What I Have Learned About Dating Women In My Age Range

[Will]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

In my view, being wise and what I call "spiritually mature" is about being able to determine which paradigm is most effective for proper functioning and expansion in a given situation. So, it means being able to hold higher truths such as "All is one." at the same time as using practical truths such as "I am a separate person and it's important for me to set proper boundaries and to respect myself." which seems to contradict one another.

id say im resonating with this too..

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

situation that makes happiness, fulfillment, and peace impossible or nearly impossible

in the big picture this may not be necessary for everyone.. I guess we represent this perspective for those who wish it.. I would never suggest we are doing something that people need to do.. Im gather your pretty similar..

Please don't take me as ever correcting or educating I am more exploring and resonating /expressing what comes up within me.. its just interesting . I value your view point and am trying hard not to alter your input..

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

is the pursuit of positive emotions

I don't know about that.. there are times when exploration are prime.. I would not say exploration is a positive emotion.. it has different qualities tho..

id prefer to classify humans as seekers.. all of us are seeking something.. quiet,riches,education, status,peace.. its just a residual of being dualistic.. and that's ok..

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

enduring unnecessary emotional suffering

suffering exist only as far as we maintain dualistic thought's and actions. as long as we keep judging and categorising things we suffer... suffering is ok to though.. we are allowed to suffer but the point is we don't have to if we don't want to...

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

maintaining a relationship

This hints that there is some clinging to desire.. which ultimately is suffering.. theres no getting away from it.. the only relationship we do not suffer is one we are not in.. so its not about who we are in a relationship with .. its about how conscious we are and how we flow in any particular situation.. i.e. things can be our worst nightmare or our greatest salvation.. it just depends on us..

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

At that point, you've become attached to a means to get your desired emotions that won't produce to you the emotions that you want

Yeah, relationships to allot of people seem like a mutually beneficial arrangement, rather than what it could be a flow... in general what we seek from our partners these days is something we have a lack of rather than just flowing with what they are and making art..

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

then you would probably leave the harmful situation rather unceremoniously and put yourself in a situation that didn't have as much struggle and had more benefit for you and the other person. 

Well possibly, leave is a definite option but youd see it differently to and possibly act quiet differently too.. which could transcend the friction altogether..

 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I was in a dysfunctional relationship

from another perspective,, no disrespect,, you where in a situation that was dysfunctional because you where incapable operating it in a functional way.. im not blaming you or the other or the situation as a whole.. im just saying if you where enlightened how diff it would have been..

please im not condoning people stay in situations they cant handle .im just saying, pointing the finer is pointless and missing opportunity for you to grow.. you don't have to if you don't want to.. but no is forcing you to.. 

I just don't thinks its acceptable to point finger and lay blame and walk away from something wit no responsibility.. there is soooo much we can do in every situation if we choose. the other and the external world is almost irrelevant..

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

And I stayed because I thought that I was helping him with his demons and loving him unconditionally. But this wasn't so.

I totally agree, all you can do is focus on you.... if he felt sad and depressed,, most people try and cheer him up and fix his situation... im suggesting turn that on its head and see how that makes you feel and change yourself instead.. accept him for who he is, then all of a sudden you don't need to fix him and he does not feel that pressure from you that he needs fixing.. this is just the start..

hope im explaining that correctly..

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I didn't want to see him hurting

Accept he is hurting and be ok with that..

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I was helping him

No need to help him.. he is doing his own thing,, who to say he needs helping.. id say letting him be would be more unconditional

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I was so attached

Let go a bit, and See the situation as the miracle of life.. we don't really know if that situation is ultimately bad.. why would we add our view to it and makes it even worse..

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I couldn't see

At th time you probably where allowing it.. but that's ok.. you see it now and don't need to in the future  

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

harm I was doing to myself

If you opened this up youd probably see this statement is  full of more stuff you could change about yourself.. I think you get the picture??

