The battle between heart and the self (fear)

[KyleR]

Chat to you about it properly tomorrow yea best way imo, I’m still way down the ladder, be hitting 5meo dmt eventually tho?

[Charlotte]

@KyleR awesomesauce, I'm game ?

Shiiiiiiit... Good luck with that ? you should go to an Ayahuasca retreat in Peru 

[KyleR]

Let’s have it?get there about 6.45/7 then yea? I’m dreaming of the day Charlotte! Heard some mad stories come out of that jungle. Would you do it? 

Edited February 25, 2019 by KyleR
Thought it started at half 7?

[Charlotte]

Yeah will do. 

I know me to! 

Erm... Possibly  I'll start with the shrooms first ?

[Charlotte]

Started counseling again. 

Come out feeling way lighter. (Metaphorically)

Not much really to say about it... Just talking through what happened over Christmas and that with the dogs etc. 

Slight emotional release came. I asked her if she had super powers because the release felt differently. ?

Sat for 40 minute meditation this morning and I plan to do one in the evening and one in the morning. 

Still planning first mushroom trip. 

(Well second)

[Charlotte]

 

[Charlotte]

Man flu time ?

 

[Shin]

2 hours ago, Charlotte said:

Man flu time ?

 

Again ?

Or is it an excuse to be a mama bear and stay in your cavern ?

Edited February 28, 2019 by Shin

[Charlotte]

Definitely man flu. Head cold and weak body @Shin been resting all day ? so comfy

[DrewNows]

Hahaha! @Shin always busting people's balls!

while "flu time" sounds fun and all, don't forget, Wim Hof! Method is there for those who find themselves susceptible to having too much fun during the flu season

feel butterr! @Charlotte

 

[Shin]

Just now, DrewNows said:

Hahaha! @Shin always busting people's balls!

while "flu time" sounds fun and all, don't forget, Wim Hof! Method is there for those who find themselves susceptible to having too much fun during the flu season

feel butterr! @Charlotte

 

I knew she was kind of masculine,

But balls ...

Maaaaaan

That's hard (literally) ?

[DrewNows]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

I knew she was kind of masculine,

But balls ...

Maaaaaan

That's hard (literally) ?

lmao. Who knows...maybe Charlotte would prefer to go by "Charles" 

Totally joking @Charlotte my dudette  and Shin doesn't have a serious bone in his body...wonder how it feels being totally compromised by funny bones 

[Charlotte]

@DrewNows thank you dude ❤️

[Charlotte]

Think this bug or whatever it is, is passing now yay. 

Really struggled yesterday with PMS binge eating. Like really. I ended up eating 2 doughnuts ???

Looked into the Dr Morse tincture last night and found a decent website so I'll be purchasing some of that today. 

Yesterday I had a meeting with the head of animal care about becoming s volunteer down at the animal department of college. 

She showed me around all the animals and led me to the feeding station where they prep the animal feed. She opened the freezer and they're were around 40/50 frozen whole mice and rats and baby chicks. I felt sick. This is something I know I'm going to struggle with but I need to work with it and delve into it a bit more. Also I wasn't keen on the fact that 100's of animals were caged up in small cages with hardly no room. Fair enough I get that the students have to study but Jesus come on... These are living beings that deserve freedom and space as much as anyone/thing. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with this situation because on one hand this would MASSIVELY help towards my LP and on the other hand I feel like it goes against my morals. ?

I'd appreciate advice if anyone reads this? 

Also there's 9 weeks left of study before the big exams and I feel I need to knuckle down a bit more with it. I keep putting spiritual practices/personal development practices and fitness and nutrition before it. I need to find a better balance.

[Shin]

On 28/02/2019 at 11:44 PM, DrewNows said:

 

 

Binge eating,

Oh yeah, that is definitely not a problem at all

[Charlotte]

@Shin I know it is. Try being a woman going through these periods of hormone's all over the show and get back to me 

[Shin]

I try I try,

But the dick can't only become a vagina with a thousand dollars operation.

You wouldn't know someone with that kind of cash ?

[Charlotte]

ordered the female tincture...

Woke up completely different this morning, illness has started to shift. Felt like I had much more energy. Decided to do a massive declutter.

Cravings have completely passed. I've noticed they last 2 days, in that time I feel I could consume the world ? back to normal today. 

Let's see how that tincture does next month. 

Going to spend the evening meditating and reading some books I got off the booklist (so excited)

Also I've decided I'm going to Barcelona at the end of march for my last solo backpacking trip of the year. I was able to breakdown so many fearful concepts during the last trip I'd like to see what else I can do. 

Tea this evening:

Beetroot

Fermented spiced cabbage

Roasted Kale

Roasted red pepper

Spinach, courgette, kale and seaweed rice

Spring onions

Corn and petit pois 

?

[Charlotte]

Beautiful ❤️?️

[Charlotte]