Why does it feel like you are avoiding reality if you stop negative thinking?

[MM1988]

I often notice how I go into negative thinking about an issue in my life, and I can clearly see how thinking this shit through over and over brings me nothing, how you never arrive at a solution, how just making yourself feel bad enough about it wont solve anything.

So then I try to stop but its still there in the background. Now other thoughts come up

"What, you just gonna surpress this? This seems unhealthy"

"You really believe by just not thinking about it it doesnt exist?" 

"So what, you are just gonna live in la-la from now on and delude yourself like some crazy person?"

"You are afraid to face reality? You have to align with whats real. This situation is real, find a solution" 

[Rilles]

You dont try to avoid reality, you try to see it more clearly by less clutter in the mind. You might as well think 100.000 thoughts a minute and still not face reality. Thoughts are excellent at distracting you from not doing shit. 

Edited December 11, 2018 by Rilles

[Salvijus]

11 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

So then I try to stop but its still there in the background. Now other thoughts come up

"What, you just gonna surpress this? This seems unhealthy"

"You really believe by just not thinking about it it doesnt exist?" 

"So what, you are just gonna live in la-la from now on and delude yourself like some crazy person?"

"You are afraid to face reality? You have to align with whats real. This situation is real, find a solution" 

I agree with your mind

[MM1988]

@Salvijus yeah but what are you gonna do? You are never going to think away problems. Whats the real solution here?

[purerogue]

What the hell are you talking about , none is talking about not facing problems, but about being calm minded while you do, worrying gives you nothing good, tell me 1 thing that it gives that can help you any way? 

Maybe step out of your own LaLaLa land  and start using brain. 

[Jack River]

The chooser that chooses implies a controller that is in control of the controlled or not in control of what it feels should be controlled. This Implies resistance/attachment/identification(time) and therefore escape. 

[Forestluv]

@MM1988 Good question. I’d say two reasons. First, many minds are conditioned to perceive the workd negatively. For example, conditioned to see people as cynical, untrustworthy. This is embodied as there reality - just “how it is”. To let go of these negative perceptions would feel like avoiding what’s “real”. In a sense, it is. An old paradigm of reality is being drconstructed.

Second, the ego likes to create problems. It keeps the ego actively in the game and relevant. These problems are perceived as real, so when letting go it may feel like avoiding reality.

[purerogue]

Understand, seeing things as they are and being negative about it are 2 completely different things, you do not have to become delusional idiot to see if person has certain traits, it is more of how you perceive it on yourself, does it make you negative, or no, you do not have to change perspective of what is actual, that is if you are not delusional to begin with by assigning traits that are not there. 

Edited December 11, 2018 by purerogue

[Salvijus]

54 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@Salvijus yeah but what are you gonna do? You are never going to think away problems. Whats the real solution here?

I don't know..first of all where have you heard that ignoring all your problems means spirituality.

Stopping negative thinking doesn't mean ignoring the issue. It means dealing with an issue with a smile on your face

But you know... If you try to smile all day then you'll become even further away from reality. 

I would say. In your condition there's probably nothing you can do this very moment that would solve your problems. But in the future if you want to face challenges in life with balance and smile on your face then start investing time on becoming a more balanced, harmonious human being. Either meditation or Yoga or whatever works for you.

If nothing works for you then try sadhguru's Yoga. It works for sure.

[Elysian]

Your mind feels like that would be resistance because it would be, which is likely more unhealthy than the original thought.

You are having low vibrational thoughts because you are operating in a low vibration. When you elevate your vibration to a higher stage, you will begin to have less and less of these lower vibrational thoughts. This is what is happening when someone moves from different stages of SD. It's why a Blue thinks/behaves differently than a Green, and a Green thinks/behaves differently than a Yellow. They are operating within a certain vibrational range that leads to predictable behaviors. The makers of SD and Ken Wilber noticed these shifts in behavior due to one's current vibration and created a model to help people navigate these shifts with some direction.

The real question you should be asking is how do I raise my vibration, and in turn raise into a new stage, where such thoughts/behavior simply dont exist?

Send me a message if you want clear, non-obscure instructions on how to do that.

Edited December 11, 2018 by Elysian
Grammar

[ajasatya]

@MM1988 it's not a different pattern. it's the same toxic self-talk as before.

[MM1988]

@Elysian I doubt that. There are self-confident happy stage blue people and depressed stage green people. And I dont think these are outliers, it seems like a seperate issue.

 

How am I going to get better by getting lost in these thoughts? On one hand I should not surpress them and on the other hand its clearly dysfunctional and I need to get rid of this type of thinking sooner or later. its a complete contradiction.

Edited December 11, 2018 by MM1988

[purerogue]

46 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@Elysian I doubt that. There are self-confident happy stage blue people and depressed stage green people. And I dont think these are outliers, it seems like a seperate issue.

 

How am I going to get better by getting lost in these thoughts? On one hand I should not surpress them and on the other hand its clearly dysfunctional and I need to get rid of this type of thinking sooner or later. its a complete contradiction.

Ofc there are , spiral dynamic has nothing to do with how happy you are.

[Forestluv]

39 minutes ago, purerogue said:

spiral dynamic has nothing to do with how happy you are.

Well, to an extent. I’ve lived within a Red-centered community and a Turquoise-centered community. It was a heck of a lot easier being happy in the Turquoise community. It’s hard being happy when one is constantly worried about being beaten, raped, robbed and killed by gangs and warlords.