 

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

avoid dysfunctional relationships

Or realise there are no really dysfunctional relationships, just as there is no failure.. it realy depends on your perspective and judgement..

 

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

no need to make yourself suffer

I agree, but some people cant see that.its part of there narrative they think they are stuck in..

me included..

 

 

 

That was long.. hahaha.

Thanks for the discussion, it was very,....  resonant..

xx

[Emerald]

@Will If suffering is unnecessary, why would you consciously choose it? It isn't like it's any more divine, beautiful, or perfect than any other thing. Everything is perfect from the ultimate perspective, so why not choose something functional and healthy from the finite perspective? The finite perspective is not invalid or even less valid than the ultimate perspective. You are not required to choose dysfunction just because it sounds like it jibes more with higher wisdom. I'm afraid that you're engaging in spiritual bypassing and you're going to talk yourself into believing that you should stay in negative situations or create negative situations in your life because you expect yourself to be unconditionally accepting because "Everything is divine and perfect." However, if you do that, you're just going to end up with a lot of issues that will rob you of your peace. Don't expect yourself to have the equanimity of a Yogi that's practiced for 30 years while still having the foolishness to remain in a bad situation on the basis of some intellectual understanding of the truth.

But emotions are always what motivate actions, from large to small. For example, a child eats candy because they want the feeling of enjoying the taste. Someone who hates their job, goes to work because they want the feeling of financial stability that their paycheck give them. A philanthropist donates to good causes because other people's happiness makes them feel happy and they like the feeling of contribution. A serial murderer kills people to feel pleasure or as an escape from numbness. A person decides to be in a dysfunctional relationship because they crave the emotions that the relationship gives them. A consciously or unconsciously dishonest seeker seeks enlightenment because they want to have the status of being enlightened and to feel more novel/important/wise than others. Or a seeker seeks enlightenment because they want the emotions that enlightenment and its byproduct convey.

A person who is trying to live by higher wisdom in all situations does so because they either want to feel good about themselves for being wise or they hope that it will bring them closer to enlightenment (either the emotions related to "wise" status as mentioned above or the emotions relating to enlightenment itself). But it's a trap. It won't do this. It's a cul de sac on the path. 

[Will]

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

 If suffering is unnecessary, why would you consciously choose it?

all I am saying is that we may not really understand why we are here.. Or how this place works.. It could be something that needs to happen or something that another aspect wants to happen or in order to maintain balance we nee to accept whatever happens to us  ect ect ect.. we dont know and cant ever know probably.. so we really only have one choice.. accept and go with it.. do the best we can....

I mean do we reallly!!??? want guarenteed sucess?? maybe diversity seeems more compelling to our ultimate being..

 

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

why not choose something functional and healthy from the finite perspective

I suppose we can do that too... both are great.. its like you have two paths to go down.. you infintie and been down the good path a billion times, wouldnt you like to know whats down the other path?? I mean seriously, done consciously and willingly I think all expereince could be magical. Just because we cosniously choose a path of challenge does not need to mean we are sadists or masochistic. does it??

 

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

I'm afraid that you're engaging in spiritual bypassing and you're going to talk yourself into believing that you should stay in negative situations

I prefer to maintain that making the judgement is not valid.. If its true and we really do have some control to stay on the predictable shiny good , white side... I guess maybe you could be right.. I guess i am a bit compelled to do some exploration and really face my fears... 

I think  thats totally different to believing your stucke there and or deserve it..

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

"Everything is divine and perfect."

Yes including being in tricky situations.. why is white sooooo good.. black is also part of it ... 

I guess the only thing is that to make it more authentic.. we have to forget we are devine and really believe the game we are in.. other wise we cant fully experience our limits..

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

equanimity

I totally think this is exactly what is needed when facing being in all situations.. rather than with an intent to suffer or to make other suffer. go there with complete equanimity and see what happens... reallly become the experience.. dont try and fix it.. its possibly gods hardest work.. to reach into ones dark resesses and be compassionate and unjudging..

