I only feel equal to people when I think I’m high IQ/stage yellow

[Roch]

I just realized this when I got into spiral dynamics. Like a lot of people I had a moment where I thought I might be stage yellow. When I thought I was stage yellow I though to myself “Hey, you might have no friends or real achievements, but at least you’re stage yellow. Let those stage blues, oranges and greens live their life. You’re not inferior to them, just on a different stage.” I felt the same when I thought I was high IQ. I can only feel good about being different if it means I’m superior in some way. I don’t even think I felt that much more superior to most people when I thought I was high IQ or stage yellow. No amount of people telling me I’m different, but not inferior makes me feel any better unless I have a high IQ. To me being different or low achieving is failure, but being high IQ or stage yellow kind of neutralizes that failure. So to me being  socially awkward and low achieving is fine when you have a high IQ, but it makes you a failure if your IQ is average. But if you have a normal social life and average to high achievements with an average IQ you’re just a normal person to me. I know IQ and spiral dynamics aren’t the same, but thinking I’m a stage yellow sure reminded me of thinking I’m high IQ.  

[Forestluv]

You’ve got quite the web of attachments and identification there. Start the deconstruction. Look at all the ways the illusory ego is taking ownership of ideas and experiences. Realize that the illusory “me” is constructing self concepts and an identity. 

Observe, recognize and let go.

[Roch]

20 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

You’ve got quite the web of attachments and identification there. Start the deconstruction. Look at all the ways the illusory ego is taking ownership of ideas and experiences. Realize that the illusory “me” is constructing self concepts and an identity. 

Observe, recognize and let go.

What’s a web of attachments?

[Outer]

So take an IQ test?

If you're really focused and well rested:

http://iqtest.dk/

The website is normed on test taking people, so add 7.5 points after your score to get your IQ.

[Roch]

2 minutes ago, Outer said:

So take an IQ test?

If you're really focused and well rested:

http://iqtest.dk/

The website is normed on test taking people, so add 7.5 points after your score to get your IQ.

I did it real life, but I didn’t score well. I wasn’t exactly well rested. 

[Outer]

2 minutes ago, Roch said:

I did it real life, but I didn’t score well. I wasn’t exactly well rested. 

Well your tested IQ depends on your state of mind. If you have a million thoughts while doing the test you can't perform as well if you had none.

[Outer]

In your brain you probably have an overactivation of the default mode network, which is basically the network involved with stories, like self-identity, labels on yourself either  good or bad, and self-referential thinking. In healthy humans its deactivated while they are focusing on tasks. Its possible to deactivate this with medication, psychedelics, improving focus with meditation, self-inquiry etc. Gary Weber completely shut down his default mode network from doing self-inquiry.

For instance do you have a lot of "I/me/mine" thoughts? That's the default mode network activated. By paying attention to your internal thought process you are also activating the default mode network even more. The way to not activate it is to focus on what you're seeing or hearing, and also on focusing on being without thought. Once you've found the goal of being without thought, you can find ways to be without them.

Thoughts can be very pleasurable too though, but like anything pleasurable it possible has its own addiction cycle with tolerance and so on - like drugs.

"Cut off thought by the power of meditation.”

"Think the unthinkable. How to think the unthinkable? Be without thoughts--this is the secret of meditation." and “Being without thoughts is the object of Zen meditation.”

 

Edited December 13, 2018 by Outer

[Outer]

Also against individual IQ worries

https://www.scottaaronson.com/blog/?p=3473

[Forestluv]

26 minutes ago, Roch said:

What’s a web of attachments?

What’s going on in your brain. These are all just ideas. SD is just ideas and concepts. There is no “me” or “you” to take ownership of any knowledge, understanding or experience.

Imagine SD is a beautiful play we are watching in a theatre. Then after the curtain call, your self runs up on stage and starts taking bows.  (which they love to do).

 

[Outer]

7 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

What’s going on in your brain. These are all just ideas. SD is just ideas and concepts. There is no “me” or “you” to take ownership of any knowledge, understanding or experience.

Imagine SD is a beautiful play we are watching in a theatre. Then after the curtain call, your self runs up on stage and starts taking bows.  (which they love to do).

 

Attachments isn't something that goes in your brain, its what goes on without your brain. That is the Free will self. From the uninitiated's perspective.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Outer

[Forestluv]

44 minutes ago, Outer said:

Attachments isn't something that goes in your brain, its what goes on without your brain. That is the Free will self. From the uninitiated's perspective.

It’s probably better to explain it as attachments being within the mind than the brain. Yet, I think it’s close enough for the point I was making 

[lmfao]

@Roch I wouldn't get too hung up on IQ. I've taken two IQ tests on the same day before and it honestly feels like a bit of bullshit tbh. They give you barely enough time to even look at a question, let alone properly take in the details. It honestly felt like a guessing game because of how time restricted it is. I didn't feel like I even had the chance to think because I was too busy just trying to rush through it all. Maybe I have an overactive DMN or am dumb, who knows. Like I walked out of the test just thinking that I didn't feel anything being tested because I had no time to think. Maybe that's how its supposed to be, idk. Even though in real life I'm terrible at English compared to maths (which is backed up by my academic performances), I did a good deal better on verbal sections than non-verbal reasoning sections which makes zero sense to me in the context of my real life experience. 

Other than that though I think @Serotoninluv 's advice is good.

@OuterI like your simple no thoughts explanation of non-duality and mindfulness

Edited December 13, 2018 by lmfao

[Krisena]

I don't really have a solution, just want to say I empathize.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Krisena

[Outer]

23 minutes ago, lmfao said:

I wouldn't get too hung up on IQ. I've taken two IQ tests on the same day before and it honestly feels like a bit of bullshit tbh. They give you barely enough time to even look at a question, let alone properly take in the details. It honestly felt like a guessing game because of how time restricted it is. I didn't feel like I even had the chance to think because I was too busy just trying to rush through it all. Maybe I have an overactive DMN or am dumb, who knows. Like I walked out of the test just thinking that I didn't feel anything being tested because I had no time to think. Maybe that's how its supposed to be, idk. Even though in real life I'm terrible at English compared to maths (which is backed up by my academic performances), I did a good deal better on verbal sections than non-verbal reasoning sections which makes zero sense to me in the context of my real life experience. 

They aren't bullshit but your result might be bullshit.

[Hellspeed]

We are not equal, don't go the path of equallity. Not everyone deserves respect at the end of the day, only Heart. 

[petar8p]

On 12/13/2018 at 4:35 AM, lmfao said:

@Roch I wouldn't get too hung up on IQ. I've taken two IQ tests on the same day before and it honestly feels like a bit of bullshit tbh. They give you barely enough time to even look at a question, let alone properly take in the details. It honestly felt like a guessing game because of how time restricted it is. I didn't feel like I even had the chance to think because I was too busy just trying to rush through it all. Maybe I have an overactive DMN or am dumb, who knows. Like I walked out of the test just thinking that I didn't feel anything being tested because I had no time to think. Maybe that's how its supposed to be, idk. Even though in real life I'm terrible at English compared to maths (which is backed up by my academic performances), I did a good deal better on verbal sections than non-verbal reasoning sections which makes zero sense to me in the context of my real life experience. 

Other than that though I think @Serotoninluv 's advice is good.

@OuterI like your simple no thoughts explanation of non-duality and mindfulness

You can test IQ either by  both complexity of questions, or time restriction.