how do you know if acceptance is just in your mind?

[isabel]

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

thank you

[Forestluv]

Good question. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful from teachers:

Adyashanti: Contemplate: “What would happen if I allow everything in this moment to be just as it is?”

Lisa Cairns: When resistance and indecision arises, ask yourself “Which direction will lead to more contraction? Which will lead to more expansion?” Then follow your higher intuition toward greater expansion - even if it feels uncomfortable.

[isabel]

@Serotoninluv thanks, and I didn't know about lisa cairns so I will check her out too

[MM1988]

Im struggling with this also. I think thoughts like "Im going to accept these emotions now" but its really just a monkey-mind thought in my head, it didnt feel like anything changes and thats how its been for the longest time  for me and it still is.

I found that relaxing my body visualizing the emotion and working more with mental images was a key for me. I was able to truly allow stuff and then you can feel it in your whole body but this is just on my best days.

I think Im an outlier and more left-brained and neurotic than the average person so the usual advice did nothing for me. You need to get this mind-body connection really going and I think for a lot of people, especially women this is not as much of an issue.

Edited December 11, 2018 by MM1988

[DrewNows]

53 minutes ago, isabel said:

how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

There is a recognition of the negative thoughts/feelings

To accept them, stay with them and observe (not judge), what is the focus of these thoughts/feelings?

It is okay to feel good and to feel bad, once we can understand how these feelings come about we can more easily accept them 

with a deeper understanding there may be less thoughts in general (especially those relating to "i") 

so what's left? authentic expression

[isabel]

52 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

Im struggling with this also. I think thoughts like "Im going to accept these emotions now" but its really just a monkey-mind thought in my head, it didnt feel like anything changes and thats how its been for the longest time  for me and it still is.

I found that relaxing my body visualizing the emotion and working more with mental images was a key for me. I was able to truly allow stuff and then you can feel it in your whole body but this is just on my best days.

I think Im an outlier and more left-brained and neurotic than the average person so the usual advice did nothing for me. You need to get this mind-body connection really going and I think for a lot of people, especially women this is not as much of an issue.

 

yes exactly, I think "I accept this" then I think well that's a thought, a thought can't accept a thought and it just goes nowhere

and yes to those best days that you talk about, I have accepted the unacceptable on my best days, but now I'm not sure how that even happened

and I feel doubt, like was that real? or did I somehow just trick myself and it was all in my mind

[isabel]

@DrewNows thank you, that makes sense

[MM1988]

@isabel yes, been going through just that today. "It was all bullshit I guess", "Ive been deluding myself with this" and thoughts like that. 

The important thing is that you have a reference experience, that you know it can be otherwise, it was not delusion, it was real.

Here are some instructions for these days.

- Lay down alone in a quiet room, no distractions.

- Think "On 3 I will double my relaxation.. 1. 2. 3." several time. On 3 go from head to toe, let go of tension as good as you can.

- locate emotion in the body, imagine holding it in a tight fist. Then let go and imagine it flowing out of your body. Do it over and over, brute force it until something happens.

[isabel]

@MM1988 very cool, I will try that, thank you 

[ground]

3 hours ago, isabel said:

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

No and no.

If you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body then it's just that. What? you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body.

if you don't have resistance to anything then you may suffer nevertheless.

 

 

3 hours ago, isabel said:

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

I don't understand. All is just in your mind, be it negative thoughts, feelings, acceptance or resistance/rejection.

 

3 hours ago, isabel said:

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

Acceptance it just letting go of resistance.

 

 

Edited December 11, 2018 by ground

[DrewNows]

this may help you understand resistance 

[isabel]

@DrewNows that was a lot of information packed into a few minutes wow, artwork was enjoyable too thank you

[Aaron p]

23 hours ago, isabel said:

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

thank you

@isabel dont get too attached to termonologies like these mate...do NOT fall into the trap of "searching" for something or "letting go" of something. You cannot search for something if you do not know what it is  your searching for, therefore "searching" brings with it the subconscious idea of what your searching for. And ideas are what we are avoiding here. Nothing outside of the direct experience is true reality. (Note: words/concepts are not direct experience) therefore, regarding your question "what is acceptance" do not accept anything...ask: who is one who is trying to accept? It was observed after all, wasn't it?

Or (my personal favourite)...ask: If this 'trying to accept' were to fade away, would my existence fade away? (Very powerful). It's a tricky one because your not meant to look for anything...

 

The following is the single most important teaching within all of spirituality:

"No teaching, no teacher, no pupil. You are here to find out who you are." 

