Should I take this LSD? Have I done enough Personal development?

[Wisebaxter]

Ok so my LSD arrived today and I'm planning to do it next month. I only took LSD once before, many years ago, in sugar cube form and then wandered around the countryside feeling blissed out and at one with everything, but it didn't feel overly strong, may have even been a placebo. I've only been meditating solidly for about 3 months and haven't done really any self enquiry. However I'm quite a well rounded individual and have been studying Buddhism for about 10 years and non-duality for about a year and a half. I have a solid grasp on my true nature as being awareness, although I haven't had any mystical experiences yet. I've watched all of Leo's videos, taken notes on all of them and do personal development throughout my day and nothing else. This is also includes shadow work. I also do a lot reading, have digested Ralston, Byron Katie, Tolle, some Om Swami. I understand 'being cognition,' the relative nature of reality and can reside in no-self when I wish by letting go of all concepts and ideologies, although not for long periods, 
One or two people on the forum have expressed concern for my welfare as it's my first time tripping and I haven't done much of the actual solid, spiritual practices, although I know all the theory (have theory coming out of my ears) and I feel I can do a good job of residing in being for the experience and getting some good insights. I've been advised to let go of all concepts, which I understand, but then again, if I want to ask questions, some concepts will be needed right? 
But the core of my question is, am I jumping in too deep here? The LSD is 150ug and 98% pure. The guy I bought it off recommended I take 115ug my first time but I'm inclined to go for the 150. It might also be worth mentioning that I'm a veteran weed smoker (although given up now) and I've had many intense experiences on that, which had started to induce panic attacks towards the end of my habit. Therefore I feel I can keep my head together during the trip. I've been told the trip will last 12 hours. I'll be renting out a hotel room to take it. 

The way I see it is...I'll be fine as long as I have 'mystical cat' to guide me 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Strikr]

good trip bro' enjoy

[Wisebaxter]

@Strikr Thanks Strikr, see you on the other side

[peanutspathtotruth]

Go for it, 150 is not a low dose but nothing to be scared of either. Really ground yourself before and during the trip, especially if you feel panic or fear coming up, always remember your breath. It's there to guide you if there is no other way.

Enjoy the ride my friend 

[Wisebaxter]

@peanutspathtotruth hey thanks for the advice, really appreciated. I think I'll spend every day from now until I trip just being as mindful as possible and in touch with the moment. I'll be sure to remember your advice concerning my breath as well. Great to have that to fall back on 

[isabel]

I'm not sure if you can take acid and not be sure if it was a placebo or not, it's pretty intense

you can always cut it in half or even quarters just to see what it does

all you have to do is remember that you can talk yourself back out of whatever you get into if it's not pleasant, but have a plan ahead of time of how you'll do that if you start to "freak out" or even have someone to call who can talk you back down

if the sun turns into a strobe light and all of your skin melts off - it's good to have a plan lol

 

 

[Wisebaxter]

24 minutes ago, isabel said:

I'm not sure if you can take acid and not be sure if it was a placebo or not, it's pretty intense

you can always cut it in half or even quarters just to see what it does

all you have to do is remember that you can talk yourself back out of whatever you get into if it's not pleasant, but have a plan ahead of time of how you'll do that if you start to "freak out" or even have someone to call who can talk you back down

if the sun turns into a strobe light and all of your skin melts off - it's good to have a plan lol

Yeah I did consider taking a smaller dose, but I feel I'll be diaaspointed if it turns out to be less than mind blowing. 

There's nobody I can call to talk me down. My girlfriend will freak out if I call her as she's already worried about me doing it. I'll be on my own so I'll just focus on my breath and take some chilled music with me. 

Is this what hapenned to you? Your skin melted off? 

[Forestluv]

Experience with letting go during intense cannibis states is likely helpful. For me, I would be prepared with a few options for activity. Meditation, journaling, music, videos, creating something. A few times, I might be trying to meditate and get all "introspective" and it's uncomfortable and the energy is pulling in another direction. I put on some music and entering an amazing nondual state with the music. . . Sometimes there can be uncomfortable body and mental load on the come-up. It doesn't last that long. So don't think it's going to be like this the whole time. 

During the come-up - have fun. Laugh, smile, get silly. We often talk about the uncomfortable nature of surrender, yet tripping can sooo beautiful - One Love. Pure existence. Beauty beyond the imagination. 

Also, sometimes a minor mental tweak can totally recontextualize a trip. I was tripping in a cafe in Medellin, Colombia one time. I started to lose touch with reality. Reality became a computer simulation and the waiter and I were the only humans in the simulation. I got anxious and thought I was about to do something stupid. Like I may start yelling that everyone in the cafe were computer images and to wake up.. . . Yet, I was able to tweak it and recontextualized. . . I thought "Whoa!!! This is amaaaaazing!!! It's like I'm on another planet, in another world!!! It's like actually being in an amazing science fiction movie!!! Then, things got so interesting and I got so curious about people and felt so much love for them. They were the most beautiful people in the world and I was experiencing a new level of love I couldn't imagine.

I would devote 12hrs to the trip, yet it's not 12hrs. of hard tripping. There will be stages. So, if one stage feels a bit intense, know that degrees of sanity will slowly return. The intensity will not last 12hrs. I've had trips in which an hour or so was nauesa and mental discomfort - and later amazingly beautiful. 

 

[Sven]

Are you gonna do it alone? I'm sure doing it alone has its perks, but so does doing it with someone you trust. It's like a safety anker

[ajasatya]

@Wisebaxter related:

 

[Wisebaxter]

@Serotoninluv Thanks for the practical advice. All noted. Nice to know about the stages thing. Will help me through any tougher periods.

