Not caring = happiness?

[Psychonaut]

Quick question, I have thought about this for about 2 seconds.

 

I have found that I am unhappy when I care about people, girls, goals and things.

I am the happiest and most successful when I don't care at all. Neither about what people think about me and I just do whatever I feel like. Penis.

I just wonder if there is another way, because I'm quite an asshole when I am happy. Penis again.

By not caring I don't mean that I don't work or do what needs to be done. I do that but if it doesn't work then pfff.

 

Interested to hear about your opinions.

[purerogue]

I think it is more of a moral standard problem in your case, have to be mindful about your actions and how it will effect others and being able to see in what state of  mind they are from their actions , expressions would help too. 

Edited December 13, 2018 by purerogue

[Damir Elezi]

I honestly experience the exact same thing. I found that the underlying problem to this for me is my dependency on the opinions of others in general. I'm always holding back and worrying about others people's opinions, so that if I actually let go of that, it's a freeing feeling of happiness. I think the next step woul be not taking our daily tasks, obligations and others people so serious. We can care about everything and still realize that it's just a game. That takes some balance and work though

[Hellspeed]

Real caring is projecting the heart. Helping with money or material things is not real care. Once people realise this that the abundance will come automatically with energy inside. More energy inside more attraction of possibilities. Don't waste time making a living; live in order to gain time. 

[XYZ]

Happiness through self-acceptance feels more genuine than happiness based on automatic emotional feedback. True happiness I found also breeds complacency, if you are happy on the inside no matter what, why bother improving yourself, why bother doing anything? However, when you really do have some shitty circumstances in life that can't really be fixed, internalized happiness can get you through anything, can maintain that blissful state no matter what life and death brings you.

But what you might be experiencing could be arrogance, happiness from an inflated ego, which still seeks external validation. It's a subtle difference, but one way I can tell myself if I'm authentically happy is if I'm totally okay being alone and invisible, un-noticed. If that bothers me and I feel lonely and frustrated when no one is paying any attention to me, then it was superficial happiness, the fragile surface level emotion. I guess the opposite is true too, if you feel really elated by social approval signals, even euphoric sometimes, it's because it feeds the ego. But if you're happiness stays nearly the same, like if for example, a beautiful woman smiles at you, it is grounded happiness with strong roots.

 

[purerogue]

I could say that not caring at all is inflated ego, where only thing that matter is you, depends how you look at it I guess.  

 

[Joseph Maynor]

Not quite!  Happiness is created.  Happiness is an ongoing project.  Not caring is a pipe-dream.  Everybody cares a lot.  Even people who think they lack an Ego still care.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Wyze]

I don't think its so black and white. Not caring about what other people think of you (so you being independent of others) is a healthy mindset; it means that your happiness is coming from within, not from outside. But not caring at all, as in completely don't give a f about someone else' well-being; this is not a healthy way of life. This will only cause you to disconnect from other people.

You should care for people; but be mindful, so you don't over extend yourself.

[Psychonaut]

3 hours ago, XYZ said:

Happiness through self-acceptance feels more genuine than happiness based on automatic emotional feedback. True happiness I found also breeds complacency, if you are happy on the inside no matter what, why bother improving yourself, why bother doing anything? However, when you really do have some shitty circumstances in life that can't really be fixed, internalized happiness can get you through anything, can maintain that blissful state no matter what life and death brings you.

But what you might be experiencing could be arrogance, happiness from an inflated ego, which still seeks external validation. It's a subtle difference, but one way I can tell myself if I'm authentically happy is if I'm totally okay being alone and invisible, un-noticed. If that bothers me and I feel lonely and frustrated when no one is paying any attention to me, then it was superficial happiness, the fragile surface level emotion. I guess the opposite is true too, if you feel really elated by social approval signals, even euphoric sometimes, it's because it feeds the ego. But if you're happiness stays nearly the same, like if for example, a beautiful woman smiles at you, it is grounded happiness with strong roots.

 

Thanks for this. It could be arrogance. 

 

3 hours ago, Damir Elezi said:

I honestly experience the exact same thing. I found that the underlying problem to this for me is my dependency on the opinions of others in general. I'm always holding back and worrying about others people's opinions, so that if I actually let go of that, it's a freeing feeling of happiness. I think the next step woul be not taking our daily tasks, obligations and others people so serious. We can care about everything and still realize that it's just a game. That takes some balance and work though

There seems to be a fine line between caring and not caring. Don't care too much, but don't not care at all. Hmmm lemme think about this....

 

3 hours ago, purerogue said:

I could say that not caring at all is inflated ego, where only thing that matter is you, depends how you look at it I guess.  

 

Yes it is an inflated ego. I score very high on narcissism tests. 

[Brian676]

There are two different types of not caring. Not caring from an apathetic perspective is obviously not happiness. Not caring from a peaceful perspective is. Outwardly, these two states can look rather similar, but from within they are worlds apart. 

[Salvijus]

I don't care about anyone. This is arrogance and ignorance. People will hate you. 

I don't care about myself. This is divine. This is freedom and happyness.

And also what@Brian676 said.

[Echoes]

Caring because you think you have to or otherwise you think you are: arrogant, guilty, egotistical, narcissistic, a bad person => Is not real "caring" because it's based on a feeling of obligation. That's just you faking something and feeling resentful for feeling obliged to be a fake. Caring as obligation and pressure feels like hell.

Caring because you see that everybody is just slowly going to die, lose everything and everybody they love feels like healthy "caring" for me because it's based on compassion. Go to a mall or some crowded place and see that they are all dying, and that they are all aware of it on some level and are deeply terrified of that. Caring as intimate feeling of compassion feels like love.

Why would you want to be in that "asshole-not-caring" state if you deeply see that everybody already has it hard enough behind the social fake facade

Edited December 13, 2018 by Echoes

[Psychonaut]

4 hours ago, Echoes said:

Caring because you think you have to or otherwise you think you are: arrogant, guilty, egotistical, narcissistic, a bad person => Is not real "caring" because it's based on a feeling of obligation. That's just you faking something and feeling resentful for feeling obliged to be a fake. Caring as obligation and pressure feels like hell.

Caring because you see that everybody is just slowly going to die, lose everything and everybody they love feels like healthy "caring" for me because it's based on compassion. Go to a mall or some crowded place and see that they are all dying, and that they are all aware of it on some level and are deeply terrified of that. Caring as intimate feeling of compassion feels like love.

Why would you want to be in that "asshole-not-caring" state if you deeply see that everybody already has it hard enough behind the social fake facade

Nice! Thanks for this 

I will print it and paste it on my door. Too bad the like system has been removed. I'd like the shit out of this otherwise.

[Psychonaut]

Welcome to my door