 

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

But emotions are always what motivate actions

I dont know yet. im still trying to work this out .. maybe I cant but im compelled to try.. as deep down.. secretly I want the goodies of life too..

 

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

A philanthropist donates to good causes because other people's happiness makes them feel happy and they like the feeling of contribution. A serial murderer kills people to feel pleasure or as an escape from numbness. A person decides to be in a dysfunctional relationship because they crave the emotions that the relationship gives them. A consciously or unconsciously dishonest seeker seeks enlightenment because they want to have the status of being enlightened and to feel more novel/important/wise than others

hmmm. Im not sure.. does not sound very equanimous.. there must be a way of accepting and being compassionate with our shadow selves, after all It could be that every dark force comes from a basis of Love.. im not sure i fully believe that all mass murderers do it from a basis of greed.. i think if we where to dig down further we would find some form of love there.. I think  there is a belief out there that darkness and evil exist.. but I have a feeling it does not and that its this belief that it exists that is the evil itself... and that we can forgive and be compassionate in every circumstance...

Behind every mass murderer is a beautiful creation of love and joy, locked in false belief?? 

No sure if i am explaining right..

 

[Emerald]

41 minutes ago, Will said:

 im not sure i fully believe that all mass murderers do it from a basis of greed.. i think if we where to dig down further we would find some form of love there.. I think  there is a belief out there that darkness and evil exist.. but I have a feeling it does not and that its this belief that it exists that is the evil itself... and that we can forgive and be compassionate in every circumstance...

Behind every mass murderer is a beautiful creation of love and joy, locked in false belief?? 

No sure if i am explaining right..

 

I never said that mass murderers do their acts from greed. I said that they do so in search of positive emotions of pleasure and to escape a sense of numbness. Or maybe they feel like power is a good stand-in for happiness. But greed is also made of love. Everything is. So, it's not that "Behind every mass murderer is a beautiful creation of love and joy, locked in false belief." It's that "Every mass murderer with all their greed and evil deeds are still an inextricable part of love." It's not that there is a need to show the loving "good self" that's locked under the false belief. The false belief is also love. The bad self is also love. The murdering happens from and in love. The murderer is love. The victim is love. The murder weapon is love. The place the murder occurred in is love. Every disgruntled emotion felt by the murderer is love. Every anguished cry from the victim is love. All the suffering and joy in the world is also love. There is literally nothing that isn't. 

[Will]

@Emerald I was thinking further about this while driving to work and I think I stumbled onto the answer..

There is an assumption that there is evil out there.. There is this idea that nasty stuff happens.. I mean theres a tonne of things we think are terrible atrocities going on right now..

Well, this guy Benthino Masarra or something coins the idea that we are everything...we are all the vibrations and possibilities out there, materialised into one moment.. they all fit together like a puzzle..

there fore we are it.. its just from our perspective things seem somewhere else.. separated by some distance and or time.. So we kinda tend to ignore or justify its not our fight..

I.e. if you got a mole you just cut it off and say that's not me and disown it and pretend its not part of you..

However, it could be that its all us..  ALLLLLLL of it...

So,, we are actually  vibrating with all these so called BAD vibrations....

This bentino guys suggests thouh that there is NO LACK .. We are abundant.. but we do have a fear of lack .. that's where all of our anxiety comes from...

which manifests as fear hate greed ect ect ect..

seems appropriate that we can just give up this idea we have any lack at all and then that changes how we interpret things..

rather than there bein hate greed ect ect.. there is only all expressions of love..??

 

Look this is out there and hurts my brain a bit and its implications go deep.

So I am kinda looking for some help to explore this topic..

What do you think??

 

[Will]

@Emerald

6 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I never said that mass murderers do their acts from greed.

Please don't see me as trying to correct you I am loving this discussion , but I am struggling to convey or articulate my message..

