I’ve hit a wall.

[spicy_pickles]

 Single life has been going alright for me, but I feel like I hit a wall

I really want to be alone all the time now. I don’t want to date yet, but I visualize this amazing relationship I will hope to have someday. I don’t want to go out and meet people either. 

I had a few old friends that I just don’t want to associate with anymore. They don’t really jive with me for whatever reason. 

Last night I went to a party and I did have fun, but ended up getting way too drunk for my own good, losing money out of my pocket and quite literally looked like a fool. Now I want to retreat from the world even more. 

I dont know how to explain it, but I just feel so lost, so empty, so anti social and so angry these days. 

[spicy_pickles]

I’ve got to make some big changes. On a regular basis I just waste time. I am angry and upset at things. I have trouble focusing. Im worried about what everyone else thinks of me. 

Today i will go to the library and pick up some good books to help me. I’ll also start meditating today as well. I’ll stop living in this fantasy world in my head and focus on being present and mindful. 

I’ll start working out regularly and maybe even throw in some at home yoga to help. I will reduce my social media usage and just use my phone for things that will help me (this site, self development, music, etc). 

[Mu_]

48 minutes ago, spicy_pickles said:

I’ve got to make some big changes. On a regular basis I just waste time. I am angry and upset at things. I have trouble focusing. Im worried about what everyone else thinks of me. 

Today i will go to the library and pick up some good books to help me. I’ll also start meditating today as well. I’ll stop living in this fantasy world in my head and focus on being present and mindful. 

I’ll start working out regularly and maybe even throw in some at home yoga to help. I will reduce my social media usage and just use my phone for things that will help me (this site, self development, music, etc). 

Sounds like a good move.  Also keep in mind, if this feels like to much to shift at once, just take it slower, you may have less ego backlash.

[ajasatya]

1 hour ago, spicy_pickles said:

Now I want to retreat from the world even more. 

I dont know how to explain it, but I just feel so lost, so empty, so anti social and so angry these days.

On a regular basis I just waste time. I am angry and upset at things. I have trouble focusing. Im worried about what everyone else thinks of me.

oh, the suffering. the best fuel out there!

it smells like poop under the surface. lots of inner work to do.

here's a tip: pick one thing you want to change and implement it consistently. don't be the rushing fool that gives up too early because he couldn't do everything he wanted to.

[Sahil Pandit]

@spicy_pickles Reframe your situation and think about it like a transition phase.

You're entering into a new phase of learning about who you are and what you want out of relationships.

Seek congruency and alignment with what feels right and authentic to your unique attributes. 

[Nahm]

@spicy_pickles Pickles!!!! 

9 hours ago, spicy_pickles said:

 Single life has been going alright for me, but I feel like I hit a wall

I really want to be alone all the time now. I don’t want to date yet, but I visualize this amazing relationship I will hope to have someday. I don’t want to go out and meet people either. 

I had a few old friends that I just don’t want to associate with anymore. They don’t really jive with me for whatever reason. 

Last night I went to a party and I did have fun, but ended up getting way too drunk for my own good, losing money out of my pocket and quite literally looked like a fool. Now I want to retreat from the world even more. 

I dont know how to explain it, but I just feel so lost, so empty, so anti social and so angry these days. 

Intuiting time alone will help, as hangin with the usual suspects and their habits is reinforcing conditioning, keeping you convinced you are anything but infinite perfection, and sweet (you’re not a separate thing). If the universe has to pick your pocket to show you there is still good clean fun, apparently it will. 

You are not lost, nor anti social, and don’t be angry. Awareness alone is curative. Grab a little time alone. Deep breaths. 

[d0ornokey]

i get depressed the next day if i get too wasted

you're just hungover right now, wait til sunday, you'll be back

[eleveneleven]

Sounds like you're no longer a match for your old social circle, but you haven't transitioned to a new one yet, so all the people around you no longer satisfy you socially.

That's fine. Sometimes you have to spend time alone before you go out and actively attract new friends.

It can get lonely, though, which is why you'll probably still continue to have urges to socialize, and your brain will default to telling you to socializing with those old friends until you get new ones to replace them.

Try being a bit more conscious about who you add to your life. Go to meetup groups that have to do with stuff that you're actually into, with people who want to do more than just get wicked drunk.

[Psychonaut]

23 hours ago, spicy_pickles said:

 Single life has been going alright for me, but I feel like I hit a wall

I really want to be alone all the time now. I don’t want to date yet, but I visualize this amazing relationship I will hope to have someday. I don’t want to go out and meet people either. 

I had a few old friends that I just don’t want to associate with anymore. They don’t really jive with me for whatever reason. 

Last night I went to a party and I did have fun, but ended up getting way too drunk for my own good, losing money out of my pocket and quite literally looked like a fool. Now I want to retreat from the world even more. 

I dont know how to explain it, but I just feel so lost, so empty, so anti social and so angry these days. 

#Metoo

Yesterday I went out of the house and just screamed "Fuck YOU, motherfuckers!" as loud as I could. That was really nice as nothing has happened because of it. I could have fucked the girl in my dorm again, but happily declined the offer.

[Joseph Maynor]

Write a list numbered 1-50.  Now, list all the reasons you think and feel the way you do.  Try to get as close to 50 as possible.  Take a couple of days to complete this.  Just get 50 things down, don’t be too much of a perfectionist about this.  The key is to analyze what you write at the end of the process to try to come up with a project to help you.  But before we can formulate a project, we gotta see a little bit under the hood.

Edited December 8, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[zambize]

I think it gets better, but I can only speak from my experience, it's possible that some of this anger comes from ego-backlash,especially if you've been making a lot of progress in meditation etc.  I don't know this is the case for you, but I repress some of these emotions such as anger,emptiness, feeling loss, when I think the better approach is to invite them in full strength and to just be mindful of them.  As far as friends go, I left a larger group of my childhood friends because people just go their different ways and have different values in life, you'll find new people if who you're hanging out with atm is not a match