Zigzag Idiot and the ladder of Objective Reason

[Zigzag Idiot]

                  What’s at the heart of actualizing one’s potential 

I’m a rogue student of different approaches to self understanding. There’s a commonality I’ve notice between Emerald’s use of Jungian psychology in her Shadow Work program to that of Almaas’s Ridhwan school and also Dianetics/Scientology. 
One commonality is the ability to internally face uncomfortable aspects of oneself through recall and thoroughly do so until you see, in a historical sense, your own innocence. This allows you to see the inherent innocence that is present within everyone you meet. 
 

This is an email sent to me by Emerald. It is something worth pondering for those who are on the journey.

Here's another Shadow Work Tip to help you along with your Inner Work journey.

Today's Shadow Work Tip is...

"Integrating your Shadow requires developing emotional proximity to the Shadow Aspect you're trying to integrate."

When we repress parts of ourselves to the Shadow and go unconscious to parts of our personality, one of the main reasons we do this is because the emotions those Shadow Aspects are dealing with are difficult and over-whelming to be present with.

There are four main reasons why we repress aspects of ourselves: preserving an identity, preserving a worldview, coping with trauma, and coping with unmet needs. 

With the latter two (coping with trauma and unmet needs), the reason why we go unconscious to these parts is because it's very difficult on our nervous system to be present to the intensity of trauma-based emotions and the feelings of despair and desperation associated with unmet needs.

So in order to avoid these intense emotions, a few things happen.

The first thing that happens is that the Nervous System shuts down the processing of those intense emotions and stores them away in the body. Then, the mind and body work together to keep us from becoming conscious of those unprocessed feelings that reside in the Nervous System.

Then simultaneously, the psyche fragments off the part of the personality that bore the brunt of the trauma or bears the brunt of the unmet need. And we go unconscious to all the memories, wants, needs, desires, strengths, wisdom, and perspective of that aspect. 

This is how our Shadow Aspects get split off as autonomous agents that have wants, needs, and agendas that can (and often do) clash with the wants, needs, and agendas of the Conscious Personality.

So, if we want to integrate our Shadow Aspects... we must be able to (gradually) sit with the emotions that the Nervous System has shut down. 

I call this emotional proximity. Being able to have emotional proximity with a Shadow Aspect means allowing yourself to sit with the emotions that a Shadow Aspect is experiencing.

For example, let's say that I experienced an overwhelming amount of shame that created a trauma in my Nervous System around that experience of shame. And this caused an aspect of my personality to be relegated to the Shadow where it is constantly looping around with feelings of shame and trying to resolve those feelings of shame.

What that means is that in order to become conscious of this aspect... I have to be willing to experience the feeling of shame.

And in order to integrate that aspect... I have to be willing to sit with shame gradually over a longer period of time. It is with the gradual, slow, and gentle experiencing of shame over time and a willingness to be with that shame that will start to process the shame.

This in turn will make it easier and easier to be with my Shadow Aspect that's dealing with shame.

And once the shame has been processed, this renders the repression obsolete and there is a reintegration that occurs.

Now, this process of sitting with uncomfortable and overwhelming emotions should be taken gradually and slowly. The Nervous System can only handle so much at a time. And the reason why the repression occurred in the first place is because the Nervous System got overwhelmed and an aspect got repressed as a result.

So, we never want to rush the process of sitting with emotions... and we never want to bit off more than we can chew.

But if we gradually sit with our uncomfortable emotions over time while remaining in a state of emotional regulation, this is what's necessary to integrate many of our Shadow Aspect.

I hope this Shadow Work Tip is helpful to you!

Best Wishes,
Emerald

P.S. Are you interested in learning more about Shadow Work? If so, you might want to check out my Shadow Work Self-Study Course which is a self-paced program that's designed to provide deeper clarity and practical tools to people who are on a Shadow Work Journey so that they can integrate their Shadow Aspect without all the confusion.

If you'd like to integrate your Shadow WITHOUT all the confusion,click this link to learn more about the Shadow Work Self-Study Course!

