Being a male isn't enough to get a girlfriend

[Eric Tarpall]

As a male you have to look normal, act normal and own certain items in order to be percieved as attractive. You have to sacrifice your authenticity if you want a girlfriend. I'm not going to do that so I know for a fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Here's a list of things you need if you want a girlfriend:

• Smartphone. (I have one but I don't carry it with me)
• A car
• Normal clothing
• A job
• Your own apartment
• Friends
• Degrees / diplomas. (doesnt apply if you're young)
• Hobbies besides video games
• Drink alcohol
• Ex girlfriends
• Extroversion / talk a lot

[theking00]

Is it possible to be happy without having a girlfriend or wife ?

[Eric Tarpall]

56 minutes ago, theking00 said:

Is it possible to be happy without having a girlfriend or wife ?

Yes but you would have to close yourself off sexually by never masturbating.

[Spiral]

I do agree with you at being male isn’t good enough, but it shouldn’t be either. Just like the other way around.

When I meet my ex I had of the things you mentioned.

• A smartphone
• “normal clothing”
• friends(ish),
• hobbies besides gaming( anime etc),
• I did drink alcohol but she didn’t
• not introvert but not really extroverted either.
• I was renting a (super small)apartment but using borrowed money at a student discount price.
• Was studying for a degree.

Does a girl ask you about your car? I thinks that’s strange I’ve never brought it up.

Why not carry your smartphone? if nothing else you can see what time it is or call people.

 

Edited December 4, 2018 by Spiral

[Enizeo]

Perceived as attractive by whom? A agree with you that just being a male is not enough to have a girlfriend and that some of the things on your list so certainly help.
They are by no means necessary though, and depending on how much you focus on them you will attract girls that you might actually want to avoid.

Sacrificing your authenticity is certainly counterproductive if you want to attract almost any girl. They smell it. And they hate it. 

Edited December 4, 2018 by Enizeo

[outlandish]

@Eric Tarpall your list of prerequisites is completely untrue. Yes, simply being male is certainly not enough to get a girlfriend.

44 minutes ago, Enizeo said:

Sacrificing your authenticity is certainly counterproductive if you want to attract almost any girl. They smell it. And they hate it. 

That's the truth. You can literally be homeless, jobless, without a penny to your name, but 100% authentic in who you are, genuinely caring and open, and there will be a woman who will love you.

[F A B]

4 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

You have to sacrifice your authenticity if you want a girlfriend. I'm not going to do that so I know for a fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

Then your authentic self wants to sty alone.

[Eric Tarpall]

1 hour ago, Spiral said:

Does a girl ask you about your car? I thinks that’s strange I’ve never brought it up.

Why not carry your smartphone? if nothing else you can see what time it is or call people.

I've never had a girl ask about my car but I've observed that it's important to them. And I don't carry my phone because I'm paranoid that my phone eavesdrops on me and tracks my location.

1 hour ago, Enizeo said:

Perceived as attractive by whom?

Females.

25 minutes ago, outlandish said:

You can literally be homeless, jobless, without a penny to your name, but 100% authentic in who you are, genuinely caring and open, and there will be a woman who will love you.

Genuinly caring and open is not who I am authentically. I think this falls under extroversion which is on my list.

13 minutes ago, F A B said:

Then your authentic self wants to sty alone.

I don't want to be alone but I also don't want to act normal & extroverted to get a girlfriend.

[outlandish]

4 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Genuinly caring and open is not who I am authentically. I think this falls under extroversion which is on my list.

Fair enough. You're going to have some challenges then. If you don't care, and aren't willing to be open, then why would anyone want to be caring and open with you?

[Spiral]

12 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I've never had a girl ask about my car but I've observed that it's important to them. And I don't carry my phone because I'm paranoid that my phone eavesdrops on me and tracks my location.

Let's say that it eavesdrops(and tracks your location) on you and everyone else, does it matter? Are you hiding super important secrets? 

[non_nothing]

5 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

As a male you have to look normal, act normal and own certain items in order to be percieved as attractive. You have to sacrifice your authenticity if you want a girlfriend. I'm not going to do that so I know for a fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Here's a list of things you need if you want a girlfriend:

• Smartphone. (I have one but I don't carry it with me)
• A car
• Normal clothing
• A job
• Your own apartment
• Friends
• Degrees / diplomas. (doesnt apply if you're young)
• Hobbies besides video games
• Drink alcohol
• Ex girlfriends
• Extroversion / talk a lot

Call me stupid if you wish but how did your grandfathers make it till this point then?

[F A B]

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I don't want to be alone but I also don't want to act normal & extroverted to get a girlfriend.

Nice paradox

I think that if your authentic self wanted a girlfriend, then your authentic self would act in order to get a girlfriend. But it require some changes you don't want to implement, so...

... I can't help you. Probably no one can.

Anyway I wish you the best. Good luck ♥

Edited December 4, 2018 by F A B

[Eric Tarpall]

55 minutes ago, outlandish said:

If you don't care, and aren't willing to be open, then why would anyone want to be caring and open with you?

