I’m terrified of enlightenment

[jack k]

Is this cowardly? I know its just my ego but still.. the scariest thing I could ever imagine is that “I” and all “others” are illusions inside God or the big “I”. Of which I’ve had small glimpses of and have fallen back into distracting myself from the total annihilation

 

[Outer]

Everyone loves the flow state, that's enlightenment - permanently.

[Jack River]

The self is scared of its continuity coming to and end as its content(everything thats in its field of consciousness).

What it knows already, identifies with, even the ideas it has of attaining enlightenment. So the self(the i) isn’t actually scarred of “becoming enlightened” but is scared of the notions of change that are implied in such an idea as enlightenment.  

Identification with what is familiar is food for self. A self accumulates ideas about enlightenment and pushes its own projection of it. So the self created the image of enlightenment and pursues that image. So in actuality the self is pursuing itself. A form of self strengthening. This sustains the divison between the self/thought. 

But more subtly than resistance to become enlightened is the pursuit of enlightenment. Both very subtly imply a resistance to die psychologically to the known/knower(thought). 

Edited December 4, 2018 by Jack River

[Jack River]

 fear is actually the product of divison itself. In divison is implied this fear of becoming and not becoming. 

Edited December 4, 2018 by Jack River

[non_nothing]