The Dark Knight Rises

[Gladius]

Focusing on myself and setting healthy habits is definitely working. 

Goals for December: Back to basics.

- Going to the gim at least 3 times a week.

- NoFap. This is something I can improve.

- Social media: Raising awareness about Twitter and Facebook use.

Recommended lecture: "Six pillars of self-esteem" by Nathaniel Branden, and that gave me many "aha" moments. 

Have a nice day.

[studentofthegame]

@Gladius i now have the book six pillars of self-esteem. It's going on my urgent reading list. I'll take a look at that lecture too.

I like back to basics goals. We all veer off course in subtle or big ways, it's about getting skilled about going back to basics and back on track, every time.

Keep it up.

[Gladius]

@studentofthegame Sorry, excuse my terrible english. By recommended "lecture" I meant "reading". 

[studentofthegame]

 Ah i see 

Is english not your first language??

[Gladius]

@studentofthegame Not at all! I just love english language since young age. In spanish "lectura" means reading, that's where my mistake comes from 

[Gladius]

This "focusing on myself" motto is working. My neediness is decreasing and I can sense that from thinking level. Same thing until last year. Next habit I want to get back is meditation, but I'll review that after Xmas.

- Hitting the gim 3 times a week or more if possible.

- NoFap and Social Media: Bringing awareness.

[Gladius]

Just read Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe Dispenza. I usually like Dispenza's approach on self-development, but in my opinion this book is life-changing. I loved the part where it explains how the brain cells work and why they tend to produce same chemicals over and over again. The theory about how thought affects the quantum field we're living also makes sense. Whether it's scientifically accurate or not, I have no clue, but it's making me really aware of each and everyone of my thoughts, and being in charge of the feelings they generate. Hope this awareness sticks with me for a long time, because it feels great.

This book is available for free online.

[Austin Actualizing]

On 12/11/2019 at 7:33 AM, Gladius said:

NoFap and Social Media: Bringing awareness.

Read your journal, you're doing awesome! By the way, porn has a worse effect than masturbation. So if you are going to relapse it's best to just masturbate without porn. Check out the website: yourbrainonporn.com. The book Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson is worth the read also! Best of luck in your journey 

[Gladius]

@Austin Actualizing Thank you so much! Yes, I'm trying to avoid specially porn. This year I relapsed just a couple times, so I'm pretty happy about it!

[Gladius]

2019 mistakes / regrets / improvement opportunities:

- Wasting time on social media.

- Not being authentic / honest to myself and others.

- Daygame.

- Money and time wasted in stupid self-help products.

 

2019 accomplishments:

- Finally faced my PTSD via therapy and book-reading and made big improvement. Big shout-out to Pete Walker, Joe Dispenza and Nathaniel Branden.

- Started a couple interesting creative projects with professional expectations..

- Had a successful date with an old crush.

- Built a powerful exercise routine.

- NoFap (No Porn and fapping once a week).

- MDMA experience.

- Started smoking and quit 4 months after 

 

 2020 goals / Wish list: 

- Paying the bills with my creativity.

- Building a strong intimate relationship (girlfriend)

- Working on financial health and money management.

- Shifting to more fun and fulfilling ways to exercise (martial arts, team sports...).

- Moving to a healthier and more comfortable hood.

- Improving assertiveness.

- Falling in love with all my clothes / Renew wardrobe.

- Eliminating every fear / block regarding women.

- Building a meditation habit. 

- Building a reading habit.

 

Merry Xmas everyone! 

Edited December 24, 2019 by Gladius

[studentofthegame]

Nice review of the year and goals for 2020. I hope to build a meditation habit next year as well. Have a cracking Christmas and new year before we roll up our sleeves for 2020

[Gladius]

The only thing I promise myself for 2020 is to take care of myself, to keep the momentum built in 2019 and to consider the goals I posted last time. Every time I feel confused, bored or anxious, I'll look at that list and take action to make those things happen.

