Why do people become heavily annoyed with me?

[Charlotte]

@Shin Is offering an alternative perspective trying to change someone?

[Shin]

Just now, Charlotte said:

@Shin Is offering an alternative perspective trying to change someone?

If they didn't ask for it, yes.

[Key Elements]

@Shin No, I'm not talking about forcing someone to change. I'm especially not talking about violence. If they don't want to change at all, that's their choice. 

I'm talking about: how are you going to present yourself without speaking? If you present yourself well, it does have an impact. Heard of the saying: the pen is mightier than the sword? How about: your actions speak louder than your words? Heard of Harry Potter? Did you know that the author of Harry Potter was poor, with a child, divorced, and on welfare? Her ex lived in a different country and wanted nothing to do with her--no support. I heard that she started writing Harry Potter on napkins with a simple pen, and eventually, look what happened. She became very independent and influential through her stories. Her stories have profound lessons in them. This is probably my favourite:

Now, we have a blank life purpose. We have tons of information to transform our life purpose into something influential. It's our choice to take steps to do this or not. Did you ever speak to the author of Harry Potter? No. Yet, you know what she stands for. 

[Charlotte]

@Shin  so therefore with that logic in mind that means that's your response to @Key Elements

 was you trying to change her? 

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Charlotte said:

@Shin  so therefore with that logic in mind that means that's your response to @Key Elements

 was you trying to change her? 

No, I only quote her because of what there was in her comment, I'm not really talking to her or anyone in particular.

@Key Elements

But I only know her because I choose to read her books and movies, not because someone told me I should read them.

If she tried to force me, or subtly trying to manipulate me to read them I would most likely never did.

 

[Key Elements]

39 minutes ago, Shin said:

If she tried to force me, or subtly trying to manipulate me to read them I would most likely never did.

And, she never tried to force you. You will probably never meet her.

[Charlotte]

@Shin Do you see what I'm saying though shin? Just because you offered an alternative perspective to her comment doesn't mean you where necessary trying to change or manipulate her. You offered an opinion. Another perspective.

[pluto]

You are attracting that by "buying into it" thus you suffer from that, discard the belief system, it eventually stops happening. The mirror will never smile first. Be the change to see the change.

[Charlotte]

1 minute ago, pluto said:

You are attracting that by "buying into it" thus you suffer from that, discard the belief system, it eventually stops happening. The mirror will never smile first. Be the change to see the change.

Wow ❤️

More epistemology study is needed.

Thank you Pluto

Would you say that even questioning everything is also a belief?....

It is isn't it!! ???

[Shin]

Just now, Charlotte said:

@Shin Do you see what I'm saying though shin? Just because you offered an alternative perspective to her comment doesn't mean you where necessary trying to change or manipulate her. You offered an opinion. Another perspective.

 

We're in a self developement forum.

You automatically expect people want alternative perspectives.

In real life almost no one wants to be challenged on their perspectives.

Perspectives = What they believe they are

You challenge that in any way you're attacking them and make them suffer.

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but 99% of the people you meet, you will never be able to help them, even with the best arguments/proofs and scientific studies.

 

 

 

9 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

 

 

[Charlotte]

@Shin  Totally get what your saying and I understand. 

I take personal development into everyday life though, everywhere... Maybe I shouldn't. I do alter it though depending on who I'm talking to. 

Oh I'll learn shin ?

[Nick5050]

@Charlotte People don't like when you question everything they are saying. The best thing is just listen and be openminded. Take away the lesson from the interaction --> example how do people think about certain things. It is very hard to change their perspective and most of the time they will get frustrated and just walk away from you.

Them. "Hey Charlotte, have you heard the latest news?"

Me."Oh what's that?"

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

Me.  Oh that's nice. What do you think about it?

Them. Oh i believe it is a good discovery and it is usefull because......

*now you have a nice conversation by listening to the other person opinion*

You learned how the person thinks about things and you respect their belief or opinion. it Doesn't mean you need to agree with what they are saying. Example you learned: he believes in science. Isn't that nice to know?

Edited December 2, 2018 by Nick5050

[petar8p]

4 hours ago, Nick5050 said:

@Charlotte People don't like when you question everything they are saying. The best thing is just listen and be openminded. Take away the lesson from the interaction --> example how do people think about certain things. It is very hard to change their perspective and most of the time they will get frustrated and just walk away from you.

