Zigzag Idiot and the ladder of Objective Reason

[Zigzag Idiot]

The notion that we are multidimensional but also fragmented is at the core of my healing/work on self/Self. Psychological blind spots exist in ways that we are unaware of because of the subtle nature of self deception.

Often to deal with neurotic cyclical thought loops requires an exercising the 'letting go muscle'. Not easy for my personality or Enneatype which is based on fear. It manifests doubt which mechanically creates possible doom scenarios as a way to foresee and deal with uncertainty.

I have a permit to use personal pronouns in the spiritual community. ? I issued it to myself on my own authority to forego unnecessary complexity in expressing. 

Paraphrasing Almaas- "I invite you to leave yourself alone". ,,, 

Turn and take one step and there is freedom,,,,, Utilizing the simplicity found in Zen. Not allowing our multidimensional qualities to unfold seems to create problems in itself. 

Reading others journals seems to help my own Work at times. I understand the desire of some to not want communication with others. We all need space in differing ways. We are all so much alike but yet so different. 

Edited May 17, 2020 by Zigzag Idiot
Erased short phrase which appeared odd in hindsight

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

My tendencies manifest often in an all or nothing kind of way.

Not drinking enough water led to having a slight kidney infection flare up yesterday I believe. I need more of @DrewNows dietary discipline. I enjoyed visiting with him in person.

i don't do as much physical work as I used to. This has led to more contraction in the body. Stretching or a bit of a Yoga routine would do much for this contractedness in the body but I can't get over the hump in developing this discipline. I may try to simply do more walking in order to limber up more. That I can easily do.  I've always enjoyed walking on cow trails along the creek or through the pastures.

[Wisebaxter]

11 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

I may try to simply do more walking in order to limber up more. That I can easily do.  I've always enjoyed walking on cow trails along the creek or through the pastures.

Important to do what you know you're gonna enjoy to some extent I think, to build that willpower muscle. Then once you've limbered up through walking, you might feel more inspired with the yoga. I like Leo's 'Kaizen' theory of manageable, incremental improvements. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Nobody is special but everyone is absolutely unique.

 

Friend and former therapist Jim writes a weekly mini column. This weeks column blends with Leo's video on forgiveness.

Chasing the Elusive Outcomes
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    It is best not to be married to a particular outcome, not to need for things to turn out in a certain prescribed way.  If you plan what the results “should be” or “have to be,” and they don’t turn out that way, then you think your world is caving in and you feel awful.  You can control the choices you make and the actions you take.  But you do not control the results.  And just because you don’t have that control, this doesn’t mean you are inadequate.  The ways that things are supposed to turn out are in the hands of a Higher Power, which means in the hands of One who sees the big picture and can arrange the results that are in the best interests of everyone concerned.  Life is a great big learning experience.  You are to make the right choices, and correct your choices when you have been mistaken.  Whatever happens, you have another choice, which is whether you decide to learn from the results.  As you allow life to unfold, and do your needed learning, your life takes on deeper meaning and a deeper sense of direction.  

 

3 minutes ago, Wisebaxter said:

Important to do what you know you're gonna enjoy to some extent I think, to build that willpower muscle. Then once you've limbered up through walking, you might feel more inspired with the yoga. I like Leo's 'Kaizen' theory of manageable, incremental improvements. 

@Wisebaxter Good  to hear from you! Thanks for the encouragement. I haven't seen this video of Leo's. I'll see if I can find it or if you remember the title ,,, that would be much appreciated.

[Wisebaxter]

@Zigzag Idiot Hope you're well buddy  I've been getting back into using the forum again. It's amazing how much it's been getting me pumped for the personal development and tripping again. I still haven't had me my non-dual experience. I can't get 5-MeO DMT so I'm wondering whether to up the acid dose (only taken 300ug max, a year ago, and only three trips in total). or go over to mushrooms. Any tips would be awesome  Wish I could get some AL-LAD as well. Never on the darkweb  

Here's the Kaizen stuff. It's something I found on Leo's personal development Blueprint list

https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/kaizen

Here's the actual blueprint list in case you've never seen it. Some brilliant stuff on there.

https://www.actualized.org/blueprint

[DrewNows]

@Zigzag Idiot as you well know I enjoyed our time together, the place is very accommodating for my taste. So much wisdom you shared, cannot thank you enough. Excited for the next time and to see how much growth comes about in between. There’s a palm/hand meditation training (explains how hands can be used as a healing tool for the chakras/organs) I’m testing so I’ll share the video. Food freedom is a bonus of doing the work, grounding within the body. Fruit creates those detox symptoms. The kidneys usually get worse before they get better, water tends to keep them closed but with extended fasts, there’s a good chance they open up and you may feel that initial pain as they are activating/regaining functionality. The majority of people today aren’t utilizing the full extent of the kidneys cleansing effects that’s why it’s common during the healing process to experience a “kidney infection”, but this is temporary and also it’s good not to push too hard. My back doesn’t hurt too often anymore even after “shadow indulging” for a few days. 
We are so powerful, it’s been quite the body exploration just to listen 

 

Edited May 18, 2020 by DrewNows

[Zigzag Idiot]

"The first place you feel energy at, is in your hands." - Elitom Elamin.

