Answering the real intention behind the question

[Simke]

Hi all, i was just wondering how would you suggest to respond to these types of questions that seem simple to answer to but you can just feel that the person bringing up a question is not really interested in your answer and is just hoping to make a fool out of you in some way.

This happened to me a lot, i just happened to cut those people out of my life, yet i am interested in the ways of responding to them if they come up sometimes in the future. You can just feel the real intentions trough their body language, facial expression, or their voice. 

So should you really answer the question, or respond to their real intentions behind it?

I would also appreciate, if you can suggest any books or videos that might help with social interactions.

Edited December 8, 2018 by Simke

[Amanaki]

I have experienced this many times too, In the beginning i normally answer honestly and try to explain the question with how i see it, But if i understand they only looking for making a fool of me, then i tell them how i see the situation and the response is either they get mad and walk away or they laugh and joke it off.

[NoSelfSelf]

If you are confident about yourself you wont get irritated with those queastions you show them you dont take yourself seriously...they could test how you react and how far they can go with you do you set the bounderies?

[universe]

Do you know why they want to make a fool out of you? In what context does it happen?

I like the videos on charisma on command yt channel very much for learning social stuff.

[Simke]

Today i am reading this book Taming your gremlin and came across this passage:

Sometimes, when we're not consciously directing our spotlight of awareness, we slip unknowingly into the world of mind, which often is no more than a world of make-believe. If, for example, you and i were talking right now and i saw you looking at me, i might imagine that you were listening to me, that you were bored, that you were angry with me, or any combination of these or who knows what? I might even predicate my actions on my fantasy. If i imagined that you were listening to me, i probably would continue talking. If i imagined you were bored, i might stop talking. If i imagined you were angry with me, i might get uptight and begin communicating with you defensively. My action would be based on fantasy, and my fantasy would, in all likelihood, be based on past experiences rather than on the reality of the current moment.

I guess this is what is happening to me, i might just be imagining things based on past experiences.

[Spiral]

This guy is really useful for learning how to deal with this type of interaction, he uses a date example but it works generally.

Long story short, a guy asks him where he got his haircut, implying that is looks bad.

 

Edited December 10, 2018 by Spiral