Zigzag Idiot and the ladder of Objective Reason

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

A lot of people who misunderstand me would say that I would argue with a stump. What they don't realize I Im just a friend to the stump enguaging in conversation and playing the role of devils' advocate.

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

I've been in non linguistic state of awareness the last couple of days. It's not objectless or non conceptual but there seems to be a higher than normal percentage of those conditions.This hasn't been a continual nonliguistic state either. When it happens,  It's the place of no words. Hopefully in a day or two I can write some words about the place of no words,,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

                            Linguistic awareness is maybe synonymous with narrative consciousness 

 

“The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - from Cynthia Bourgeault's book-

 Is Being is more than a combination of thinking and feeling? What is awareness in relation thinking and feeling? Being human means having a body to sense the physical world. To halt the flow of narrative consciousness and experience being is to encounter the oceanic experience, a simple love of existence itself. More tuned into context rather than content. Balance mind with more heart, perhaps.

 

So I've had this song stuck in my head lately during periods of narrative consciousness. 

song lyrics-

you can count on me ,,,

you can count on my love,,,

 

My Inquiry has shown me the complete opposite and although the inspiring tone is felt when enjoying the song. The super ego then attacks with - "yeah, you know how you really are, selfish",,,, talk high ideals and don't deliver,,,

Its not an easy thing to sit with, the Truth.

 

Another quote by Maurice Nicoll concerning the subject of narrative consciousness-

Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683.

Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time.

Two a day Centering Prayer helps me maintain that space within the hedge and the gate. Kenosis- Letting go or emptying the mind. Sweeping the auditorium stage of the mind. Mind as element of awareness for allowing an uncluttered space,,,?

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

I wish I understood Astrology better. I intuit something going on here. We're still in a Mercury retrograde period for a couple of more weeks.

Nearly all my planets are stacked up in the 8th house which is ruled by Mercury. I'm not even sure if I phrased that right.

https://www.astrologyhoroscopereadings.com/mobile/mobile-2019-mercury-retrograde-calendar.html

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Self Actualization journal can be a good tool.

They can serve to highlight our discontinuity of consciousness. The call to awaken is louder when the dream we are living turns into a nightmare. It's not an easy task to stay present. 

For all the silent lurkers out there reading who have considered starting a Journal,,,, Do it!

Just start one,,,,,, Only add to it when you decide to.

Use a journal to help you stay present.

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Years ago out of the blue I said to my mother. "You know, stupid people don't realize they're stupid." It was one of the times I her remember being awestruck, in a sense. She Even quotes me on that on occasion through the years as she did at a Sunday dinner a couple of weeks ago.

At the time I was mostly saying it in reference to someone else but also felt the tinge of how it also applied to me. I'm not just talking about intellectual intelligence but also emotional. I personally am most afflicted with a lack of social intelligence but primarily when there's more than 3 people. Chances are if I'm suddenly in a group of people, my Aspergers switch gets turned on, as a way to express it. These Aspergers type symptoms It would seem to fall under the category of emotional intelligence but it doesn't seem that way with me. I love connecting to people one on one and feel pretty solid about intuiting things about them if their in my presence. Especially more so here in the past couple years. Crowds just make me uneasy.

Realizing my stupidity I have come to realize has deeper layers. Like passive aggressiveness, and schadenfreude I have found deeper layers to. This has meant finding forgiveness for myself when I run into some of this stuff. The opening of Leo's Conscious Politics started off with a couple of quotes that reminded me of the valuable capacity to forgive or apologize to others when appropriate.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Watched this yesterday. It's good.

Edited August 1, 2019 by Zigzag Idiot

[Zigzag Idiot]

                                                                                  If

If I could only write a 2/3's long page paragraph that would make people lose their minds in bliss. That's my dream.

That is something I've repeatedly thought about over the years. After having gone through the impermanent bliss states of good relationships and sex, alcohol buzzes, cannabis highs, successes in occupation, or the magical-ness of other substances. Also after making it thru deficient times of depression, suicidal-ness, dread, shame, hatred of self and others, and generally experiencing life on earth as consisting of several actual low middle layers of hell realms. 

But this state of being that I talk about conveying to others through the threshold of God Realization is not one I have permanent attainment of. As only a seeker of truth myself, the memory of the experience of there being no problems and nothing is wrong in a fully present state and also a  brief connection with the voice of continual revelation. But perhaps before my Automaton wears down and konks out, and if an opening and reconnection does happen to produce a bridge of words in the form of that 2/3 page paragraph. That would fulfill one of my wildest dreams.

Everyone who had an IQ over 80 regardless of whatever kind of life they had lived when after reading this document would all be overcome with goofy grins. Some others might maybe begin to sing or start taking off their clothes and from that time on the world would be transformed. And those whose IQ were under 80 would be brought up into that realm by the ingenuity of a recently transformed world culture.

That's one of my wildest dreams. Just thought I'd share it. I know many will view this as a symptom of being grandiose but why not? It's a dream. ?‍♂️

[mandyjw]

Love can build a bridge. 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

19 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Love can build a bridge. 

 

 

?

 

Self absorption is how I'm a torture to the world at times. When it ceases, everything is ok.