I've experienced this as the most noticeable of subtle phenomena. From my understanding, this is the conduit Chi masters use when healing from a distance.

@DrewNows Thank you for sharing. I appreciate his emphasis on consistency and also that the "truth is in you". To me, these qualities are apparent and communicated in his embodiment of light heartedness and being. There is so much here which parallels with the Gurdjieff/Keyserling/Losey Wisdom School lineage that I've followed over the years. In Chance and Choice, the connection is made between the organs and the meridian system.

 The chakras or energy centers are the outermost part of the Astral body relates Ocke de Boer in metaphor from yet another lineage. 

It's energizing and affirming when different sources blend and compliment each other so well. From the endocrine typology of body types I've studied, I intuit a connection between my historical predisposition to over taxed kidneys and my Mars body type which is adrenal and the connection of the kidneys and adrenal glands. This meshes with the idea you proposed of the detoxification phenomena.

A lot of moving parts here and connected with it in a broad way is the overall work in purification of the emotional center and the necessity for the parasympathetic side of the autonomic nervous system to completely relax for all the systems to come into harmony. Not an easy thing for an adrenal type but very needed and crucial. ?? 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

@DrewNows sent me this video just a bit ago. 

Its amazing how well it meshes with the stuff I've studied. - Gurdjieff's egg and it's atmosphere.,,,,, I refer to it as an energy  egg because Castenada described it as a luminous egg which Seer's could perceive. Almaas defines the Soul as a field of impresionability,,,

And on the practice it gave. It was near identical with the practice Almaas gives of 'sitting with it'. The "it" usually being some form of 'deficient emptiness '. By allowing and sitting with it. The deficient state will then transform when completely sat with. 

Im assuming the word toroidal in the phrase toroidal field is associated with the word torus of the torus attractor in Chaos theory. Chaos theory is discussed extensively in Keyserling's Chance and Choice which I posted in High Consciousness Resources. The four attractors in Chaos Theory align with Carl Jung's four functions of Consciousness when combined with three spacial realms give the 12 energies of the Zodiac which are in us. I have wondered if this holon which is us is also the Holon we call God.

The Keyserling Wheel-

From - http://www.chanceandchoice.com/

 

 

Edited May 19, 2020 by Zigzag Idiot
Added Hameed Almaas's definition of Soul

[Zigzag Idiot]

Didn't want to edit again. 

Related to the above is also the notion of self similarity over scales.

As above so below,,,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

Not particularly related to the above video. Had a trip yesterday and was hooked by catching glimpses of some shadow elements. Not a 'bad' trip. Just had to sit with uncomfortable, disturbing elements observed about my psyche.

It's difficult to just simply let go,,,,, let go of self criticism. Letting go and not obcessing is as difficult as it is necessary as it is beneficial. This equation seems to have a different intensity for everyone. Practicing forgiveness eventually produces energy. Good energy. Not easy. Not rewarded by 'the world' (the Culture) 

From one angle, our true nature is to be a benevolent holon.

I crack jokes when I'm under stress.

[DrewNows]

Sending you grace!

“There is no cause to anything” 

but what would be the fun in that ?

[Zigzag Idiot]

@DrewNows ??‍♂️

[Zigzag Idiot]

Thanks,

You too, @Marc Schinkel

 

 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Listened to Matt Kahn's latest video today and got some laughs out of it, as usual. Insights too.

I used to play in my imagination that I had two hours left to live. Not only that, but I was facing a death through slow torture. There was more than one time that I felt a powerful 'something' in me or maybe in my perception that shifted-died-woke up- was horrified, afraid, something,,,, it made me more grateful to be alive in this present moment. It also made me just a little less violent, perhaps. I quit doing this when I realized it was a bad practice. It could actually manifest in reality. Don't care to be doing that, thank you very much.  Seems like this was around the time when the book- The Secret -came out.

Everyone reading these words is going to die at some point. Your body will wear out and draw its last breath probably sooner than you think. That's not very cheery, is it? Pondering on the inevitability of physical death without any violence mixed with it, is probably a good thing to do, though. The Work speaks about creating second body. An Astral body. One of Ocke de Boers metaphors about this is- Feelings are the blood of the Kesdjan (Astral) body).

If you observe yourself long enough to see that you are liar and a coward or maybe lazy in some facet of life and it just totally bums you out. Congratulations, you're under way in purification of the emotional center. After a period of time your feelings will tell you what's going on with people around you without your own projections distorting the situation as much as before. With me, psychological  projections still occur fairly often.They can be so subtle. I'm getting better, though,,, I also want to practice forgiveness more. When necessary or appropriate my conscience lets me know. Eating crow while it's still warm- as the saying goes. ?

I used to feel guilty for having thoughts that weren't even my own. I learned that just because a random thought or association is made and floats through my awareness. It is not necessarily mine. I just need to say toward such thoughts- This is not me or is not endorsed by me. Then just let it go. There's a lot of trash floating around the psychic realm. Observe your schadenfreude if any shows up  and just give it a good look over. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It's just a shadow in one's awawreness that keeps one in a form of spiritual sleep.  (Kenosis - Letting go.)

