Why do people become heavily annoyed with me?

[Manjushri]

@Nahm The things on TV are going to be the real deal again is what you want to say? Is it not already?

[Nahm]

@Gligorije I’m not sure what you’re asking.

[Key Elements]

21 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@Nick5050  what you've said is brilliant. Thank you. Advice taken 

@Shin You've spoken to me and didn't seem to mind ?

@Mu_ Totally understand what your saying. I don't mean to be combative at all. If anything I try and deescalate situations asap. I don't like confrontation. 

Thank you @Key Elements brilliant advice

I've genuinely learnt so much from all you guys.

Already started to integrate. Thank you all.

❤️

Thanks. ? Excellent topic, btw. 

Just wanted to share more thoughts...

If you have a life purpose, you could say to the other person, "My website is all that I stand for so far; you may have a look if you want." Or, you don't even have to say anything. You could just reply, "Cool." They'll come to know you sooner or later. Looks like you only tell the authentic ppl who are interested in you. 

 

On 01/12/2018 at 0:41 PM, Aquarius said:

This is good advice.  

Thanks. 

[XYZ]

I've encountered lots of this before, and came to the conclusion that people who are mostly extroverted only get very analytical and inquisitive when they are emotionally invested in something. Therefore, they will take thorough questioning as an emotionally charged argument, and respond with their own emotional reactions, even taking it as a personal attack if their point of view is challenged.

Edited December 3, 2018 by XYZ

[Hellspeed]

Maybe you acting from impulse, rather than the big picture. 

[Krisena]

To use the opening post example: When you straight out dismiss something a person is excited about, they will feel unsafe, because they're afraid that you think less of them for bringing it up and that in ultimate consequence you will stop being their friend and leave them.

However, because they feel unsafe they will hide their hurt with anger and frustration and be annoyed with you instead of showing you that vulnerability.

Humans are more group-oriented than they are rational thinkers, and maintaining rapport with your friends is really important. Instead of explaining to them why they're wrong, you could take the position as "a cool friend who tells them the secret about how popular science works" and tell them that you appreciate them for always sharing interesting ideas with you.

Edited December 6, 2018 by Krisena

[Rilles]

On 2018-12-01 at 1:55 PM, Charlotte said:

This is recurring pattern and it's becoming awkward. 

People are literally becoming angry or frustrated with me because I question everything. 

For instance...

Them. "Hey Charlotte, have you heard the latest news?"

Me."Oh what's that?"

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

Me. "Oh right, how do you know that?"

Them."Because this article says so!"

Me. "Okay... I don't believe it until I see it."

Them angrily. "Why do you have to question everything! Why can't you just agree with what I've said!!"

Me. ?‍♀️

Or something like... 

"So and so did xyz you know!?" 

Me. "Did you see them do it?"

Them. "They did ALRIGHT!"

People are just constantly becoming angry with me. Is it because they think I'm questioning their knowledge? They are taking it personal? Like I'm attacking them? I'm not by the way.

Shall I in future just politely agree and keep the questioning to myself?

Hhhaha this is awesome! Next time play a Leo video on loudspeakers while these people are around, I suggest... ”Why Brains Do Not Exist” That oughta get the party going

[Strikr]

On 01/12/2018 at 1:55 PM, Charlotte said:

This is recurring pattern and it's becoming awkward. 

People are literally becoming angry or frustrated with me because I question everything. 

For instance...

Them. "Hey Charlotte, have you heard the latest news?"

Me."Oh what's that?"

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

Me. "Oh right, how do you know that?"

Them."Because this article says so!"

Me. "Okay... I don't believe it until I see it."

Them angrily. "Why do you have to question everything! Why can't you just agree with what I've said!!"

Me. ?‍♀️

Or something like... 

"So and so did xyz you know!?" 

Me. "Did you see them do it?"

Them. "They did ALRIGHT!"

People are just constantly becoming angry with me. Is it because they think I'm questioning their knowledge? They are taking it personal? Like I'm attacking them? I'm not by the way.

Shall I in future just politely agree and keep the questioning to myself?

yes

don't be a teacher if you can't take all the hate and the trolling.

I test my teacher constantly before I take any teaching 

without them noticing how, the student is the teacher for the teacher, if not, there is no trade for no one and it's not equal.

I know who can teach me and who can't

and when "I m teaching things, I don't take it on me, if my "students" starts yelling at me, or telling me I m an idiot. as they like it, I ignore most of the words of people if they don't make sense even to themself.

I know where I stand, and no one beside me can know where I am. It's the same for people, I can't know where they are, what they know and what they don't know, so I don't take it on me.

 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Strikr

[Strikr]

On 01/12/2018 at 2:10 PM, Salvijus said:

There's no techneque how to get algong with people. Either you're all inclusive highly conscious and compassionate or not. 

Having techneques in your pocket for every different situation won't work

""""Why do people become heavily annoyed with me?""""

This what you're basicly asking. How to be in harmony with other people.

A highly conscious being would know how to be around anybody in total harmony and impact them and direct them towards the truth without any conflict.

this, 

be a musician, or don't play like if you was one.

master your own instrument first before playing orchestra

[Elysian]

The Truth is people become heavily annoyed with you because you are annoying. It happening with many people you interact with makes this even more clear.

