What after atttraction phase with a girl?

[Alex14]

At school I had been thinking about trying to get in a relationship with a girl (who is in my class). Yesterday there was a Christmas event organized by the school where we, thestudents, have to sell food and drinks and organize games and there’s a talent show and all this kind of stuff. So, I had to sell drinks with a couple other people, including the girl that up to this point I’ve only spoken to her a couple of times during class (asked her something, explain something to her and the occasional joke, etc). Everyone were kind of bored and waiting for people to come buy to our stand (we were forced to do this by the school). So I tried going around with a cooler selling the food with a friend and we sold a couple of items, I came back to the stand (where the girl was) and she sees that we were having some fun and selling, she decides to come with me (my friend goes somewhere else so it’s just me and her). And we go offering some snacks to people, trying to get them to buy. And on the mean time we were haveing a LOT of fun and later even flirting (Keep in mind we hadn’t really talked up to this point). Then it gets late she has to leave, good bye hug, good bye kiss in the cheek (doesn’t mean anything, just a way of saying good bye where I live). But now , how do I proceed with the girl when we go back to school on Monday an everything is back to normal? How do I go in a relationship with her. We’re both 17, I’m boy and she’s a girl. Also she is of the more popular kids, I’m not (not that I feel that limits me but just thought to let you know)

 

*IMPORTANT NOTE*: My parents are VERY closed to me having a girlfriend. They are the kind of parents who want you to have excellent grades and school is the only thing that matters and are extremely overprotective, overwhelmingly overprotective. So when this relationship happens, it will have to be kept secret. Having a girlfriend it’s a taboo for them. Naturally it is very awkward  talking about having a girlfriend with them.

 

 

 

So to summarize; How do I go from the attraction phase to “having a girlfriend” phase. And all this with my family (heavily) opposing it.

Edited December 9, 2018 by Alex14

[universe]

Dont talk about anything "relationship" with her.

She already responded well with whatever you did. Continue doing it!

Have fun, laugh. Try to isolate her (1v1 time). Go for a walk or ask her to come hang out at some place.

You are already touching (hugging, kissing on the cheek), thats very good. Escalate! Touch her hands, her shoudlers, her legs. Then lay your arm around her. Then try to kiss her. Do it in a confident way, when you have a high point in the conversation. Dont look at your hands when you touch her!

You dont do this to get anything from her, its just a cool way of leading the interaction and letting her know your intentions.

You have to be completely unfazed by any of her actions. If she blocks your hands, ok. If she blocks your kiss, ok. It doesnt mean anything. As long as she stays its all good. Just respect her signals and back up a bit. Try it again some time later. Maybe even the next day.

There are a million reasons a girl might not want to kiss you. She could be afraid that someone sees, she could think her mouth stinks, she could think you are a psycho, she could think you will be clingy, she might needs more time to know you, she could think you are trying to make fun of her. Maybe she is just not into you. You will find out.

Girls that age usually like to chase guys, so be the guy she can chase. Dont tell her your intentions directly. Be a bit vague. Dont give her your attention all the time. Never try to impress her!! But mix it with becoming more physical with her, that way she will feel some security that you like her.

[Alex14]

@universe I was thinking about asking her for help with chemistry (we are in exams), mostly for the 1v1 time you said. Btw, I’m factoring in all the counterintuitiveness that comes with “dating” and attracting someone. Also, what about my parents strictness?

Edited December 9, 2018 by Alex14

[Shadowraix]

1 hour ago, Alex14 said:

Also, what about my parents strictness?

Don't date unless you can get out of this.

I don't think you'll truly enjoy it unless you actually have the freedom to progress as you feel is necessary.

It'll be stress and it'll make the girl feel bad and rejected because you gotta hide it.

When you turn 18 you can at least legally stand your ground (or whatever the age of independence is for you)

At that point your parents can't have total control and you can be more free with how you live.

[Charlotte]

@Alex14 Moved it over to this part of the forum instead buddy as it falls under this category

[Spiral]

@Alex14 Tried explaining how you feel about this whole thing with your parents? Maybe they can be convinced? 

I would also go for dates one on one. Get to know each other, you don't need to rush anything but you can't take 3 months to make a move either.

Study-related stuff is ok at first unless she is very motivated with her studies. I would try some other things perhaps  a visit to a café?

On the other hand don't spend too much time together, this is a classic mistake young guys make. 

Edited December 11, 2018 by Spiral