  Maurice Nicoll taught that all negativity leads eventually to violence unless the octave is reversed. The way he unpacks the parables of The New Testament in a deeply meaningful way. It would be hard to argue with him. He's dead anyway or his physical body is. It expired about seventy years ago. To Interpret the parables of The New Testament metaphorically they begin give understanding. Literally interpreting them makes for confusion.

The first initiation in this Work, called esoteric Christianity, is realizing You are not it (the body).

The second initiation is the expression of the individuality-data of the causal body. This is when one has individuated or dealt with the superego and childhood conditioning which resvolves issues and relations and with our childhood caretakers. Usually one's parents.

I listened to Leo's last video on making distinctions early this morning and enjoyed it. Think I'll listen-to/watch it again this evening.

Sunday mornings is when Dr. Rosen sends out his mini column. 

 

When Less is More
by Dr. Jim Rosen
©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen
 

    The less you try to push happiness into your life, the more happiness you actually feel.  Life is filled with these paradoxes, with these concepts that seem contradictory yet speak the truth.  Today we consider a few of them: The more you focus your attention on enjoying today, the more certain you feel about your ability to handle the future.  The more insecurity you are able to tolerate in the world out there, the more secure you feel within yourself.  Each time you realize that you can only be who you are, you grow and who you are seems to expand.  When you allow yourself to be the unique individual that you are instead of trying to conform or fit in, you discover that other people like you and accept you the way you are.  When you blame other people for your problems, the problems only get worse.  When you accept responsibility for your problems, you want to correct them and you are able to do so.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

"We're all good little Republicans when we're 8 years old."- Ken Wilber refering to the concrete operational stage of psychological development.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I guess I should 'out myself' for no longer maintaining the discipline of a twice a day, 20 minute Centering Prayer meditation practice. Had about a three year run in doing it twice a day. I'm not going to make a commitment to immediately return to it.

In my Inquiry, I observed some spiritual ego (pride) connected with being a twice a day meditator. A crow in peacock feathers is all I am at times. Can't decide if a crow in peacock feathers corresponds to Super Idiot or possibly more to Square Idiot. Probably both and also the lofty state/stage of the Swaggering Idiot.

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot Crows are smarter than peacocks though. 

I just did something similar with meditation, dumped it and was miserable so I went right back to it. I figure I'll just take it off my good habits list and add it to my addiction list and see how that feels for a while. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

16 hours ago, mandyjw said:

 

@Zigzag Idiot Crows are smarter than peacocks though. 

I just did something similar with meditation, dumped it and was miserable so I went right back to it. I figure I'll just take it off my good habits list and add it to my addiction list and see how that feels for a while. 

 

 

@mandyjw It's good you have a frame of reference that flexible! I may consider that approach. ?

Edited June 3, 2020 by Zigzag Idiot
Typo

[Zigzag Idiot]

From my favorite Almaas book - Facets of Unity

 

The Substance of One's Consciousness Looks Like Daylight

What determines whether a soul has basic trust? Basic trust is the effect on the soul of a particular aspect or quality of Being that we call Living Daylight. We call it this because if one's perception is subtle enough to visually see and kinesthetically feel the substance of one's consciousness, it actually looks like daylight, and is felt as an alive consciousness. It is experienced as something boundless, in the sense that it is not bounded by one's body but rather is experienced as something that everything is made of. It is a universal sense of presence in that it pervades everything and is everywhere. The first level of experiencing it is to perceive that it is everywhere; the second level is to see that everything comes out of it; and the deepest level is to know that everything is made of it. At this deepest level, everything in the universe is seen to be originating in, bathed in, and constituted by Living Daylight. 

Facets of Unity, pg. 33 

Vanity is the Specific Blockage Against the Channel of Living Daylight

The more you get in touch with the helplessness, the more you might also get in touch with a specific physical blockage against it, which is the same thing as holding on to the delusion of vanity, of separate doership. This blockage is a specific holding at the anterior fontanel (at the front of the head) which blocks the channel of Living Daylight. When we see through this delusion and surrender our striving and our belief in it, this channel opens up. Then we can experience the beginning of real holding, the beginning of blessing as a descent of light that is love. This loving light expresses the action of Being as it melts the rigidities and fixations of the soul. When this occurs, we see that vanity is the specific blockage against the channel of Living Daylight, because in believing in yourself as a separate doer, you are taking God’s place. In other words, vanity and striving are reflections of the position that one does not need real holding. You feel that you can do it on your own and so you don’t need nourishment—whether human or divine. It also means that you believe that you do not need grace, and therefore block it. Grace is the descent of Living Daylight, specifically in regard to dissolving boundaries, so it allows us to be held by the universe and to trust in it. When you connect with this level of reality, the degree of holding in the environment ceases to be an issue. The environment that allows us to dissolve is Being itself, and when we connect with that dimension of reality, we feel held no matter what situation we are in.

Facets of Unity, pg. 283 

[Zigzag Idiot]

2 1/2 minutes