 

8 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I said that they do so in search of positive emotions of pleasure and to escape a sense of numbness.

probably do, I don't disagree but im toying with the concept that  even below chasing positive and escapism have underlying expressions of love that are misguided by a belief that the is lack??

 

12 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The false belief is also love. The bad self is also love. The murdering happens from and in love. The murderer is love. The victim is love. The murder weapon is love. The place the murder occurred in is love. Every disgruntled emotion felt by the murderer is love. Every anguished cry from the victim is love. All the suffering and joy in the world is also love. There is literally nothing that isn't. 

I would tend to agree..

So how do you think we should approach any darker type actions..?? and how does it all fit in?? do we continue to demonise all evil or do we embrass it and look for the deep inner truth behind it and nuture that.. Im also talking about our own as well all those deep dark shadow things insdie ourselves as well. not just your partners and the external world??

 

 

 

[Will]

@Emerald comes back to what we where discussing before about what to do with a abusive partner.. I think for starters.. Stop calling them abusive.. Not responding to there external fear of lack and only addressing there internal expression of love and abundance.. Who can do this though ?? NOT most people!!!.

So yeah.. Leave that situation until you learn the tools to be able to not be triggered by the superficial fears and needs.. And approach that situation from the perspective of the underlying love and abundance that we all have..

I don't know. there must be a way we can have abundance in those situations???

[Will]

@Emerald I think I am keen how to better handle my own demons and also how I treat the so called evils of the world.. Cos I guess at the end of the day everything that is happening is part of me..

Thanks for helping me to try and flesh this out..

x

 

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Will said:

I would tend to agree..

So how do you think we should approach any darker type actions..?? and how does it all fit in?? do we continue to demonise all evil or do we embrass it and look for the deep inner truth behind it and nuture that.. Im also talking about our own as well all those deep dark shadow things insdie ourselves as well. not just your partners and the external world??

 

This is why it's important to be able to embrace paradoxes. Yes, "all is one" and "all is love" is true. However, if we behave in an outwardly accepting way toward "evil" actions, it will simply enable all sorts of ills. So, we have to be able to say, "I'm not tolerating any behaviors that contribute to pain and suffering in myself or others." And for a society to function properly, there should be consequences for actions that cause harm. Now, modern justice systems are not the most conscious systems. However, justice can be done in a conscious way that focuses more on maintaining social health and preserving human dignity. We're just too "punishment" focused now, so we treat wrong-doers in a manner that we will likely one day see as very barbaric. 

However, you can still recognize and accept that "evil" and "evil-doers" are still part of love and that they are part of yourself. And you can still practice compassion toward them in realizing that their birth as themselves was arbitrary and that all actions are innocent in the end, even if they cause tremendous amounts of suffering. You could just as easily be living their exact life, and you don't know what compels them to behave in the way that they do. It's probably a very hard life. 

So, you have the right-ish idea about recognizing that all is perfect, love, and God. But recognition doesn't mean complacency or enabling unhealthy and harmful behaviors and social patterns to take root. There is no need to cause or enable unnecessary suffering.

So, it's foolish to do so based on the idea that "sometimes suffering is supposed to happen." That's true that suffering does often happen. But there is no need to put your hand on a hot stove and leave it there. Avoiding the burn is just as "one" as experiencing the burn. So, why not avoid the burn if you can choose to? But if you really feel like you want to experience the burn based on some ideological understanding of oneness and love, then you can. You'll just find out the hard way... the way that I had to after my experiences of ego-transcendence and the remembering of the insights from that state of being. 

[Emerald]

22 minutes ago, Will said:

@Emerald comes back to what we where discussing before about what to do with a abusive partner.. I think for starters.. Stop calling them abusive.. Not responding to there external fear of lack and only addressing there internal expression of love and abundance.. Who can do this though ?? NOT most people!!!.

So yeah.. Leave that situation until you learn the tools to be able to not be triggered by the superficial fears and needs.. And approach that situation from the perspective of the underlying love and abundance that we all have..

