Ego Backlash Mega Thread

[Sahil Pandit]

What Ego Backlash feels like: (Notes from Leo's "Understanding Ego Backlash" video) 

How much can you tolerate working on the foundations of your beliefs? 

Video aside, you CAN make big changes, but it’s gonna take a lot of suffering. Why?

Because you're always trying to survive. 

You don't want give up certain parts of yourself that are old, inauthentic, and no longer connected to who you are currently. That's why a lot of people carry feelings of sadness or emptiness with them. They aren't willing to give up parts of themselves that no longer serve them.

And to make things even more complex, when they DO try to give poor habits and beliefs up, Ego Backlash happens and homeostasis kicks in.  

If you are going deep down this road, you will experience many Ego Backlashes.

Harmonic Oscillator - that's what your mind is. The mind is a complex system, which makes up the ego mind. The engine that holds your whole entire life together.

Your mind holds all the behaviors and patterns/survival habits that you have accumulated since birth. This has been hard wired and baked into a non linear network.

You have these habits: Examples…

Bullied at school

Not enough love from family

Bullying older brother

These coping mechanisms were in placed so that you wouldn’t be ostracized from your community.

Now you need to make a living, you have to have new coping mechanisms…

Any system has inertia to it, because of systems thinking… For it to maintain a structure, it has to maintain a self similarity. Because if it changes too much, due to external forces,  it wont be able to survive.

Example: Castle built out of Lego's, if you re arranged the Legos from a castle to a ship, the castle would react and cause death to the castle.. This is what happens to you inside your mind when you try to make a big life change..

 Most people change superficial things about their lives.. BUT they don't look at potential existential changes that can occur.

Ego Backlash - Anytime you try to change a non linear system to change, you should expect to be pulled back towards homeostasis!

Ego backlash is an egoic mechanism that holds you in place. You have these because of survival mechanisms you have had over your life.

Ego back lash doesn't feel good. It can feel depressing. Why? Because it feels like a giant step forward when you try  and change something, then you backslide and take two steps back.

 You CAN make big changes, but it’s gonna take a lot of suffering.

What is CHANGE?

Change is the DEATH of the previous thing…

"That" part of you is scared and doesn’t want to die. Of course it won't come out and tell you that it doesn't want to die, its in the subtle parts of your mind.

The ego backlash doesn't announce itself to you. Usually, it just feels like a primal emotional force that drives you back to your OLD dysfunctional ways…

Example: Strong cravings start coming back. Craving for sex, food, criticism, demonizing, etc.

Ego backlash warns you to set Proper Expectations.

KILLING aspects of yourself is at the core of Personal Development.

Also, de raveling the mind. This is tricky.. Because often times its not a linear improvement.

When you look at your life, it's like pulling out the bottom of your house of cards.

If you take a deep look, you will find a lot of skeletons in your closet.

You care A LOT about people liking you in the social domain. Why? Because your whole life you have been running away from looking at deep existential issues. This causes ego backlash when you try to tackle these issues.

When you think about your accomplishments, and you try to flex your accomplishments, you will realize that they are a façade to impress other people. Anger, fear, sadness, emptiness.. You will feel these 

There is NO self. Your entire personality is an entire house of cards.

Ego Backlash can occur from:

Creating a strong morning routine

Developing discipline

Having a glimpse of enlightenment

Doing a "No Fap" Challenge

How do you deal with Ego Backlash?

Well, you need to expect it. Appreciate the homeostasis that is keeping you alive.

The mind is not bad, but it's just safety orientated to keep you alive.

The old habits that we don't need anymore, are still running our lives.

EXPECT ego backlash to occur. Expect fear and other emotions.

When this stuff does happen, start to label it.

Notice it and say "Oh! There's the ego backlash."

This gives you some distance from it, so you don't get absorbed into your mind.

Apply mindfulness to the Ego Backlash.

Ego Backlash is a recoil/retraction. Be careful, do NOT make the mistake of making major life decisions from a negative state… (Especially when you feel like a victim)

Ego backlash has a HUGE emotional charge to it, so expect it to skew your vision in that moment.

You grow the most when you are backsliding… which is why it is so challenging!

If you're in the midst of an ego backlash, you won't wanna up keep your good habits.

Another important point -- frame Ego Backlash in a positive way.

There is also the COLLECTIVE Ego Backlash.

Collective ego backlash can happen in governments, businesses, countries, etc.

If you refer to the Spiral Dynamics Model, you will see that one stage will have an Ego Backlash against another stage. Example, the rise of Feminism.

When you are in a deep Ego Backlash, all of these theories will fly out the window. So what should you do? You should try to be mindful, and be kind/love yourself.

Every time you fail, and you're mindful, you will become aware of the sneak maneuvers that the mind plays to keep you in homeostasis. You will start to see the smoke screen that mind plays.

You need a lot of attempts at this, so don’t get discouraged.

It is important to distinguish states vs. stages of personal development. It's much easier to have a high state in comparison to stage of development. (Ken Wilber)

A stage of development takes years of work.

When you're in a bad mood, you need to console yourself and remind yourself that you will rebound and feel much better once the suffering is over.

Edited December 9, 2018 by Sahil Pandit

[Dan Arnautu]

I don't know if it's wise to open mega threads for every single video. They might drown out the new topics that posters need help with. 

If it goes on like this, the 1st page of every subforum will have only mega threads. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Dan Arnautu Yeah as i was writing the notes, i tried to go back and change it.. Hopefully a mod can fix that 

[7thLetter]

 

 

[benny]

So in the midst of an ego backlash, does this mean I should just mindfully observe, wait it out, and try to instill the change again? Or should I continue to try and implement the change in the midst of an ego backlash?

 

Also, how and why is it during ego backlashes that we grow the most?

[Sahil Pandit]

@benny Ego back lash should be mindfully observed until the feeling attached to the backlash settles down, then you can instill the change. The reason why we grow the most after observing an ego backlash is because it gives us the space required to make the necessary changes without falling back into patterns. 

For example, a thought may arise, " I really want to watch ___ right now" then there is a strong feeling and urge connected to it. You know that you shouldn't watch it, so you just mindfully observe, and after a few minutes, the strong emotion subsides.

You can do this with other things too, like biting nails, saying no to junk food, etc. 

[benny]

@Sahil Pandit Thanks Sahil! I'll try that out.

19 minutes ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@benny Ego back lash should be mindfully observed until the feeling attached to the backlash settles down, then you can instill the change. The reason why we grow the most after observing an ego backlash is because it gives us the space required to make the necessary changes without falling back into patterns. 

For example, a thought may arise, " I really want to watch ___ right now" then there is a strong feeling and urge connected to it. You know that you shouldn't watch it, so you just mindfully observe, and after a few minutes, the strong emotion subsides.

You can do this with other things too, like biting nails, saying no to junk food, etc. 

So in the midst of an ego backlash, does this mean I should just mindfully observe, wait it out, and try to instill the change again? Or should I continue to try and implement the change in the midst of an ego backlash?

 

Also, how and why is it during ego backlashes that we grow the most?

[Hellspeed]

This is not ego backlash, nor the explanations from Leo's video. What he was experiencing was and update of vibration, that is not ego backlash. How i know this? I'm wide awake, i can feel each of your hearts, literally. 

People go backfiring when someone declares that can feel or do certain things. That is ego backlash, the backfire of those unawakened. The pride of the majority is so big that they claim blood and dissection, because is what the mind does.

I decided to go Heart front, that does not mean beautiful poetry in my words. Not abstenation of braking the feelings of people's minds created feelings. 

Edited December 13, 2018 by Hellspeed