I feel ''above'' people in most conversations.

[drextez]

Im 19 years old, been self actualizing for 2 years. I don't have friends in real life that are following a path of self-actualization, especially on the enlightment part.

When I have a conversation with my friends or even most people, let's say that I find their ''problems''/talking points are operating from a somewhat low shallow paradigm.

Often it makes me dissapointed. So in most conversations I feel ''above'' or more advanced that them. I also feel this type of way when talking with my girlfriend.

Did Leo or anyone else ran into this problem? How can I prevent feeling like this. I assume that I am the problem here, probably ego related. Any insight would be appreciated, thanks!

[Aquarius]

No such thing as "shallow paradigm". The solution: have some respect.

[Forestluv]

@drextez

I’ve gone through similiar dynamics. It’s seems an actualizer is continuously learning how to integrate insights into their life, including social interactions. 

From one perspective, you probably do have a higher conscious level than your peers. Yet, this can become a problem when the self “takes ownership” of it and turns it into a self concept. Then, value judgements enter and the “I Am” becomes “I am more advanced”. People pick up on this. It usually comes across as arrogannce.

IME, it boils down to discovering that my self is identifying to something it values - in this case, being more advanced. This sense of being “more than” others can provide relief to a deeper sense of being incomplete. Yet, the Real You is already whole and doesn’t need these types of identifications to become whole.

When one hears a bird singing, they don’t think “I am a birdsong”, because they don’t identify their self as the bird singing. The self doesn’t take ownership of the birdsong and think “My birdsong is more advanced than their birdsong”. Rather, there is simply the awareness of birdsongs - some are more advanced than others. 

Thoughts, ideas and concepts are like bird chirps, one doesn’t need to identify with them. In our case, there is simply awareness of problems in shallow paradigms. A self likes to personalize that non-personal awareness and think “Since I am aware of things they are not, I must be more advanced”. Yet, there is only the awareness.

[deci belle]

Nice character analysis by the above contributors to this thread…

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Often it makes me dissapointed

…is the issue.

The OP's feeling of aloneness, in terms of lack of authentic communion in established relationship is the issue, not what the value-judgement analyzers are projecting into the issue. He did mention the over-arching issue in terms of a general situational respect, as well.

Perhaps drextez is beginning to see through what may seem like a virtual phantom existence which may be infecting his once familiar relationships.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DREXTEZ— DON'T BLAME ACTUALIZATION (in terms of thinking it's a thing). You have already entered into conscious "actualization" for a few years now because your need for conscious evolution is demanding it, a priori.

drextez' issue is DISSATISFACTION. that's all. It's not a psychological defect that requires analysis or a contextual buddhistic psychological primer.

The man IS superior and advanced in a VERY small, but critical aspect of his life relative to his evolving conscious orientation and the social circle that he has, or is in the process of outgrowing. He already knows certain people in his life are not trending in the direction he is.

You might be ripe for a house-cleaning in the friends and lovers department, drextez. Not that it's something anyone can do anything about. It might be that karma is getting its ducks in a row, and you know. So the more stabilized you are in the "fiercely independent" department, the better— no need to parade the fact …better to surprise them, non? heehee!!

This is shallow:

Quote

No such thing as "shallow paradigm". The solution: have some respect.

How about some respect for the OP, Aquarius?

As for Serotoninluv's response, identity issues is what he himself seems to be projecting (in a few other posts as well, lately)~ and it's an academic response to boot, based on entry-level buddhist dialectics. Again, this kind of "help" exhibits a lack of reflection on the matter of the PERSON and his STATED issue.

It's what he said in the words he deliberately wrote. How about if we address HIS words more, and our projections less?

Arrogance, per se, isn't just a setup for a knock-down— it's also a real test of character. Where's the arrogance here, hmmmm?? I'm betting mr drextez will be well-served by a healthy dose of said "arrogance" in his next developmental phase of self-refinement. Just wait and see…

drextez wrote:

Quote

Did Leo or anyone else ran into this problem? How can I prevent feeling like this. I assume that I am the problem here, probably ego related. Any insight would be appreciated, thanks!

Is this evidence of arrogance? Ya gotta be arrogant to hang around in this crowd and keep your head above it (talkin' 'bout this thread, drextez).

Ya got snagged by a couple trolls here, my dear— the above femme of the two isn't entirely thinking of YOUR best interests, either. Is she good at what she does? At least Serotoninluv is trying to help,

Do not buy into the shallow paradigm these folks are presenting like your life depends on it. No doubt, you'll be getting more "help" such as this in the years to come, drextez. Just blow it away.

I'm guessing (by your age) that you just might be noticing the atmosphere as you enter this stage of development in preparation for an inevitable period sans friends and lovers. I don't know, but if this is the case (as I have experienced first hand), there will be no way to prevent it.

I say gather your loins and your self-respect and relish it, mon ami❤︎!!

[Manjushri]

I'm your age. Just shed your friends lol. Find new ones. Get out meet people do cold approaches until you find fitting. I had problems with feeling "above" but it's instantly nullified when you're not "above" but equal or below  so it's not really ego. It would be ego (surface level ego, of course it's always ego but i'm talking about the colloquial one) if you felt above EVERYBODY. 

also, understand that everybody is above you in something. that's really humbling.  

you just needa change your friends,like deci said.

@deci belle i really enjoy reading your advice and urge you to get to helping people on a macro scale! your words are like seeds of virtue and you can make a much much bigger impact on people's lives (both individual, micro scale and macro) by doing something other than writing forum posts, no?

[Equanimitize]

Just realize that everyone is on a different path. Everyone wasn't blessed to have the perfect concoction that led you to be self actualizing for 2 years. The road is lonely because it is difficult, but yet so worth it-get used to it and come from a place of compassion and realizing that you were at their level of development at one point too.