My Wife Died suddenly on October 28 this year. Advice.

[Deutsche22]

Hi Everyone,

My wife died suddenly on this 10/28. I am left with our 6 year old daughter.

Mainly, I wonder what everyone thinks about handling these extremely intense terrible emotions. What I do is just try to be as keenly mindful as possible when it is happening. I try to just observe them and feel them as energy fields. When it happens though you get pulled into the mind and thoughts arise. This is unbelievably difficult.

Thank you for your comments and for reading this.

 

[Emerald]

I'm sorry to hear that. 

My thought is to reach out to people for support emotionally and practically, and to find an outlet to really allow yourself to grieve. 

Right now, you are probably trying to stay strong for your daughter, which is something that she really needs. But if you have to be strong all the time, that is too much for a person to bare. So, it's important to find someone or multiple people that you can really let go in front of.

Do you have any friends or family that you can grieve with, without having to do the emotional labor of supporting them emotionally as well?

[Spiral]

Have faith that things will get better and that you'll feel better with time. Being optimistic helps.

[Deutsche22]

36 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm sorry to hear that. 

My thought is to reach out to people for support emotionally and practically, and to find an outlet to really allow yourself to grieve. 

Right now, you are probably trying to stay strong for your daughter, which is something that she really needs. But if you have to be strong all the time, that is too much for a person to bare. So, it's important to find someone or multiple people that you can really let go in front of.

Do you have any friends or family that you can grieve with, without having to do the emotional labor of supporting them emotionally as well?

Thank you, Emerald!

[sarapr]

@Deutsche22 im sorry to hear that.

All you need is the knowledge that it will pass, after a year or two the intensity Will fade away. Just give yourself time and feel through the emotions and you will automatically get past it. It's just a phase.

 

[Psychonaut]

@Deutsche22 I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling.

I have recently gone through a tumultuous relationship with many ups and downs. What has helped me personally was to write. To just write what is on my mind. Once I had written it down some of the weight is relieved. Write on the highs and the lows. It gives me strength when I read what I have gone through.

[outlandish]

I'm sorry man, I feel for you, when I imagine this scenario in my life it's really hard.

Your daughter is lucky that she has you and that you will be there for her. One day at a time man, it will slowly heal.

[SageModeAustin]

Jesus Christ man I can't imagine. Seek therapy, you're going to need it because this is going to be a long process. Think about what your wife would want for you to do and go do it. 

Edited December 15, 2018 by SageModeAustin

[Matt23]

Leo's got a great video on how to deal with strong negative emotions that might be helpful if you have't already seen it.

[Gabriel Antonio]

@Emerald +1 

I can't even give any advice, because I have never gone through a thing like that. Here's a song that might help: 

 

[Leo Gura]

@Deutsche22 That sounds very difficult.

Spirituality is the solution.

Psychedelics could help you see the good and love again. She's not really gone. She and you are one forever. Maybe try some MDMA, 5-MeO-DMT, or mushrooms so you can realize this directly. They will reconnect you with divine love and oneness and help you deal with any emotional baggage that remains.

Also remember that a grieving process is totally normal. Especially this early into it. Don't avoid the grieving, rather go more fully into it. Explore it. Rather than trying to be all "spiritual" and stoic, dive into the feeling! Feel deeper!

And be gentle with yourself. Don't forget to love yourself.