Why Are People Mean?

[Key Elements]

This is a clip from Ralph from Infinite Waters trying to answer this question. I find him very informative. He answers all kinds of sensitive questions in a pleasant way to show that "we don't have it as bad as we think." That's the message I'm getting from him.

At the same time, I also look at him as another startup, and I noticed that he attracts many subscribers by his pleasant style of speaking. It makes me think about how to approach my startup.

 

 

Edited April 10, 2016 by Key Elements

[Zane]

I feel like people are mean because they're operating from low consciousness or unconscious levels and they don't even realize that they're behaving this way. Maybe they're highly egotistical and are petty and they have base level values like pursuing money, status, and short-term pleasures. They are so dogmatic and entrenched in their ways that they people with different values as "weird" or "crazy." They can be highly tribal and adhere to rigid conformity! When you try to sit down with them and discuss self-actualization or personal development, they are so close minded and unaware of it that they see you as crazy for educating them. Unfortunately, when people are mean, it's extremely difficult for me to empathize with them. However, when some people are deeply struggling, I can empathize with them. When a person lashes out at me, I curl in a fetal position and lock myself in my room to absorb the pain and to avoid contact with that person. To deal with mean people, I find it difficult to apply kindness! I want to hold a mirror to them so that they can realize the effect of their actions on others. Sadly, I feel that mean people will truly struggle and fail miserably with personal development because they might deny their cruelty and neuroses. 

Edited April 12, 2016 by Zane

[nbolt]

14 minutes ago, Zane said:

I feel like people are mean because they're operating from low consciousness or unconscious levels and they don't even realize that they're behaving this way.

Basically this. They don't really see themselves as being mean, for the most part. Human self-justification is an incredibly strong force.

[Zane]

@Neill EXACTLY!!!! There is a YouTube series called "The Psycho Series" where the abusive father rationalizes his actions by saying that his son disrespected him and he blames other people for his misery and his anger. He is an embodiment of someone who is unconscious of why they are cruel. He rationalizes his cruelty as "tough love" and he blames his son for causing his family to collapse while the father's anger is what caused the family to collapse. 

[ButlerMr Gleeson]

incredible video..just freakin incredible! oh man, I learned so much and EVERYTHING seems so crystal clear now..damn

[nbolt]

35 minutes ago, ButlerMr Gleeson said:

incredible video..just freakin incredible! oh man, I learned so much and EVERYTHING seems so crystal clear now..damn

yeah this guy has some great content! subscribing 

Edited April 11, 2016 by Neill

[ButlerMr Gleeson]

oh for sure! him & leo are on fire!! I'm literally this second trying to create my own introductory video for the Actualized.org forum but keep criticizing my own videos, why do I do that  oh gosh, I will try

[nbolt]

another good one: 

"Nobody is ignorant. They're simply unaware."

This quote ties in excellently with enlightenment, which tells us that we are nothing but pure awareness.

Edited April 11, 2016 by Neill

[Gmork]

This is to much oversimplification. Sure, he get some good points but he miss a bigger picture.

[ButlerMr Gleeson]

I aim in life to be the lighthouse, to inspire and show an example of what is possible. I must work on making my own self more aware and awakened. I have had so many mid-life crisis already about what the hell I am doing in this reality and I am 19 years old,,,

If someone talked at me about this stuff when I was asleep I would have believed that they were lying to me so It is very very powerful and inspirational to be awakened and show you're true authentic self...

this video is great!!

Helps so much to understand the fundamentals and for me to stop preaching and start showing an example...peace out!

Edited April 11, 2016 by ButlerMr Gleeson

[Arielle]

Yeah Ralph! I been subscribed to him for a while! Him and Leo are my main two! My theory of why some people are mean is because they've been hurt by one or more people. such as friends, parents, or romantic partners. And so because of this they use meanness as a shield from pain.

[Nic]

2 hours ago, Arielle said:

My theory of why some people are mean is because they've been hurt by one or more people. such as friends, parents, or romantic partners. And so because of this they use meanness as a shield from pain.

Yes, they are mean because they are hurt, but the pain, if not coming from straight forward physical abuse, is due to unconscious thinking behavior, self inflicted mental punishment through wrong perspective on life, giving responsibility of their emotional state to the people and things that surround them. 

[Argue]

It's all about environment and conditioning really. Nothing won't change. Walk the streets of NYC right now and observe how people behave "mean". It's ridiculous. The real world is a cold world. 