I don't know. there must be a way we can have abundance in those situations???

It's important to be honest and call a spade a spade. If someone is being abusive, don't be afraid to point this out and call it what it is. There is no need to muddy the waters of practical functioning, just to live by higher wisdom. 

And also don't feel like you should tolerate the abuse or enable a person to abuse another person. The abuser should not be entitled to a degree of acceptance in a way that deprives their victim of peace in life. Their actions should be stopped, if at all possible.

However, you should also practice compassion for this abusive individual and not make the mistake of flushing them down the toilet or invalidating their existence. You should still be able to recognize them as part of yourself and part of love/God/oneness/etc. Also, don't expect them to change their behavior. Most times, compassion and understanding will do little to impact the way someone else acts, anyway. Just accept them as they are and the fact that those types of things happen without needing it to change. This is unconditional love. But you should remove yourself from a harmful situation. It's not your job to be on the cross for someone else's sins, so to speak.

But (and this part is really important for you to understand) also don't forget to accept and recognize your own negative emotions relative to these harmful acts. Your negative emotions are also a part of love/God/oneness. So, to ignore, invalidate, or over-ride your negative emotions relative to abusive actions for the sake of accepting the person, misses your entire intention of accepting all as one. This is why I said you were engaging in spiritual bypassing in an earlier post.

You seem to make the mistake of thinking your repulsions and negative feelings toward the actions of others are invalid or antithetical to the recognition of love and oneness. And so you seem to ignore them as less valid than the intellectual truth that you learned about oneness. But your emotional repulsions are exactly the thing that you want to accept unconditionally because they are reality itself. So, they are also part of oneness and need unconditional acceptance. But also because it will help you realize what you don't want and it will help you navigate your way through life more skillfully. They are there for a practical function in decision making.

And if you actually realize the Truth of oneness in an experiential way and see other as self and self as other, and recognize the non-necessity of suffering. Then you naturally won't want to suffer and won't want others to suffer either. So, you will naturally try to take actions to reduce suffering for all parties involved. And sometimes, tough love and justice are necessary when addressing the actions of wrong-doers. So, it's important to let go of the non-dual dogma that is obscuring reality from you.

If you haven't experienced it, you can't intellectually figure out what wisdom is. Wisdom is like an infinite river that changes from moment to moment. A wise action in one moment, can be a foolish action in the next. So, the insight "all is one" might function in some situations... but definitely not all situations. My advice is to stop trying to get reality to fit with your beliefs regarding love, abundance, and lack. Reality doesn't fit into these ideas at all. 

[Will]

40 minutes ago, Emerald said:

"I'm not tolerating any behaviors that contribute to pain and suffering in myself or others."

I am thinking there is no other. the pain and suffering in others could well be ours and ours only and we just reflect that out. the more I discuss this the more I think the other is just what we see in ourselves.. pain and suffering could be an illusion...

 

16 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Their actions should be stopped

They may be Us, so maybe its our actions we should stop???

If your yelling at someone,, because they make you angry, who is responsible?? id say we could accept complete responsibility and not yell and add to an already bad situiation.. im not sayin, oh that's ok continue on.. but something like.. "ok, whats going on, lets talk about it.. try and get to the bottom of this.. is this really what you want??"

23 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And also don't feel like you should tolerate the abuse or enable a person to abuse another person

Im clearly not explaining myself here.. im not saying tolerate,, more remove the judgement... how that looks.. im not sure.. I think the judgement is real evil.. why cant we just forget the judgement and se it for what it really is..

26 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It's not your job to be on the cross for someone else's sins, so to speak.

how can we separate ourselves though.. We could all be one??

Anyways, there may be no sins anyway.. That's just what we call it because we hold a belief that there is lack..??

28 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Most times, compassion and understanding will do little to impact the way someone else acts, anyway

Really??

