Advice On How To Progress Further:(

[raheem]

hello,

growing up i didnt have money so ive always motivated by making it and i focus alot on it. 

i love to play football and currently looking to take it forward as my career but i dont know if leo is saying that its a bad idea to be successful in his videos.

i am still young so i want to do self actualized work and focus on school football etc. 

i use to be very sociable and very active but now i have very few if any friends and i find it very hard to socialize with people. if talking to someone i dont exactly know my hands start to get sweaty and i start to get nervous this is very usual as i use to be lets say the "clown" of the class and found it very easy to communicate with people.( i do like to be alone though ) 

i have experienced both sides of being good and being bad 

not too long ago i was involved with quite alot of negative stuff. i have now changed that around extremely quickly and now focus on school,football etc but it just doesnt feel right. i always feel like something is missing. i go through fazes of being extremely motivated to do everything then it drops for an unknown reason. its really confusing its almost like i get addicted to overcoming anything that comes in my way then i loose it and i start to slack but no one notices except my self( eg. i started doing meditation consistently then i just stopped out for reason ) . if anyone has taken the time to read this i appreciate it and i feel like anyone who could give me answers will help progress further and overcome this problem that i currently am struggling with. 

 

thank you   

 

[Eike]

Hey mate,
I don't know if I can help you, but I'll try
At first I know the feeling of getting nervous around people, particularly those I don't know for a while or those I'm attracted to. The difference is, that I wouldn't consider myself a very sociable person, so I think of it as a self-confidence problem for me. Maybe it's some sort of that for you too, since you seem to be a little uncertain in general (yet ;)). 
I do appreciate action and this seems to be the first step tho. Do you think of football as your life purpose? I'm struggeling myself a lot to find my life purpose, so I'm not sure if this helps you, but I think of it as something which pulls you toward it. So you are excited about doing it and pursuing it. 

For how long did you meditate? Did you meditate daily? In this case installing it as a habit will help a lot i think. There are a lot of great videos by Brian Johnson regarding this topic as well as some ted talks. Maybe they'll help out to set it up. Further I want you to know that "failing" is normal. In the beginning we're excited about the new project and the benefits it will bring to us, but quite soon we have to face that they don't come overnight. It's not important to not fail, actually this is impossible, but it's important to know why you failed and working on it the next time. For example i do have meditation habit as well. I'm used to meditate before I go to bed, but last week a friend of mine were drinking some beer and didn't meditate that day. So I thought about it, why I didn't or more accurate how I could fix it the next time. In this case I'll just meditate the nexte time before he arrives.

If you are interessted why you fall back into old patterns, Leo has a great video which explains it. Just watch here:

 

[raheem]

thank you so much. i was meditating for about a month daily very rarely i missed a day but then i stopped but i am going to watch the video and im going to start again. also i love football i think it could be my life purpose. it sounds kind of stupid but its like when im on the pitch playing nothing matters anymore like nothings on my mind its hard to explain but i hope you find yours;) again thank you for the help 

[Argue]

You're in procrastination mode. You're also in paralysis of over analysis mode. Get rid of these 2 limiting states of mind and take it one day at a time. Organize yourself. If you really want something bad you just do it. Make new habits for yourself and write in a journal, everyday. Empower yourself and do what's right. You know what it is you're just afraid. I know I'm blunt but I hope my words can help Raheem. Take care, Raheem. Stay awesome! 

[examinationseeker]

I can relate to you quite a bit. I also was once fairly sociable, but now I am only comfortable when I talk to certain people I know well. First, I suggest that for seven days, you should a list of 10 things you would wish to accomplish before you die. Try to constantly remind yourself that you could die at any moment and that any time in which you do not consider your own death is time wasted. This is certainly not easy (I myself have not been that successful), but eventually it will help. After a while, you will become more social by realizing that there is little risk to escaping your comfort zone. Since at any moment you could die, you should feel a motivation to change yourself. 

Another thing I suggest is whenever possible you should notice what you are doing and what your goals with a certain task are. Consider not only the local goal (For example, getting a job) but also your ultimate goal (how you are trying to relate this goal to your purpose—perhaps through mindfulness or an acceptance of reality as it is). Then, consider the costs and benefits of any activity you are doing. Realize that every action has an opportunity cost. Any time you spend on one thing could have been spent on something else. All remember this and contemplate whether what you are doing is worth your time. 

I'll give an example of the costs and benefits thing. Let's say you are thinking of giving up a meditation session midway. A cost could be a lack of personal integrity as you were unable to follow your attended meditation routine. I doubt there are  benefits of skipping a session (except in rare cases such as extreme tiredness or an important interruption), so it would be best to continue the session. Of course, this seems unnecessary, but it can be helpful habit that makes you consider the consequences of what you plan to do.

Personally, throughout the last year when I began my personal development journey, the only two improvements have been my ability to sleep more easily and my ability to be aware of my vices. The advantage you have to the majority of people who shrug personal development aside is that you are aware of your issues. That is important. It will take time, possibly a few years, but you just need to be aware of the problem.

Change is not easy. I believe this is a byproduct of evolution. As our psyches  are hardwired to survive, it tends to oppose change since what it has been doing to this point has resulted in survival. In other words, the very fact that you are alive right now gives your brain justification to not change its ways. It follows that as you progress in life, your ability to change becomes weaker and weaker as your psyche is more secure with its choices as it continues to survive. 

Be glad that you are fairly young and still have time to change.  Nevertheless, realize that you shouldn't discourage yourself too much. Be content with your progress right now while still trying to improve.

[raheem]

a very big thank you to both of you to this great advice i appreciate it.  

[Elton]

@raheem according to a enlightened person everything is a sham including any career... How to stop backsliding should definitely help you.. If you feel you lack friends and have no one to talk to this is a right place for you, you can meet like minded people here.