[purerogue]

17 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Well, to an extent. I’ve lived within a Red-centered community and a Turquoise-centered community. It was a heck of a lot easier being happy in the Turquoise community. It’s hard being happy when one is constantly worried about being beaten, raped, robbed and killed by gangs and warlords.

Maybe, maybe not, people get used to surroundings and can strive in it, vikings were not afraid of death , or violence, it was their way of life, put people from nowadays in such situation and they would go insane, but we still cry about smallest things. 

[Forestluv]

22 minutes ago, purerogue said:

Maybe, maybe not, people get used to surroundings and can strive in it, vikings were not afraid of death , or violence, it was their way of life, put people from nowadays in such situation and they would go insane, but we still cry about smallest things. 

For sure. I didn't say it was impossible. I think it's just more challenging and unlikely. I definitely met some happy people in a poor 3rd world society I was in. Yet, there was an aura of tension/fear/anxiety in the community. Not just at an individual conscious level - at a community conscious level. It was palatable all over - I literally could not escape it and my baseline anxiety level was higher the entire time I was there. I had never experienced anything like it. When there are continuous fears of people's children being kidnapped, starving, getting robbed, raped and beaten - because it actually happens and could happen to you any day - that is a tough environment to be happy in.  Can one be happy and awaken in such an environment? Yes. Yet I think it's a lot harder. A person would need to be close to Absolute Happiness. To take it one step further, could a person be happy while being beaten or watching their child being beaten by gang members? Yes, but that is entering unconditional Absolute Happiness, which is really difficult to reach. 

[purerogue]

1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

For sure. I didn't say it was impossible. I think it's just more challenging and unlikely. I definitely met some happy people in a poor 3rd world society I was in. Yet, there was an aura of tension/fear/anxiety in the community. Not just at an individual conscious level - at a community conscious level. It was palatable all over. I had never experienced anything like it. When there are continuous fears of people's children being kidnapped, starving, getting raped and beaten - because it actually happens and could happen to you everyday - that is a tough environment to be happy in.  Can one be happy and awaken in such an environment? Yes. Yet I think it's a lot harder. A person needs to be close to Absolute Happiness. To take it one step forward, could a person be happy while being beaten or watching their child being beaten by gang members? Yes, but that is entering unconditional Absolute Happiness, which is really difficult to reach.

Sure, that is why so many great minds existed in times that would seem insane to manage  for us now, take my country for example, every time I am visiting it I fell depression , negativity all around me, but it is farm from having rape, violence problems, just looking at how my grandparents were makes us look pathetic and crybabies, they were strong minded people, who did what they had to do, it is as if no matter how far we get, we will always find something to cry about, because problem is within us , not surroundings.   

 

[Forestluv]

11 minutes ago, purerogue said:

Sure, that is why so many great minds existed in times that would seem insane to manage  for us now, take my country for example, every time I am visiting it I fell depression , negativity all around me, but it is farm from having rape, violence problems, just looking at how my grandparents were makes us look pathetic and crybabies, they were strong minded people, who did what they had to do, it is as if no matter how far we get, we will always find something to cry about, because problem is within us , not surroundings.   

Yes, those are good points I hadn't accounted for. So to integrate your thoughts with mine, perhaps we could say. . . 

There are times and places that was hard living. Yet, people worked hard and honestly and had appreciation for each other and their community. 

Sometimes, an easier life becomes too easy and reduces one's chance of happiness and awakening. Take the internet - it can be a tool to increase one's level of happiness - or a distraction that increases one's misery.

In terms of SD, perhaps one could say the likelihood of happiness is related to the average health of the community stage. For example, I'd say my grandparents grew up in a relatively healthy Blue society and had a better shot at happiness than if they had lived in an unhealthy Blue society.

In terms of scientific social studies, I remember reading there is a correlation of people's perceived state of happiness and the relative wealth/stability of their society. It's not perfect and the correlation collapses once an average salary/stability is met. Yet, for countries that are really poor and unstable, there was a negative correlation with perceived happiness. 

[Joseph Maynor]

The Mind is skewed a bit from being in your best interest.  We have to correct for that.  This is why we have The Paradox of The Mind Being Our Greatest Friend and Our Greatest Enemy.

Edited December 12, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[purerogue]

9 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

For sure. I didn't say it was impossible. I think it's just more challenging and unlikely. I definitely met some happy people in a poor 3rd world society I was in. Yet, there was an aura of tension/fear/anxiety in the community. Not just at an individual conscious level - at a community conscious level. It was palatable all over - I literally could not escape it and my baseline anxiety level was higher the entire time I was there. I had never experienced anything like it. When there are continuous fears of people's children being kidnapped, starving, getting robbed, raped and beaten - because it actually happens and could happen to you any day - that is a tough environment to be happy in.  Can one be happy and awaken in such an environment? Yes. Yet I think it's a lot harder. A person would need to be close to Absolute Happiness. To take it one step further, could a person be happy while being beaten or watching their child being beaten by gang members? Yes, but that is entering unconditional Absolute Happiness, which is really difficult to reach. 

It is everything really , life is made way to easy, way to many things that people are used to depend on, hard to get of attachment , when you have so many things nowadays to get attached to , kids  are already depressed and do not see point of living in early age, when I grew up I did not have much , but just getting out of house and having fun with neighbors  was enough, also so much information to get lost into, or simply to much information which makes people passionless to actually do any of this stuff when they have already seen it all and loads of other problems, but ofc there are some good things and some good things that might happen in long run if action is made to change things.   

Edited December 12, 2018 by purerogue