[isabel]

19 hours ago, ground said:

23 hours ago, isabel said:

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

No and no.

If you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body then it's just that. What? you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body.

if you don't have resistance to anything then you may suffer nevertheless.

 

that I actually thought I had right - because what even is suffering if there is no resistance? pain maybe, but if the pain is accepted then there is no suffering afaik but idk for sure...

oh I think I see what you're saying - what I'm doing wrong is identifying with the "negative thoughts/feelings" and suffering with them 

19 hours ago, ground said:

23 hours ago, isabel said:

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

I don't understand. All is just in your mind, be it negative thoughts, feelings, acceptance or resistance/rejection.

 

I don't know how to say this - there are things that are unacceptable to the mind but you can live with them by doing certain things (that's what I mean by acceptance that is just in my mind)...so what part of you or me is the part that does not see these things as either acceptable or unacceptable?

 

19 hours ago, ground said:

23 hours ago, isabel said:

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

Acceptance it just letting go of resistance.

 

perfect, I see that now, thank you

[isabel]

7 minutes ago, Aaron p said:

@isabel dont get too attached to termonologies like these mate...do NOT fall into the trap of "searching" for something or "letting go" of something. You cannot search for something if you do not know what it is  your searching for, therefore "searching" brings with it the subconscious idea of what your searching for. And ideas are what we are avoiding here. Nothing outside of the direct experience is true reality. (Note: words/concepts are not direct experience) therefore, regarding your question "what is acceptance" do not accept anything...ask: who is one who is trying to accept? It was observed after all, wasn't it?

Or (my personal favourite)...ask: If this 'trying to accept' were to fade away, would my existence fade away? (Very powerful). It's a tricky one because your not meant to look for anything...

 

The following is the single most important teaching within all of spirituality:

"No teaching, no teacher, no pupil. You are here to find out who you are." 

 

go to direct experience, and that's instead of trying to learn more ideas and get more explanations?

and you go to direct experience by asking "who is the one who experiences this?" or something like that, basically anything that defines who I really am and what my existence really is?

but if you don't look or search for an answer, then what do you do exactly after you ask the question?

thank  you!

[Hellspeed]

On 11.12.2018 at 6:34 PM, isabel said:

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

thank you

 

Acceptance is felt in the Heart, is the projection of the Heart. 

[isabel]

@Hellspeed yes now that you said that I know that, thank you, I can totally go with that...I will remember that

[MM1988]

@DrewNows This is not the resistance we are talking about here, we are talking about resisting emotions not certain actions.

 

@isabel Its possible to feel the emotional waves coming and not suffering them. But as I said you need a certain level of consciousness and the mind-body connection going for this. People here take it for granted, its simply not possible when you are too much in your head and neurotic.

I dont know WHY it suddenly happened for me but I do kriya yoga daily for about 3 months and I think that might be it because I did nothing else. If it really was the yoga its really a miracle because I just did the practices more or less mechanically and one exact moment something just shifted and more or less stayed that way.

[DrewNows]

On 12/11/2018 at 11:25 AM, MM1988 said:

Im struggling with this also. I think thoughts like "Im going to accept these emotions now" but its really just a monkey-mind thought in my head, it didnt feel like anything changes and thats how its been for the longest time  for me and it still is.

I found that relaxing my body visualizing the emotion and working more with mental images was a key for me. I was able to truly allow stuff and then you can feel it in your whole body but this is just on my best days.

I think Im an outlier and more left-brained and neurotic than the average person so the usual advice did nothing for me. You need to get this mind-body connection really going and I think for a lot of people, especially women this is not as much of an issue.

Nothing changes when you are still identified with the thoughts/emotions

This is where self inquiry and awareness is needed. understanding thought/self to be all one movement 

8 hours ago, MM1988 said:

@DrewNows This is not the resistance we are talking about here, we are talking about resisting emotions not certain actions.

 

Emotions guide actions. It is all part of the same movement/time 

[WelcometoReality]

On 2018-12-11 at 6:34 PM, isabel said:

if you have negative thoughts or feelings in your body, is that resistance?

so if you don't have resistance to anything then you don't suffer, is that right?

but my real question is how do you know if the acceptance is just in your mind?

also, what is acceptance exactly? does it mean that you are in that moment knowing your true self, something like that?

thank you

Acceptance is to allow everything to be as it is. If there is resistance you allow it to be. If there is a negative emotion you allow it to be. If there are thoughts you allow it to be. Just notuce them arise and pass.