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[Zigzag Idiot]

Some of my I-CHING consultation from last night.

[tsuki]

I felt an urge to check in after a long absence and seeing you here, still chipping away at it, makes me feel all warm. Hi my dear friend!

Edited December 1, 2023 by tsuki

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 12/1/2023 at 3:53 AM, tsuki said:

I felt an urge to check in after a long absence and seeing you here, still chipping away at it, makes me feel all warm. Hi my dear friend!

 @tsuki  Hi friend! Good to hear from you. I would enjoy seeing you journal here again if you decide to,,,,.

Hope all is well,,,,

[Zigzag Idiot]

Poetry by Arnold Keyserling

 

Truth

Only that truth which is recognized by all can become a fellow-being.

You should grow up around your grievous mistakes like a tree, and let them be, until one day they become a part of your strength, and they no longer hinder your ascent.

Thinking is a force, feeling leads to new motivations.

Remain receptive to both and truth will become attainable.

Truth is that knowledge which becomes one with being.

You will become one with being when all of your burdens and loves, objects and fears, sorrows and joys have found their place in the whole.

 

Sorrow

No one would make the decisive step without sorrow and doubt.

But taking that step has nothing to do with sadness.

It is shed like the skin of a snake.

The darkness is able to generate the right reason, one more difficult, but also better, than the next.

But it will not always be so.

Some day love will shine upon you.

Then sorrow will simply be the undertone of the resulting harmony.

The path is there from the very beginning.

Sometimes it is easier, sometimes harder.

But one thing is essential: the depth emerges from the strength of sorrow.

Without sorrow there is no course; without the course the path is not passable.

Mourn – not over the self – but over what is yet to be done.

Each day brings further sorrows, and eventually you will reach the original cause of sorrow.

Then you can finally begin the ascent back.

Rejoice in your sorrow, for the darkness will not remain with you much longer.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Names that are difficult to pronounce
 

• Englebert Humperdinck 
• Tod Rundgren 
• Itzhak Bentov
• Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 
• Knecht Ruprect 
• Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff

[MuadDib]

The schadenfreude is strong with this one.

[MysticalSnow]

Still here. Awesome.

[Zigzag Idiot]

Slept fitfully last night. Had a vivid and interesting dream right before I woke. Listening to the schizophrenic voices in my head as I sit here. They are singing a song like most always and that’s okay. I know how to multitask. Time to get out of the bed and go fix some oatmeal. Nearly every morning I have some oatmeal with my sugar and margarine with a pinch of salt and cinnamon.

Good morning everyone.

[Zigzag Idiot]

A wannabe passivist with an interdimensional warlock starter kit

I'm captain Oblivious much of the time.

Moreso when my attention is concentrated and drawn away from me rather than directed at a focal point. Two days ago, while working on a project outdoors, a mind flash occurred that added to a previous insight/concept. As G. once stated. As soon as I realized the sense of this idea, I got up and began to run around the spring, without knowing what I was doing, like a young calf. I've always been this way to a degree,,,. Of being in a world of my own making, excluding the goings-on of my immediate environment. This happens in a number of ways and includes a very distilled, if you will, element of psychological /sensorial projection which takes on a life of its own with characters independent of my volition, who then begin acting on their own. I wonder/postulate that connection is being made with the collective unconscious and perhaps simultaneously the imaginal/causal realm. There's a lot going on here that needs to be sorted out.

This morning after I woke while still laying horizontal. i saw a difficult situation in a different light. There was a felt sense of communication with someone at a distance and simultaneously, a healing. This healing was similar and commiserate with understanding and forgiveness. Nisargadatta's statement comes to mind. "Nothing is wrong anymore".

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

This was an observation about myself that I shared with an online group. It’s the kind of self observation that should be shared here instead of my usual hyperbolic or exaggerated expressions.