30 minutes ago, Emerald said:

also don't forget to accept and recognize your own negative emotions relative to these harmful acts. Your negative emotions are also a part of love/God/oneness

id resonate with this..

 

31 minutes ago, Emerald said:

So, to ignore, invalidate, or over-ride your negative emotions relative to abusive actions

I have a feeling negative and abuse may not even exist.. they stem from our belief that there is lack  possible in our existence..

 

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

make the mistake of thinking your repulsions and negative feelings toward the actions of others are invalid

im not sure why its a mistake what is repulsions and negativity don't exist??

36 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And if you actually realize the Truth of oneness in an experiential way and see other as self and self as other, and recognize the non-necessity of suffering. Then you naturally won't want to suffer

Well suffering may not exist..

37 minutes ago, Emerald said:

and won't want others to suffer either

im not sure about this.. who am I to Tell them how to live.. all I can do is sort myself be joyfull myself and not add to others.. theres is there choice?? Unless of course they ask??

[Will]

39 minutes ago, Emerald said:

actions to reduce suffering for all parties involved

I have made the mistake of preaching in the past.. never again.. all I am saying here is my expression of possibility. youll notice I try not to use terms like must or need or is or have to...

What the hell do I know...

This is like a big exploration game , its quiet enjoyable, but is quiet mysterious and you never know where your oing either.. maybe its that way for a reason??

42 minutes ago, Emerald said:

If you haven't experienced it, you can't intellectually figure out what wisdom is.

Yep. id say this is probably true.. I don't think im fully trying to work it out just trying to get a gist of things..

I think I prefer that life is a bit of a lucky dip..

 

 

Thanks again..

This has been most enlightening

x

[Will]

I think this journey is teaching me that there are things I can know that I don't,, I things that I cant know that I think I do.. They both help me to move in more of a state of flow.. rather than resistance..

 

[Will]

59 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It's important to be honest and call a spade a spade. If someone is being abusive, don't be afraid to point this out and call it what it is

Like alan watts points out.. we could also look at them and smile thinking wow they really are right out there.. Its not for us to judge but we can appreciate it, and probably we should not try and awaken them as its like walking a tight rope...

[Emerald]

@Will From the dualistic perspective, a whole litany of negative things do exist. So, from that perspective, abuse does exist, suffering does exist, negative things do exist, etc. They exist within the illusion of duality as perceived by the mind. And no one alive can fully avoid this perspective and still be alive. Even enlightened people, still need to be able to function from this perspective if they want to continue to exist.

So, the mind is wired to deal with situations by using judgments based on instinct and past experience to avoid negative situations and go toward positive situations. There is nothing wrong with this. It's just the way that the mechanism works, and it's the reason why we're able to survive in the first place. If we didn't have this, we'd just walk right into the lion's den to be "one" with the lions in a literal way.

Resisting the way the mind-mechanism works is just another form of resistance toward one aspect of reality and setting it aside from all other aspects of reality. It's a way of saying this aspect of reality is not valid and it must be changed because it is not reflective of what I believe about "love" and "oneness". I have to make the mind fit the mold of my ideas about reality.

However, if you try to practice the idea that you're entertaining in any kind of real way that doesn't cut any corners, you will die within the day. You will walk out into traffic because you'll see everything as one and there being no negative. So, walking out into traffic is no worse than walking on the sidewalk. You will drink your bathroom cleaner because it's really no worse than drinking water. And from the ultimate perspective, you will be absolutely correct on all accounts. Your pain and death will all just be part of the illusion and everything will still be "one" and "love." But was it really worth it to be so correct? Maybe it would be better to be wise instead.

 

[Will]

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

a whole litany of negative things do exist. So, from that perspective, abuse does exist, suffering does exist, negative things do exist

I guess your free to have that in your world if you wish..  

I personal am going to try and transcend both.. 

I would prefere to see things as up and down rather than high and low.. Subtle but different..  rather than good bad, Just differing.. duality is still there just no judgement.. 

