Heart chakra

[Healingheart]

Hey guys. Would love your opinion on this.

I have stress and pain around my heart. Like just beneath my sternum. A knot feeling.

Doctors have said it is stress. 

Now the thing is, it goes away after cuddling/sex with a person. 

I just have a girlfriend and when I cuddle I feel that feeling dissolving. But when she's gone it's there immediatly.

 

So the solution is probably self love. I've tried it before and I always have an ego backlash where I start to hate others and myself.

How does one develop self love?

[non_nothing]

Fuck yourself

jk.

 

[Anirban657]

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama 

Rama Rama Hare Hare

[Anirban657]

How can you truly love yourself? Who is the one giving you love?

Just give love to Krishna/Jesus/God and miracles will happen

[Dodo]

Giving love to yourself is an unnecessary move. You already have the love that you are giving, so what is the point of giving it in the first place if it's already there to begin with? To give love to yourself there need to be 2 you's - One that is giving and one that is receiving. 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Healingheart said:

Hey guys. Would love your opinion on this.

I have stress and pain around my heart. Like just beneath my sternum. A knot feeling.

Doctors have said it is stress. 

Now the thing is, it goes away after cuddling/sex with a person. 

I just have a girlfriend and when I cuddle I feel that feeling dissolving. But when she's gone it's there immediatly.

 

So the solution is probably self love. I've tried it before and I always have an ego backlash where I start to hate others and myself.

How does one develop self love?

I don't know the answer to your problem but I know that self love is not the answer nor is it ever an answer to anything.

Maybe try visualizing her cuddling when she's not around. 

Edited December 11, 2018 by Salvijus

[peanutspathtotruth]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

I don't know the answer to your problem but I know that self love is not the answer nor is it ever an answer to anything.

Love is THE answer. But not the love we think we know. And yes, self-love is super important. It is not loving your ego, it is loving yourself when you see who/what "you" really are. It is being the love that IS everything which you are. I see myself and many other individuals transform immensely from this insight and its practical results. It is a question of nuance, but love is what is intrinsic in truth. As soon as you see that, your heart will open up.

I'm not here to argue with you. I'm interested to hear why you think it is not an answer to anything? What else is the answer to suffering, anger, sadness, fear? Is it nothingness? Is it more suffering? I'm meaning that very practically as in the OP's question. 

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Healingheart This might help you.
 

 

[Anirban657]

Do reiki 

[okulele]

@Healingheart As @peanutspathtotruth said, Matt Kahn is your man

[Salvijus]

18 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

I'm not here to argue with you. I'm interested to hear why you think it is not an answer to anything? What else is the answer to suffering, anger, sadness, fear? Is it nothingness? Is it more suffering? I'm meaning that very practically as in the OP's question. 

I have nothing against love.

Being loving to others, being full of love, sharing your love. All this is great. It's fantastic.

But loving yourself is the most egoistic, narcissistic, self-obssesed, self-centered, full of yourself thing to do.

Prove me wrong and give me one example of self-love which is not narcissistic.

 

Edited December 12, 2018 by Salvijus

[Aimblack]

@Salvijus self love is the most altruistic thing you can do. All the perceived mistakes in others and wrong doings of others and the less than skillful response we give comes from a lack of loving ourselves. You can only love others when you fully love yourself so much that you need to share it there is no other way it spills over and engulfs everything.  

[PsiloPutty]

Have you tried metta meditation? I send love to myself and others every day with it, and it feels good. When I feel good, I act tenderly and skillfully with myself and others. 

 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Aimblack said:

@Salvijus self love is the most altruistic thing you can do. All the perceived mistakes in others and wrong doings of others and the less than skillful response we give comes from a lack of loving ourselves. You can only love others when you fully love yourself so much that you need to share it there is no other way it spills over and engulfs everything.  

Give me 1 example altruistic self-love

In my understanding self-love is synonimous with self-worship only difference is self worshiping is stronger. But if you do self love very intensly it will become self worship aswell

[peanutspathtotruth]

@Salvijus In my experience, it's the other way around. It's counterintuitive, I also was a little scared in the beginning to love myself fully. But this is the point. It really much depends on what love means to you and where it comes from.

One example: I fuck up in some way, on top of that I'm starting to bath myself in guilt, the spiral goes down. I remember that I can love myself, not to push away the negative feelings but to embrace them, just as I embrace every positive feeling. Loving myself eventually opens up my heart, I am more aligned with truth and I don't try to change my emotional or mental state. It's not about feeling better, it's about seeing the lack of love in the moment I'm being in a self-destructive behaviour. Negativity can only be met with love. In yourself just as much as in everyone and everythign else. There is no other way! If you don't love everything the same, including yourself, you don't know yet what love is. This is not selfish at all. Seeing yourself as an enemy and not being lovable (including by yourself) is a big trap, watch out for that.