You're also overly skeptical, in an unhealthy way. What good comes out of questioning things like this even for yourself, not to mention everyone you interact with? If you realize there isnt truth being portrayed in the media, simply stop watching it.

If someone brings up something from the news, it's because they want to talk to you. It means they care enough about you to want to connect with you. And what are you doing when they reach out? You're slapping their hand away, trying to force your skepticism on them. Indulge them since they're not looking for a debate. Show that you care in a way they understand.

You've also been jumping through hoops avoiding responsibility for the way you affect others. When the outcome is everyone else's fault, you've completely denied yourself the chance to grow.

[Key Elements]

I found this quote useful:

[Charlotte]

All advice taken guys. Thank you. 

I've already started working on it, seeing the bigger picture etc. Upon reflection I realised I must come off annoying and I actually don't blame these people for flipping out. 

8 hours ago, Elysian said:

You've also been jumping through hoops avoiding responsibility for the way you affect others.

I have to disagree with this though if I had an inkling that I had offended somebody I would apologies and reflect back on my behaviour.

Also the fact I posted it here shows that I wanted constructive criticism on my behaviour= not avoidance. I wanted others to be honest and to give me their perspective. 

@Rilles ???

[Strikr]

you shouldn't apologies, you have to grow.

leo rape minded me, and I hated him, now I love him, that is a paradox ?

if you can't love Hitler for being a human being with his flaws and his goods ( yes he had many goods in him, just look for it. )

if this exercice is too hard, you cannot grow as a healer, you'll always be a judge.

maybe I  m just talking to myself.. 

have a good days ppl

Edited December 7, 2018 by Strikr

[Elysian]

5 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I have to disagree with this though if I had an inkling that I had offended somebody I would apologies and reflect back on my behaviour.

Also the fact I posted it here shows that I wanted constructive criticism on my behaviour= not avoidance. I wanted others to be honest and to give me their perspective. 

@Rilles ???

Avoiding responsibility was the whole tone of your first message. You realized something was wrong in your interactions and you posted here to get insight into why. Now you're avoiding your avoidance, and this will only hurt yourself.

"People are just constantly becoming angry with me. Is it because they think I'm questioning their knowledge? They are taking it personal? Like I'm attacking them? I'm not by the way."

I'm happy that you've recognized the fault in your approach. I'm sure the quality of your life and the lives of the people you interact with will improve.

Edited December 7, 2018 by Elysian
Grammar

[peanutspathtotruth]

Maybe it's not the "optimal" way that you responded to them. 
Don't think about this too much. I had (and have) very similar situations. In the past I always tried to find out what I did wrong or why they are so ignorant and how I can approach all this better.

The truth is, social interaction is the open field of this whole game. Thinking and practicing and reading etc. is preparation and work on yourself, and it is very important. But when you're out there talking to people you are exactly where you are and you get exactly the situations you need to grow.

No need to blame yourself, no need to blame other people, no need to overanalyze. Just be who you are in the moment and if you just see the situation for what it is you will always see what you need to learn. Take the pressure from yourself  Just play the game, there is no need to prove anyone wrong, but there is also no need to agree if you don't. Often it's a question of what do I (really want and need to) express, how do I express it and where is it coming from? When it is coming from love and compassion, there will be no problem anymore. That's what we all have to learn. And remember, the anger is also nothing directed towards YOU personally. It cannot hurt you.

Matt Kahn opened my eyes when it comes to social interaction, so if you don't know him yet I really encourage you to look into his videos.

<3 

Edited December 7, 2018 by peanutspathtotruth

[Charlotte]

@Elysian I understand what your saying... What is I mean is i weren't avoiding it consciously. If they had pointed it out to me and made me aware I would then reflect (as I mentioned in my previous reply)

@peanutspathtotruth  Thank you so much for replying ( I will reply to your thread you have tagged me in when I have a little more time). 

Fully understand what your saying and agree. 

Yes I love Matt khan! Will look up the video you mentioned thank you

[Elysian]

1 hour ago, Charlotte said:

@Elysian I understand what your saying... What is I mean is i weren't avoiding it consciously. If they had pointed it out to me and made me aware I would then reflect (as I mentioned in my previous reply)

I understand you now. 

[ajasatya]

@Charlotte you need to understand that the VAST majority of people are

1. highly identified with their thoughts
2. eager to start conversations out of the blue just to feel less lonely

have some compassion for they are suffering.

[Shin]

On ‎07‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 8:25 PM, ajasatya said:

@Charlotte you need to understand that the VAST majority of people are

1. highly identified with their thoughts
2. eager to start conversations out of the blue just to feel less lonely

have some compassion for they are suffering.

3. Hates self-reflecting/think deeply about stuff
 

So yeah, Don't expect most people to appreciate that you question them or what they say @Charlotte

You make them suffer so much you have no idea.

[CreamCat]

On 12/7/2018 at 4:49 PM, Key Elements said:

I found this quote useful:

How can I rephrase this in a way that accounts for life purpose?