Them. "Hey Charlotte, have you heard the latest news?"

Me."Oh what's that?"

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

Me.  Oh that's nice. What do you think about it?

Them. Oh i believe it is a good discovery and it is usefull because......

*now you have a nice conversation by listening to the other person opinion*

You learned how the person thinks about things and you respect their belief or opinion. it Doesn't mean you need to agree with what they are saying. Example you learned: he believes in science. Isn't that nice to know?

This!

[Shin]

4 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@Shin  Totally get what your saying and I understand. 

I take personal development into everyday life though, everywhere... Maybe I shouldn't. I do alter it though depending on who I'm talking to. 

Oh I'll learn shin ?

Yeah, talking to you everyday must be hell.

Only a living god could do that.

Edited December 2, 2018 by Shin

[Mu_]

On 12/1/2018 at 7:55 AM, Charlotte said:

This is recurring pattern and it's becoming awkward. 

People are literally becoming angry or frustrated with me because I question everything. 

For instance...

Them. "Hey Charlotte, have you heard the latest news?"

Me."Oh what's that?"

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

Me. "Oh right, how do you know that?"

Them."Because this article says so!"

Me. "Okay... I don't believe it until I see it."

Them angrily. "Why do you have to question everything! Why can't you just agree with what I've said!!"

Me. ?‍♀️

Or something like... 

"So and so did xyz you know!?" 

Me. "Did you see them do it?"

Them. "They did ALRIGHT!"

People are just constantly becoming angry with me. Is it because they think I'm questioning their knowledge? They are taking it personal? Like I'm attacking them? I'm not by the way.

Shall I in future just politely agree and keep the questioning to myself?

Sounds like you are being combative.  Honestly like I was and still can be, but not outloud lol.  Think about it this way.  Yes you understand that its really hard if not impossible to nail something down as known, but if someone says for example:

"Scientists have discovered that ______ (fill in the gaps with what you wish)

You could instead say oh what lead them to this understanding, and how do these things work that they are talking about.  THis could even inspire you to look into each issue, instead of just be combative and rub people the wrong way.

[Mu_]

On 12/1/2018 at 8:33 AM, Charlotte said:

@Salvijus  let me explain a little further. 

The issue this is having is not with me but there relationship to me. 

They instantly shut down in a huff after becoming angry and walk away, or they start to huff and puff. 

Now I myself understand they probably feel like I'm questioning them, I understand that. They are probably taking it as a direct attack so to them, their reaction is valid and to others it looks valid also. 

The thing is a lot of the people around me aren't actually open to an open minded person so the friction is on their part not mine. 

What I was asking is there anything I can do to prevent any friction on their side?

@Nahm hahahahaha! Love that Nahm thank you

Sounds like you have a defensive mind set backed by spiritual knowledge.  Its on them not me, they are responsible for them, not me.  If you are also part of this picture and you notice your impact, are you okay with the impact you are having?  Just food for thought.  There is no right answer.

Edited December 2, 2018 by Mu_

[Key Elements]

8 hours ago, Charlotte said:

@Key Elements You could plant the seed still at their level? I think it comes down the deliverance of the seed?

Yup. Deliverance but shown through actions. That's why I emphasize on life purpose. If you plant a seed this way, the other person may choose to listen or not. You give them more freedom to choose. 

They could choose to listen to our "silent" noise or not, and there is always room for improvement on how we plant the seed.

In the end of the 10 Ox Herding Pics, the Cloth Bag Monk never spoke much. Yet, everyone found out what he stood for.

[Forestluv]

7 hours ago, Shin said:

Perspectives = What they believe they are

Not necessarily. Perspectives can exist in the mind free of attachment and identification.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

Not necessarily. Perspectives can exist in the mind free of attachment and identification.

To most people this isn't the case, and this is why they are annoyed (suffering) when she asks those kind of questions.

[Charlotte]

@Nick5050  what you've said is brilliant. Thank you. Advice taken 

@Shin You've spoken to me and didn't seem to mind ?

@Mu_ Totally understand what your saying. I don't mean to be combative at all. If anything I try and deescalate situations asap. I don't like confrontation. 

Thank you @Key Elements brilliant advice

I've genuinely learnt so much from all you guys.

Already started to integrate. Thank you all.

❤️