makes you see yourself naked—makes you see that you have to do some- thing about yourself before you try to help other people.” V. 3, p. 849

SUFFERING ONE’S SELF

“When I am in that state of insight I will continually suffer from myself—from Nicoll and his mechanical reactions. Then I will in a certain sense have to endure this external, mechanical, reacting person that hitherto I have taken as myself but which the Work has gradu- ally shown me I must separate from.” V. 2, p. 644

 

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Another excerpt from http://fourthwayschool.org/principles1.html

The Work says that one is willing to give up anything but suffering; it is the last thing one wants to lose. But we must give up our unnecessary suffering. There is some suffering that it is necessary to endure, voluntary suffering.

 

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Ocke de Boer from - http://www.higherbeingbodies.com/a-dialogue-with-ocke.html

Ocke: Remorse will bring conscious suffering. This is to see and feel your own mechanical behaviour or negativity and seeing you can’t do anything about it. Conscious suffering will bring the Work deeper in you and therefore will increase your being so that conscience can speak. It will give a constant and unflagging need to work and enable you to pass the first threshold.   Conscious suffering is the medicine to make the Automaton surrender to the Permanent Witness. The Automaton is an instrument. The Permanent Witness has to learn how to use it. This process comes into being with man number four.   

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

                                   An Electrifying Analogy 

Sometimes I run on AC (alternating current). People will draw near and I pull away and after a time I approach for a form of close connection with them and then they pull away.

When I'm running on D.C., everything is the same with no roller coaster effect, power surges, or blown fuses.There is no neediness or deficient emptiness. It's no longer me having a good day or bad day. Instead the Witness watches the Automaton have a good day or bad day. In a way the days, they are same - same.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I've been going over the difference between being Awakened, being Realized, and being Enlightened. According to the Almaas Material. I take the term Self Remembering, as it's used in the Fourth Way as an equivalent to these, in a sense. Also, Fulasnitamnian awareness as Gurdjieff termed 'Three Centered Awareness' in Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson.

Most of my reading has been in the two links below although I ran across these 2 excerpts and decide to copy and paste them.

Many Capacities are Needed to Work Through the Personality and Its Patterns

First of all, you need energy, energy to work on yourself and work through the personality and its patterns. Energy is the sense that you have the capacity, the strength, the courage to do something about it, about yourself, about your life... Another factor is determination. Without determination, the energy will be meaningless. You need steadfast determination and an unwavering will to go on, to continue in the face of discouragement and disappointment. The determination is what pushes you, what makes you persist. It is important to understand the personality issues around will and determination: what the issues are that make you feel frustrated, that stop your determination, that block your will, that stop you from feeling, "yes, I will do it"... Another factor that comes into the picture is a sense of lightness about the whole thing, a sense of joyousness. It is a specific kind of joyousness, a specific kind of lightness, a specific kind of the light. The delight and the joyfulness are the actual work itself. It is a delight in the truth, delight in seeing and experiencing the truth. It is a little like curiosity -- a joyful curiosity about things... The next factor needed to prepare ourselves for the perception of the experience of liberation is that of compassionate kindness. It is a very important necessary quality. You need kindness for yourself because the process is difficult. Since you're not liberated, it is natural that you will suffer, so why push yourself in a way that you'll suffer more? Why beat yourself up if you make a mistake? The factor of kindness also brings a quality of trust in yourself, trust in the process, a kind of trust in your mind, in your Essence... Another factor necessary in this work is peacefulness: the ability to be silent, the capacity to be still, not always in activity and noise. Stillness of the mind. In order to recognize true liberation you must have this capacity for stillness or peacefulness because liberation is so fleeting... The next factor which is needed is the capacity to be absorbed in something, to be totally absorbed with whatever you are doing, in whatever state happens to be there. You become so one-pointed in your experience that you become completely involved in it, and so involved that you are dissolved in it. This is a certain kind of relationship to experience, a certain capacity, a certain freedom from the personality... The seventh and last factor of liberation is awakening, the capacity to be awake in your experience. We talked about the capacity to be absorbed in your experience; there is also the capacity to actually be awake, to be aware. You are so aware that you feel as if you have just awakened. There is a feeling of light all around you. 

Diamond Heart Book Two, pg. 5

 

Endless Realization

Our potential is infinite, inexhaustible; hence there is always realization after any realization. You'll have all kinds of experiences, states, and conditions that may feel like an ultimate state of realization, but then that too keeps changing. In my understanding, the truest state of realization is that in which whenever you realize something, no matter what it is, you go beyond it. The moment you say this is it, you will get stuck with a concept, and tomorrow there will be something else. So the true state of realization is more of a lack of attachment to realization.

Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 78

Excerpts about enlightenment- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/enlightenment

Excerpts about realization - https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/realization