[Arielle]

@Nic  Yes! That makes complete sense! I wonder why some people who've been hurt, well everyone been hurt, I wonder why some people don't end up having a negative mind set about life from the hurt they been through, and some people do? I also notice one of my previous co-workers been through alot of hurt in her life but came out so caring, gentle, nice, and understanding to others, where some people wouldn't be anywhere close to that. So I wonder what makes some people turn out fine, and some turn out bad when dealing with emotional pain. Yes I know perspective on life, but what makes that even. Is it personality? Is it information? is it religion? maybe a mixture of some or all of them?

[Arielle]

@Argue I don't know if that actually plays a role in meanness, bad environment and conditioning naturally makes people unhappy. And when people are unhappy, normally they don't behave nicely cause there not in a good mood. And since unhappiness is just a state of mind, that could easily be changed by changing there environment or changing there mind. as with meanness this is more to do with emotional pain and how they view and cope with life because of the pain(s) they been through.

[charlie2dogs]

Did it ever occur to you that you drew those so called mean people to yourself?  Do you have quantum memory that is drawing what you consider less than desirable behavior to yourself, do you have any idea what is stored in your quantum memory that may present difficulties for you to overcome.  Everything that takes root in your own consciousness is quantum memory that create consequences until the consciousness is cleansed.  Its all about you not the person you think is mean.

[Argue]

11 minutes ago, Arielle said:

@Argue I don't know if that actually plays a role in meanness, bad environment and conditioning naturally makes people unhappy. And when people are unhappy, normally they don't behave nicely cause there not in a good mood. And since unhappiness is just a state of mind, that could easily be changed by changing there environment or changing there mind. as with meanness this is more to do with emotional pain and how they view and cope with life because of the pain(s) they been through.

Ah, I see. Haven't looked at it that way. Thanks for the insight @Arielle Stay awesome!  

[Arielle]

@Argue  No problem!

[Nic]

2 hours ago, Arielle said:

@Nic  So I wonder what makes some people turn out fine, and some turn out bad when dealing with emotional pain. Yes I know perspective on life, but what makes that even. Is it personality? Is it information? is it religion? maybe a mixture of some or all of them?

If you exclude the fact the we don't exist and that we don't have free will and stuff, the things that make a person mean, unable to change perspective, could be the past events that the person holds in the mind for his present, the pain he feels due to the loss of a loved one, stress altogether, his education and indoctrination from society, the TV programs he watched, the games he played on PC, the lack of love received by his parents, his disability to process information, the food that he has been eating, the amount of certain bacterias overgrowths he has in the guts that influence directly on human behavior, hormonal dysfunctions, it could be also a tumor in his brain or anywhere else but they are so many factors that we can't actually answer that question. In my opinion, the first question to answer in that case would be: Is there anything good or bad in this univers or is our human mind making something up here?

I would therefor advise you to step outside the question-answering process. Identify the questions that don't need to be asked because they can't be realistically answered properly. Go straight to the fundamental questions like the one above and the fundamental quotes. Otherwise those questions, even though very philosophical and cool to discuss about, make one spin in doubt until one finds a logical answer that fits one's way to understand the world. This won't make you come 1 step closer to the truth, in fact it's the contrary, it will just feel like it and make you ask another question that cannot be answered too and so on.

This is why on forums even like this one, you might only find more mind chatter, answers to questions that don't make sens in the first place and that will not give you peace of mind, never. Basically you know faaaaaar too much already. This is one problem. But it can actually help you to recognize that you know far too much as you only look for more. For me intelligence is the contrary of being mindful. If by any chance you look for peace of mind, you need to let go of the need of answering questions, even to wanting to ask them. What needs to be done is drop the knowledge and understanding. Look at my signature, this is how I see life, I can't recommend you and anybody else enough to write those words in a place you see 50 times everyday! They made wonders for me and made me win a lot of time not to run around in my questioning wheel I have in my head. 

I hope you can see my point and I hope it helps you save a lot of time.

You have a beautiful smile. Thanks for sharing it!

Take care!

 

 

Edited April 13, 2016 by Nic

[Arielle]

@Nic  Ahhh yeah, I didn't think of it like that.  There's millions of other factors that can be why the mean mind has that perspective. So that makes complete sense! I absolutely do see your point about answering questions. I never realized that wow. This reminds me of the quote by Socrates "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing." It did save me time thank you!   And thank you for the compliment! You take care as well!