—I was cynical and noticed that it perpetuated a subtle sense of guilt. The Commentaries introduced me to the treasures of light-heartedness. To me goofy is equal to being lighthearted. I’ve backslid in the last couple of years and perhaps found the value of letting hatred burn hot and clean instead of repressing the hatred which seems to perpetuate the guilt as well. I’m a work in progress. Sometimes 2 steps forward then 3 steps back.—

The Commentaries mentioned are The Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky by Maurice Nicoll. 
It’s in my understanding and experience that actualizing one’s potential is not an experience of crossing the finish line once and for all ending with an illuminated enlightenment. Falling back into some degree of neurotic condition is usually the rule and will occur for years. Even after a major transformative realization. Because there are many to be potentially realized. 
The practice of sensing one’s feet or of breathing into the belly center. Not holding your gut in like many adults do. Let it relax like a little kid who is free from self consciousness. 
Having excessive internal dialogue and being trapped inside your head is the experience of being a poor bastard with innumerable problems to be solved.  In contrast, having inner quiet is a wonderful experience.

[Zigzag Idiot]

I was advised by someone I respect that Love is something that should never be discussed, I can see the wisdom in the idea,,,,

Let me contradict myself and seemingly disregard that statement with what I’ve expressed before.

Romantic love and infatuation are both instances of love with a small “l”ove. Unconditional Love often means sacrificing one’s own wants and needs. That’s Love with a big “L”ove. 
To hold unconditional Love as a standard to live up to. This does more harm than good. The vast majority of humans are incapable of the state of consciousness that is unconditional Love. It is sometimes ‘touched’ as a state but I’ve never have known a human who lived in the state of unconditional Love as a permanent stage of consciousness.

A quote from Lao tsu comes to mind. “He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know.”

Soooo, with the idea given to me that one should not speak about Love. That is all for now. I’m going to observe myself in the future and see if I ramble on,,,

And now for something different. This guy incorporated the use of a shotgun with his drumming. I get a kick out of his drumming. Truly impressive!

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Preciseness, beneficial, abbreviated and beautiful.

[Zigzag Idiot]

There is a conversation around the idea of AI girlfriend/boyfriend robots. It's an interesting idea but not one that I really want to be an advocate for. The above You tubes are not about that. The covers are clickbait. They are very much worth watching though.  

One of my primary interests in the potential abuse of technology that results in the abuse of human rights and loss of privacy. There is an ironic situation at present. In hindsight I see my total disregard for pc maintenance and safety which would probably allow for potential hacking. if this has happened. Does the idea of being psychologically integrated and individuated make a difference. You bet it does.  Integration and individuation are key elements in actualizing one's human potential. It allows you to express or display your idiot selves without need for defensiveness or justification. An Asterix or perhaps 3-5 belongs with the last couple of statements. 😉

https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/integration

 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/individuation

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

                        DID You know?

It's Ok.

Everything is just Okay.

I don't know anything about what's to come.

The future for all of us may be filled with terror and painful death if humankind does not wise up to the uselessness of war. I can think of nothing sadder than children and the innocent among us facing extreme terror produced by the weapons of modern warfare. 

Did this get too melodramatic?

It's sobering. Perception becomes more vivid when you face your own mortality. When death is near,,,,

The present moment can become a cherished gift. Even if by others I'm perceived as a fool. I'm so thankful I don't care what others think of me.

With no shame. Do your eyes fill with tears? If so, I've entered your heart. or perhaps you've entered mine.

My heart is a perceptual filter used to examine reality. It has a dimensional range. Both vertical and horizontal it seems. Tender and mild at times. Indifferent and cold when it closes up.  Then there is boredom, rage, lust, awe, gratitude and other qualities. My heart is like your heart.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

                 The Work is for losers.                                                            
 

                    Scale of being,,,,

I heard a teacher of the fourth way once say this. A person must be disillusioned with life. The following is from Maurice Nicole’s work. I enjoy his humorous style of speaking which was written from transcripts from speeches given to his work groups.

 

The illusion of doing and knowing

Now let us sketch the person who is full of vanity, self-merit, self-admiration, self-love, self-estimation, self-worthiness, self-conceit, self-importance, self-esteem, self-excitement, and so on. That person is very identified with himself or herself. This person is rich -- "the rich man" (or the rich woman). 