To me persoanlly it seems more logical. I dont wish to convince you otherwise.. Just me ya know??

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

I believe

Im trying not to believe anything.. Im trying to just know what i know and admit I dont know everything else..

 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

I have to make the mind fit the mold of my ideas about reality

WHy not just imagine the things you think youd like.. and put that out there?? WHy try and fit a square in round hole why not just imagine a cube into existence?? Maybe we dont have to worry about where we currently are?? Maybe be can go where ever we want, regardless of where we came from.. and where we are presently.. we are fairly bound inn the now but our imagination is probably boundless..

 

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

However, if you try to practice the idea that you're entertaining in any kind of real way that doesn't cut any corners, you will die within the day

And who knows what will be in its place..  I think you get it now.. Kinda scary facing death huh.. exciting to tho.. Im in..  

4 hours ago, Emerald said:

So, walking out into traffic is no worse than walking on the sidewalk. You will drink your bathroom cleaner because it's really no worse than drinking water

All I am saying is that, if you do what is honestly compelling to you, and you have minimised the self doubt,,, in general, the experience will be expansive, you wont be looking for dramas more exploration.. Things are only impossible until someone does it..

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Will said:

All I am saying is that, if you do what is honestly compelling to you, and you have minimised the self doubt,,, in general, the experience will be expansive, you wont be looking for dramas more exploration.. Things are only impossible until someone does it..

Shankaran Pilai, you will definitely die if you walk into traffic or drink poison. It's just the way the illusion of duality works. Don't expect for yourself (as the creator) to undermine the consistency of your illusion's rules just for the sake of confirming your ego's intellectual beliefs about how the world should be. You (God) doesn't change its creation for the whims and wishes of the ego. So, if you walk off a cliff, it would be foolish to expect yourself to float. Plus, why would you want to float anyway? There's nothing any cooler or more magical about it than walking or taking a breath. It's all a huge miracle. Are the laws of physics not good enough for you that there needs to be some sort of exception made?

There was a Buddhist parable about a student and a master. The student came in to have tea with the master in the traditional tea bowls, which are cupped in both hands when they are used for drinking. The tea bowls the master provided were very thin. So, when the student picked it up to take a drink, the bowl shattered in his hands. The student said, "That tea bowl was too thin." And the master said, "No, the tea bowl was just as it should be. You gripped it too hard."

Now, in any other situation the student would have a good point. But since the master was using it as a teaching tool for learning the Zen way of being, there is an important message being conveyed. The message is that, we must adapt to the circumstances of life as opposed to expecting life to conform to our expectations. This is the way to flow with life. 

Edited June 27, 2017 by Emerald

[Loreena]

It's always men who point out problems in women. Little strange.  Somehow Women never tend to do it. I guess they are very tolerant and put up with the bullshit for too long. Women generally confide in their friends and don't go around demonizing the entire gender.  

Men never look at themselves. They never try to see where they're going wrong.  Everything is somehow always  a woman's fault.     Man in the mirror 

Very self-fulfilling narcissistic way of defending oneself.

Both men and women make mistakes. I have dated men in my age range and I have come across horrible ones. Nice from outside, bad from inside. Yet I have never whined and bickered or said all men are bad/dysfunctional.  

If your relationship is not working with a lot of women, it's time to look within yourself. If you genuinely feel they are being wrong and not worthy,  try to find the one who is more compatible. 

Too much analyzing won't help you.  Sometimes you have to let go. 

Grow up. 

[Emerald]

19 minutes ago, Loreena said:

It's always men who point out problems in women.

 Your irony is showing.

Edited June 27, 2017 by Emerald

[Loreena]

A woman could have made a similar post about men and their problems. Men have problems too. But It's largely ignored and brushed under the carpet and a common phrase is used "Men will be men."

We live in a hypocritical world where it's okay for a man to make mistakes and have flaws. 

And If a woman tries out point out those, she is labeled a fucking feminist.