@Sven I'll be tripping alone as there's nobody I can think of to sit with me. Also I'm not sure I'd want anyone there as they would probably distract me from going deep inside myself. But I can only surmise with this

@ajasatya Awesome trip report. That's the kind of trip I'd want to experience. Sounds like it was life changing for him. Best line is 'I saw so much beauty in a vagabond's eyes.' 

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[isabel]

1 hour ago, Wisebaxter said:

Yeah I did consider taking a smaller dose, but I feel I'll be diaaspointed if it turns out to be less than mind blowing. 

There's nobody I can call to talk me down. My girlfriend will freak out if I call her as she's already worried about me doing it. I'll be on my own so I'll just focus on my breath and take some chilled music with me. 

Is this what hapenned to you? Your skin melted off? 

 

yes, but just once - luckily I was with friends who could help

but it's super easy to fix, just expect things to go well and know that you can change them just in case

basically all you have to do is change the subject - sounds like you have some things ready, your music and your breath

check out the surroundings beforehand in case you feel like you need to get out of that room or get some air

moving outside can change things a lot

[outlandish]

It's your own decision, no one on here can make it for you. Nothing you've described about yourself or your practice and habits raises any concerns for me; you sound way more than ready. 150µg sounds like a perfect dose.

I'd recommend not getting stuck in your hotel room, when you're ready and comfortable go explore, somewhere beautiful and full of vibrant nature. You mention yourself being a (ex) weed user - I recommend not smoking any weed during your trip, or if you must, only small amounts towards the end of the trip. Put away your digital devices. Breathe.

[Wisebaxter]

@isabel @outlandish That's interesting, both you guys have suggested I might want to get out of the hotel room for a breather. I hadn't really considered that as I read that being outside can make it a less introspective experience as you become distracted with what's going on around you. I kind of wanted to just focus on contemplating, meditation and throwing questions at the universe etc, but 12 hours is a long time to be stuck in doors...so I'll try and make sure the hotel is near somewhere nice. I was going to stay at Travel Lodge as they're cheap but they're really the lowest of the low and maybe too cramped. I might try and stretch to something a bit nicer. 

@John Lula Thanks for the tip John. I don't have the funds to attend a Vipassana retreat right now and I really want to crack on with taking this stuff so I guess I'll be taking the plunge. I'm going to make sure I set my intention properly, go into it with a clear head, confident and relaxed and like Isabel said, just expect things to go well. The outer world is a reflection of my mind anyway so if I'm confident and do some visualisations of how I want it to go down, I have a feeling it'll be cool

Edited December 7, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Forestluv]

20 minutes ago, John Lula said:

@Wisebaxter Do a 10-day Vipassana retreat. If you can handle that well, you Might be suitable for a trip.

That could certainly help orient a mind prior to a first trip, yet it is by no means necessary. A standard meditation practice is fine. That's all I did.

And, preparation is great. Yet it ultimately boils down to letting go and surrendering. I find it best to have a genuine, humble attitude and just be chill and go with it. 

 

[Wisebaxter]

Duplicate Post - disregard 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Wisebaxter

[Wisebaxter]

4 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

And, preparation is great. Yet it ultimately boils down to letting go and surrendering. I find it best to have a genuine, humble attitude and just be chill and go with it. 

Well that's that then. I won't focus on what might go wrong and create a self fulfilling prophecy. I'll nurture the excitement I'm feeling and petition the universe to give me a glimpse of the Ox

[SgtPepper]

yeah man. I first tried psychedelics before I even got into meditation or any of this work. 

All you need is self-acceptance, some self-control, and don't make any rash decisions. experience it fully and enjoy.

[Forestluv]

1 minute ago, Wisebaxter said:

@isabel @outlandish That's interesting, both you guys have suggested I might want to get out of the hotel room for a breather. I hadn't really considered that as I read that being outside can make it a less introspective experience as you become distracted with what's going on around you. I kind of wanted to just focus on contemplating, meditation and throwing questions at the universe etc, but 12 hours is a long time to be stuck in doors...so I'll try and make sure the hotel is near somewhere nice. I going to stay at Travel Lodge as they're cheap but they're really the lowest of the low and maybe too cramped. I might try and stretch to something a bit nicer. 

I would go with the flow of the trip and listen to the teacher. During the peak of my first trip, the energy was to stay inside. I felt fearful of leaving my house. Then, during the comedown the energy shifted and I felt a calling to go outside. The world was so beautiful. I felt in awe of trees, birds and clouds. I thought "how did I miss all this beauty my whole life". I walked around my neighborhood and felt so deeply connected to everything in my surrounding. I was not expecting this and it turned out to be some of the most profound lessons for me.

And when you go nondual - know that we are One with you in Love. 

[Forestluv]

5 minutes ago, Wisebaxter said:

Well that's that then. I won't focus on what might go wrong and create a self fulfilling prophecy. I'll nurture the excitement I'm feeling and petition the universe to give me a glimpse of the Ox

LSD can be a stern teacher. Yet, it's tough Love. LSD can also be a comical teacher and a gentle teacher. I could write pages and pages about tripping into the most beautiful places imaginable. Deep connection with music and art. Overcome by love, bliss and joy. One time tripping, I met a Siberian husky with the most beautiful ice blue eyes. Her spirit was so gentle and loving. She saw my spirit and we sat and loved each other for eternity. I've learned how deeply love can go.

I would recommend having lots of music handy. Perhaps a small speaker or headphones. I like fluid, ethereal music. I don't like anything with hard edges or aggressive while tripping.