 

Presence of Being as Absolute Stillness

Peace: It is not an emotional state or merely the absence of conflict; it is rather the presence of stillness, which is an aspect of Essence. It is the Presence of Being as absolute stillness and calmness. This stillness is not experienced as dull or vague, but as an exquisitely alive kind of consciousness. Peace involves the cessation of the torturous ego activity, with its hopes, and desires, efforts and resistances. That is why it is often equated with ego death. Peace is actually both death and life in the same consciousness. 

Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 313

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Martin Butler is telling a deep truth and pissing people off.

Dont watch this if you're depressed or in a bad space.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Just out on Ted Nottinghams channel -

Oh Wow! Too many synchronicities,,,,,,,  This guy is practically in my backyard, from Missouri. A transformed former evangelical Protestant.

Orthodox Christianity through the desert Mothers and Fathers,,,,,, The backbone of today's Contemplative Christianity.

 Comments welcome.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desert_Fathers

 

[DrewNows]

@Zigzag Idiot I don’t know much but I do know it really spoke to me specifically toward the end. I was turned away from Christianity so parts of the video were a little triggering but thats a good thing and I liked the stories and synchronicities as you said 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Thanks @DrewNows Glad you liked it.

This morning when I watched this I was a little blown away. Still am, in a way.  Hippie turned evangelical turned mystic. There are more of these lineages from eastern Christian Orthodoxy than I was aware of. This mystic branch of Christianity looks just like the Sufis, the mystical branch of Islam. Each heavy into meditation.

I think the most commonly known form of Christianity has built triggers into many of us through unconscious conditioning. Shame triggers,,,, The idea of being stained by sin, which is a false premise. ACIM also basically teaches this is why we unconsciously psychologically project onto others. This inner shadow needs for there to be a scapegoat when no scapegoat is actually needed. It perpetuates shadow and causes people to feed on negative emotions. This of course is based on my interpretations,,,,

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Thanks @Marc Schinkel

One which helped turn a light on for me was:

[DrewNows]

18 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

The idea of being stained by sin, which is a false premise. ACIM also basically teaches this is why we unconsciously psychologically project onto others. This inner shadow needs for there to be a scapegoat when no scapegoat is actually needed. It perpetuates shadow and causes people to feed on negative emotions. This of course is based on my interpretations,,,,

This is really interesting. Parents can instill it in us as well even without being directly related to sin and Christianity. What is ACIM? 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

  @DrewNows ACIM is an acronym for A Course In Miracles 

https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/

[Zigzag Idiot]

                                                                                             Cynicism 

Cynicism has been one of my biggest stumbling blocks. For a long time I was really blind to how I couldn't let go of lumping all church people together and reffering to them as shit for brains and things along that line. Not very nice,,, There is still a bit of that in me if I don't watch myself.

A second uncle of mine is one of the most patient and  good natured people I have ever known. A genuinely good person and also a devout Church goer. It was thinking of him that I would feel guilty because of my nasty automatic judgement and label of Church people. My cynical attitudes always resulted in getting that dirty inner feeling that kept my walls up. Even years after I read The Power Of Now for the twentieth time I stayed blind to my cynicism and the trouble it always caused me. As a conterphobic six on the Enneagram of personality, doubt, and always playing Devils advocate describes my relations and interactions with others. I used to feed on this energy and not realize what I was doing. 

Becoming more practiced with letting go of grievances toward others has helped. Also the willingness to be honest with self observation and Inquiry. Still work to be done though,,,,,,

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

The Heart is Nothing but the Mind Filled with Love

The heart, obviously, is very important here, but we need to free the heart. Most of the time the heart is dominated by the perspective of object relations. We experience various feelings and emotions according to our psychodynamic history. Actually, the heart is nothing but the mind filled with love. The heart gives fullness to the concepts of the mind. So the mind and the heart are not separate things. They’re one thing. Love and thinking are one thing. Both the mind and the heart need to be freed from the perspective of the physical world. The heart is freed from object relations by arriving at
non-attachment.

Diamond Heart Book Five, pg. 287

 

The following quote disturbed me the first time I read it. Over time it has become clearer.

 

Real Relationship Means to Manifest the Courageous Heart

A person who does not have a heart cannot hate, cannot be angry, cannot be hurt, cannot be jealous. Without love there is no such thing as jealousy, hurt, fear, hatred, or anger. All of these things are reactions to the absence of love, to the blockage of it, to the non-perceiving of it. To be aware of the real relationship means that there is always awareness of love. This never goes, in any relationship. There is always the lovingness, and love has understanding in it. Love has forgiveness and acceptance in it. Love has compassion, appreciation, pleasure, happiness, strength, and gratitude. All these are elements of love, and it is there all the time; it is part of our nature. The courageous heart is the heart that is always present, regardless of what happens. If your heart is present only if good things happen, your heart is not yet free, not actualized. You are still a coward, still afraid. You have a heart, but not yet a courageous heart. So to have a true relationship, a real relationship, means to manifest the courageous heart.

Diamond Heart Book Four, pg. 199

 

Law of Three has three elements:  active - passive and neutralizing forces

In the right blending of three a new arising is produced

Humanity is third force blind say the seers. Blind to neutralizing force.

 

May the force be with you