I am about to break up with my gf

[Santiago]

She is my 1st girlfriend, I lost my virginity to her at 26 years old.

We have been together for a year now and over the course of this year I have had good moments with her, some beautiful moments but also lots of doubts and insecurity about the relationship. My attachment style is dismissive avoidant and she is anxious dependant, so it has been tough.

The thing is that I have been becoming more and more indifferent to her, to the cuddles, to writing or calling her, meeting her, etc, all symtptoms that in a normal person would mean disenchantment is taking place and that the relationship is over. But in my case I have no clue what it means, since I have always have doubts about the relationship from the beginning, maybe it's just signs of my dismissive avoidant self that is freaking out because we are already 1 year together and it seems like a lot for me.

Today we talked and cried a lot, her heart is broken and I don't know what am I doing, I am so confused, do I really want this?? I think in the things we did together and miss them but reality is that a couple days ago I didn't really care about them... It's so frustrating.

I might be making the biggest mistake of my life with this sweet girl, breaking her heart and trust or maybe I am doing a great thing by ending something that wasn't going to work anyway.

I feel really sad.

[LessonsSavesLifes]

“Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love. Her gift, if she is a good woman, is to test you with her darkest moods, over and over and over, until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge, and you are able to pervade her with your love, just as you are here to pervade the world. In response to your fearless consciousness, she will drench your world in love and light.”

 

i think you already know the answer to your question deep inside . 

[NoSelfSelf]

@LessonsSavesLifes i like your post ?

[purerogue]

No point in going all psychological explanations why it happens, you have to decide what is best for you and her, that is it.

[Santiago]

I don't know what is best for us.. it's so hard breaking up without being completely sure...

[universe]

13 hours ago, LessonsSavesLifes said:

“Your woman knows your weaknesses better than anybody. She knows where you will falter and give up. She knows the degree of mediocrity you will settle for. And, she knows your true capacity as a full man, a man of free consciousness and love. Her gift, if she is a good woman, is to test you with her darkest moods, over and over and over, until your consciousness is unperturbed by feminine challenge, and you are able to pervade her with your love, just as you are here to pervade the world. In response to your fearless consciousness, she will drench your world in love and light.”

Thanks, really needed to read this

Now we know what a good woman is but whats a good man. A man with fearless consciousness?

[ajasatya]

@Santiago no relationship will ever work if there's no sense of construction.

are you building something together? do you have plans? are you willing to face difficulties together?

difficulties can be a blessing in a relationship. they make the couple realize how they need each other in order to achieve what they have planned.

if you're dating just for pleasure and convenience, it will certainly lead to frustration and demotivation at some point. you gotta learn how to face challenges together. teamwork!