Also, whenever I love myself, it is not that I exclusively love my ego, my true Self, my body etc. There are moments when each of those need seperate attention of course. You recognize the truth of love though when it expands out to everything in your perception and everyone around you. It's the opposite of selfishness.

I love you  

[Aimblack]

4 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Give me 1 example altruistic self-love

In my understanding self-love is synonimous with self-worship only difference is self worshiping is stronger. But if you do self love very intensly it will become self worship aswell

Well that is where you are wrong self love is simply extending the same kind of understanding, openness and kindness that you would extend to anybody who is in need like an orphan to yourself. Instead of thinking about it as raising yourself above others try thinking about it as on the same level as the people who are the most in need. 

I used to be (and still am to some extend) very impatient with other people. I tried to take their perspective which works sometimes but my connection with people got WAY better when I realized that I was being impatient with other people because I was impatient with myself and as I started being more patient and loving with myself I automagically became way more patient and loving with other people. 

 

[Salvijus]

@peanutspathtotruth @Aimblack

 

59 minutes ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

One example: I fuck up in some way, on top of that I'm starting to bath myself in guilt, the spiral goes down. I remember that I can love myself, not to push away the negative feelings but to embrace them, just as I embrace every positive feeling. 

The problem is you have a poor self-image and you're suffering because of it and you start self-destructive process. So you think okey I will create a possitive self-image with self-love.

 Possitive self-image will definitely stop the guilt and self-destructive thoughts. Plus it gives you confidence and self esteem so what's the problem? Well here's a problem. It will lead to arrogance, to self-obsession, narcissism. It definitely doesn't lead to love for others that's for sure. Self-obssesed people can't think of anything else then themselfs

The real answer is dropping the negative self-image and positive self-image altogether. No-image. That's way I said self-love is not the answer. It's just decorating your self-image… your ego. And plus if you spend everyday thinking about yourself it will create obssesion with your image. Like those people who watch in the mirror 10times before leaving the house.

 

 

 

 

.......

The moment you say I love myself you will be caring egotistical, personal smell around you.

The moment you say I don't care at all about myself or I don't care how I look or how to be or anything about myself. All I care about is others because I love every being on this planet. You'll be a Jesus. Jesus was not worried how he looks. And that's not because he did self-love, self esteem affirmations. But because he forgot himself absolutely and lived like an offering to the human consciousness. Every breath he took was for others not for himself. This kind of love is amazing. It's divine. But that self-love that I hear everyday everywhere is just decorating your ego so you wouldn't feel bad when you did something stupid.

 

 

 

[Aimblack]

@Salvijus You are mixing up what you think I am saying with what I'm actually saying. Self love doesn't necessarily mean improving your self image. It means understanding that you are worthy of love despite all your failings. Loving yourself doesn't have to be egoistical. It's simply the realization that everybody is deserving of your love including yourself.

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Aimblack said:

 

I used to be (and still am to some extend) very impatient with other people. I tried to take their perspective which works sometimes but my connection with people got WAY better when I realized that I was being impatient with other people because I was impatient with myself and as I started being more patient and loving with myself I automagically became way more patient and loving with other people. 

 

What does being impatiant to yourself even mean?

So you don't like listening to other's perspectives. Then you started loving yourself. And suddenly you like other people's opinions ?

Sorry I don't see the connection. How does loving yourself. Make you a better listener?

Unless you're genuinely interested in other people. Only then you can joyfully listen to what they have to say. What does self love have to do with this? 

Lets say I hate myself but I'm very interested in someone's opinion. Will my self hatered stop me from being interested in other people's perspectives? Not at all. It has no impact on my interest in other perspectives.

Actually the more self-obsessed self- loving you are. The harder it will be to listen to others.

Edited December 12, 2018 by Salvijus

[Aimblack]

@Salvijus Being impatient with yourself means getting frustrated at yourself for some reason, it means being a perfectionist, it means having ridiculous standards for yourself.

I'm not only talking about listening to their perspective. I mean feeling what they might be feeling and seeing what they might be seeing and realizing that whatever they are feeling or seeing is in some way legitimate. The way that works for me is seeing that same dynamic on some level in myself and accepting it in myself. So when I see it in others it isn't an issue because I get why and how their reactions work.

Just like I can try to take your perspective right now and try to contrast it with the way I felt before.