How To Find Your True Motives?

[Pilgrim]

The purpose of life I think is to be or to become yourself, not a better version of yourself. The best version of yourself is the truest version of yourself. I assumed that it should be quite easy if all I have to do is to be myself until I realised how difficult it actually is. We all have parts in us that we do not like and we want to hide them. Someone who is able to show their weaknesses without shame is the strongest person in the room I think. That's vulnerability, that's being true. There is no general right or wrong way to be.. no better or worse, only more fitting and less fitting for the individual.  

So that is my "experiment" at the moment.. to be totally 1000% honest with myself. To analyse my motives in life and to ask myself, is it true that I want this or do I only THINK that I want this. I noticed it's quite difficult to make this distinction and I am shocked how often I only think that I want something - be it out of societal pressure, a wish to impress, out of the feeling of not being enough etc. etc. Ultimately I believe that embodying something which comes from your heart should be very easy, but it's quite difficult to get through to this layer.

To improve this approach, does anybody have advice how I can feel better into my true wants? I find this harder than I thought.. it's so difficult because often I would "want" things, where I feel it's socially expected from me. I have trouble being totally honest to myself out of the expectations others have. 

Also on a side note.. becoming our true selves is the most important thing in life in my opinion. Yet I feel this stands in contrast to self development to some degree. 
I guess acceptance of yourself and surrendering to things you cannot change is self-development as well.. but where do things like discipline and ambition fit in? Sometimes I feel like with trying to be ambitious about certain things and cultivating discipline I am trying to "better" myself, that I would be someone who others admire, someone everyone would want to be. Everyone sort of wants to be the leader, the star.. but isn't it actually much more difficult to be the imperfect (real) version of yourself and love yourself nevertheless instead of the flawless version of yourself and love yourself? 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Pilgrim

[Leo Gura]

A lot of time by your self contemplating and journaling is necessary. And not just once. You must do it over and over again throughout your life.

The LP Course covers this topic a lot.

The problem is the social conditioning and childhood survival habits run extremely deep. It is hard to seperate them out from your genuine higher self motives and values.

I am still discovering more authentic motives in myself after years of self-reflection and years of satisfying various needs.

As you grow your motives will get purified more and more until they run clear like a bitter cold high mountain stream.

[Hellspeed]

Is more simple than that.

Attention on Chest! etc.

[Galyna]

@Pilgrim that is a wonderful post. I am working on it myself now with my life coach. It is hard, because we have various fallacies about ourselves. Sometimes it hurts to realize that you have been lying yourself for a long time.