I mean I'm not caring and open towards girls who don't show interest in me. If they give me love I'll give them love.

56 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Let's say that it eavesdrops(and tracks your location) on you and everyone else, does it matter? Are you hiding super important secrets? 

I just don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing where I am and what I'm saying. I'm not hiding anything.

53 minutes ago, non_nothing said:

Call me stupid if you wish but how did your grandfathers make it till this point then?

Girls had lower standards in the past.

9 minutes ago, F A B said:

Anyway I wish you the best. Good luck ♥

Thank you

[SgtPepper]

Lol so what? you guys are ridiculous. What? you want a girl to dedicate herself to you when you have no sense of independence or any idea of who you are? How is a lady going to feel safe and secure in her relationship with you , if you are homeless, don't have clothes, and don't have basic shit down like what you're going to do in the world.

Incels and other guys look at that list like its surface level items and think girls are so surface. The reason why girls will care about that is because it speaks of your CHARACTER. Thats why it will attract a girl to have a job, a place to live, and clothes on your back. 

Having friends vs not having any friends says a lot about you. 

AND 

do you think girls don't have their own list to get a boyfriend either? 

 

Edited December 4, 2018 by SgtPepper

[outlandish]

2 minutes ago, SgtPepper said:

Lol so what? you guys are ridiculous. What? you want a girl to dedicate herself to you when you have no sense of independence or any idea of who you are? How is a lady going to feel safe and secure in her relationship with you , if you are homeless, don't have clothes, and don't have basic shit down like what you're going to do in the world.

It may surprise you, but homeless people have girlfriends too lol.

When I first hooked up with my now-wife, I was homeless. Granted, I was very secure, had an undergrad degree, but I was living in a tent, all my clothes were weird and ragged, no cell phone (well they weren't something everyone had back then anyways), no car. I wasn't living on the street, just didn't have a home and all that at the time. She was and still is a true beauty both inside and out who seemed to charm the whole world around her.

Now we have children, a nice house, all the trappings of a "successful couple". 

I know she wouldn't have trusted me if I had the impression of being a permanently lost, useless homeless man, of course! "Homeless" wasn't my identity or lot in life, it was just that at the time, I didn't have a home.

But actual homeless street people have girlfriends too. Haven't you ever noticed that?

[FredFred]

7 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

As a male you have to look normal, act normal and own certain items in order to be percieved as attractive. You have to sacrifice your authenticity if you want a girlfriend. I'm not going to do that so I know for a fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Here's a list of things you need if you want a girlfriend:

• Smartphone. (I have one but I don't carry it with me)
• A car
• Normal clothing
• A job
• Your own apartment
• Friends
• Degrees / diplomas. (doesnt apply if you're young)
• Hobbies besides video games
• Drink alcohol
• Ex girlfriends
• Extroversion / talk a lot

What is this? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years now, here's a list of the things I didn't have when I met her :

• A car
• Normal clothing
• A job
• An apartment
• Degrees
• Hobbies beside video games
• Ex-girlfriends
• Being extroverted

I'm not sure what kind of expectations you have here, but let go of those. You don't need anything special to please a girl, there's no absolute best way to make a girl fall in love with you.

[XYZ]

The greatest paradigm shift you can have is to stop viewing a girlfriend as a thing to be gotten. I don't believe in any such things as being single or coupled, they are a false duality, these are just concepts and imagination. 

[SgtPepper]

1 hour ago, outlandish said:

It may surprise you, but homeless people have girlfriends too lol.

When I first hooked up with my now-wife, I was homeless. Granted, I was very secure, had an undergrad degree, but I was living in a tent, all my clothes were weird and ragged, no cell phone (well they weren't something everyone had back then anyways), no car. I wasn't living on the street, just didn't have a home and all that at the time. She was and still is a true beauty both inside and out who seemed to charm the whole world around her.

Now we have children, a nice house, all the trappings of a "successful couple". 

I know she wouldn't have trusted me if I had the impression of being a permanently lost, useless homeless man, of course! "Homeless" wasn't my identity or lot in life, it was just that at the time, I didn't have a home.

But actual homeless street people have girlfriends too. Haven't you ever noticed that?

I was going to mention that too. I believe it!

Its more about being authentic, knowing who you are, what you want, and having the balls to make it happen. Women want men who are true to themselves.

@Shiva Got it right too. 

My original comment is more towards the guys who living in the parents basement, playing video games all day, not applying themselves, not growing themselves, and then get mad and wonder why they can't get girls. It's mind boggling from my perspective. 

Honestly, my issues with girls went away after I stopped focusing on them for validation, focused on myself, and just stopped caring whether I'd find a relationship or not. 

 

Edited December 4, 2018 by SgtPepper

[thehero]

okay this is silly... you need relationship consciousness 

[Enizeo]

@Eric Tarpall This just became a huge circle jerk. You are not looking for help, you are looking for attention.

Everything that needs to be said here has been. Deal with your victim mindset, take 100% responsibility (Leo has videos on both). Revisit the relationship topic once you've got this handled.

Don't feel judged, see the truth in my words. All the love and power you need my brother <3