Such people have no idea that they cannot do. This idea would startle them. They also have no notion that they do not know. They are sure they know best. 

They feel depressed only when their vanity meets with a check, or no doubt they feel furious. But they cannot see themselves. They may be very kind so long as they are gratified with thanks and praise. They help the poor, they give money to those in distress, provided they get proper recognition and feel they are properly treated. Such people may be very useful in mechanical life, but in the Work, which is under a reverse sign from life, they may find themselves at a loss.

The Work grows out of our "poorness", not our "richness"

I remember many years ago that some people of this kind who were in the Work decided to get together and make the Work "really go." They felt that it was all too slow and that they could rapidly make it a great success and they no doubt pictured themselves sitting on the platform at some great meeting at the Albert Hall or some such place bowing to thousands of people.

They felt that out of their "richness" -- I am speaking psychologically -- they could enlarge the Work. But it is out of our "poorness" that the Work grows. It is not from the rich personality that the Work grows in us but from the starved and real essence.

If impressions fall on essence you see in a new way. Now a "rich" person, very identified with himself or herself, cannot expect to see things without associations or to get any new impressions falling on essence which is the growing point of a person. That person will live always in associations -- in the past.

Also an opinionated person, a man or woman openly or secretly in love with themselves, and certain of themselves and their virtue, and standpoint, such a man or woman, wholly identified with themselves, will not be able to divide themselves into two. That is, they will not be able to shift their position but must always remain where they are and so what they are in the Scale of Being. Where and what are the same in this scale. That is, the level of being where you are, is also what you are.

If you begin to see yourself passively you begin to see the level of being you are chained down to by the active, self-acting side of you -- the side that calls itself "I" and which, in my case, expects to be "Maurice Nicoll." This side, in everyone, usurps the throne and sits on it.

 

Scale of being,,,, hmm

[Zigzag Idiot]

There seems to be a simultaneously movement of direction in the following poem, by  Dzou'l Noun.

 

All men are dead, except those who know.

All those who know are dead, except those who practice.

All those who practice are dead, except those who act.

All those who act are lost, except those who act with righteous intent.

All those who act with righteous intent are in grave danger.

 

This is what I hear. It speaks of the need to return to beginners mind every day or as needed. 

This is the springboard used to leap out of my grave.

I strive and then I don't strive. Simultaneously observing inward and observing outward at times creates a unified perceptual field, difficult to describe and the more I try to do so, cheapens it.
 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Being independent minded

 

 

             Breakfast

I have my usual mixture of sugar, margarine, salt, cinnamon, and just a little bit of oatmeal and water. I return to my bed and crumble as many chocolate chip cookies as I dare into the bowl to offset the inevitable overabundance of margarine.

Just because I'm into actualizing my potential in terms of realization of awareness and cognition doesn't mean I have to sign on to the idea of proper nutrition. I applaud those who eat in a healthy way and for those who try to do so but sometimes fail. Please excuse me for being a bad example.

Lunch-midday

Gatorade, 3-4 pieces of raisin bread and a couple of chocolate chip cookies or perhaps some fried sausage with 3 greasy fried eggs and a couple of chocolate chip cookies for my sweet tooth.

Suppertime

Salted greasy fried potatoes with macaroni and cheese and 2=3 chocolate chip cookies. Then a bowl of chocolate ice cream at bedtime.

My practice is inquiry. To observe with ruthless honesty when I become negative in my inner world or perhaps seek merit and praise from others. Also, this means not to fall into self-criticism but rather to sit with and observe my weaknesses in regard to emotional negativity and its effects.

 

* Note- Intake of sugar, caffeine and other stuff,,, often produce a greater likelihood of reactivity and the expression of negative emotion.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

 

        Kip demonstrating his salesmanship. 

I can relate to this scene.
 

Uncle Rico- “How much you want to make a bet, I could throw this football over the them mountains.”