I booked one last session with the therapist next week. We agreed I overcame the most serious symptoms that took me there last summer. I'm also taking hypericum pills in the morning, which it does help to keep my mood stable and positive.

I'm not sure if things are working out because I feel good, or I feel good because things are working out. Whatever.

Have a nice day and happy new year.

P.D. Another goal I want to keep in mind is learning to vocalize better and projecting my voice.

Edited December 30, 2019 by Gladius
Forgot

[Gladius]

Good start of the year. My energy levels are higher than ever. I'm going almost daily to the gym for the last 4 or 5 weeks. I'll keep taking care of myself, on mental, emotional and physical level. This is something I need to be reminded over and over.

- Meditation: I'm using some affirmation videos on Youtube. That will do.

- Social media: This is probably the biggest issue right now. Bringing awareness and asking myself about it.

- NoFap: Once a week. No porn.

- Procrastination: I'm gonna spend at least 20 minutes every day going over my latest project.

[studentofthegame]

Well done for maintaining a gym habit throughout december..very impressive.

What books are you currently reading?

All the best for 2020 man. Will be interesting to see your progress over the coming year

[Gladius]

@studentofthegame Thanks! A gym friend told me to just grab the bag and go, every time I'm hesitating. Even if it's for 30 minutes, because it creates an habit. It worked, and I'm always there working out at least one hour.

About the books, I have some fiction on the table (Alan Moore's "Watchmen") but I do feel like reading some personal development. I think the next one will be "The way of the superior man". How about you? 

[studentofthegame]

@Gladius great work in the gym.

I read the way of the superior man last year. I still don't quite know what to make of it. Worth a look.

I am currently working through the highly sensitive man (falkenstein), homecoming (bradshaw) and the tao of fully feeling (walker) which i know you have read

[Gladius]

- Therapy is over. Last session was already quite unnecesary, even a bit weird. I had run out of things to say. Most of my negative beliefs have been challenged and crushed these last months and it's starting to pay off. For the time being, I'm done reviewing over and over my past. It's understood. Time to move on.

- Having good vibrations lately. I have lots of energy for going to the gym, hanging out with people, and starting new projects. I'm feeling confident regarding future, and my inner dialogue has become more positive. I definitely dropped some toxic friendships and attracted healthier ones.

- The only thing is worrying me is if this is real or not. I don't want to fool myself. These hypericum pills I'm taking do have effect on my mood. I need to know if this is actually healing, or just masking symptoms. I'm gonna keep taking them until my next holidays (couple weeks). Then I will decrease the intake and see how it feels.

- I'm also reading a lot. The last book was "Rich dad, poor dad". I've been neglecting my financial health for many years, so it's a good time to catch up with that. I'm not obsessing about it but it doesn't harm to keep it in mind.

- I also read one of those PUA books which I think is bullshit, but there's a 4 week challenge I'm gonna do. I still have fear when it comes to some social situations and I want to face that.

Week 1: Affirmations exercise in the morning / smiling strangers on the street.

Have a nice day!

 

[Gladius]

Became 35 years old. Can feel how time is passing by. 

Meditation: Morning affirmations.

Social media: Got a new phone able to track usage time. Keeping it below 90 minutes per day.

NoFap: No porn for months. 

Hypericum pills: decreased intake to one per day. Feeling more grounded, less euphoric but more authentic. It definitely has a healing effect.

Social skills challenge Week 2: Being aware of my body language.

Had a dream involving actualized.org, like we were all meeting in a party or something like that. Weird.

Have a nice day!

 

[studentofthegame]

35 is still relatively young. I am 36 and a half.

How much time do you spend on morning affirmations? I have a few typed out in a notes file on my phone. I wonder whether 10 minutes would be significant.

 

Keep it up!

[Gladius]

@studentofthegame Thanks! Yeah, I don't feel old at all. I stay pretty healthy and in shape for the time being. About the affirmations, I did 5 or 10 minutes. I still didn't make it a daily habit, but I'm pretty sure it would make a difference long term.