The Dark Knight Rises

[Gladius]

I want to be extremely specific here with things that can improve my life (and therefore those around me). No bullshit.

Challenges:

- NoFap.

- Daily 10-minute meditation.

- Max 10-minute social network per day (binging).

These should be some realistic goals for this month. I'll post weekly at the very least.

See you soon.

 

[Gladius]

One week. So far so good. I have been using phone too much, although in a mindful way if that makes sense.

[Gladius]

Two weeks! 

- Didn't fap. I do feel I got lots of libido back.

- Keeping 10' meditation practice.

- Struggling a bit to avoid social network, but still managing under 10 minutes or so. Now checking a lot Actualized.org instead 

PS. These might seem like small goals, but of course there's a reason for it. Most of my life I've been chasing huge ambitious unrealistic goals to compensate my poor self-esteem. Of course that only brought more pain and frustration, since I barely achieved anything until now. That's why I want to start small here.

However, at the same time I'm planning to quit my job soon and to dedicate full time to pursue my life purpose. But that deserves another journal...

Edited December 14, 2018 by Gladius

[Gladius]

Note: When I mentioned NoFap I meant NoPorn. 

Actually last night I had to jerk off. I was so horny it was not possible to sleep, so I did it for health reasons. I also felt my body really need it...

However, I'm sticking to the challenge until NYE, then I'll renew the goals for January!

[Gladius]

Three weeks.

- Sticking with 10 minutes of daily meditation.

- No porn. Only had to fap the time I mentioned so I could sleep (poor excuse, I know).

- Social media still present, but avoiding just unconscious scrolling.

[Gladius]

4 weeks.

- Made it with 10 minutes meditation.

- I didn't watch any porn this month. Actually I feel happier, more energetic and compassionate, and I believe this is a big cause. I realised in many cultures the word "wanker" is an insult.

- Social media has reduced drastically. Not sure if it's 10 minutes, but it's getting definetely better.

I'm keeping these habits for 2019. I'll post new goals next week, after New Year's Eve.

For January I'm planning to quit my secure job and living up to my life purpose, so it's gonna be a fun year for sure.

[Gladius]

Happy new year everyone!

Goals for January:

- 10 minutes daily meditation.

- NoFap.

- No idle social media scrolling. At all.

- Quitting job and following life purpose. (BUM!)

[Gladius]

Update:

- Sticking to 10 minutes meditation and working wonders.

- No Porn watched since 6 weeks. My libido is very low lately. I guess it's a combination of cold weather, aging and uneventful times (yay...). I do feel more focused and confident though. 

- Struggling with idle social media, but it has decreased a lot since last year-

- Following life purpose as much as possible. Looking for a more fulfilling income source in order to quit my job.

[Gladius]

- Keeping daily 10 minutes meditation. I feel I'm just observing my thoughts (which are a lot) during those 10 minutes, but still I'm feeling more focused during the rest of the day. 

- Still haven't watched any porn. I fap once every two weeks and trying to make longer stretches.

- Still find myself wasting time on social media, but I'm more conscious of it.

Overall, I do feel more energetic, optimistic and productive. Since I started this journal I also have been quite regular at the gim and I had not been this fit for a long time.

Still have a lot of work to do but I'm starting to love the process!

[Gladius]

- Keeping 10 minutes of daily meditation. Will increase to 15 by next month.

- No porn in 2 months. Last night, after a 20 day streak of NoFap, I had a wet dream. To avoid it, from now on I'll fap no more than once a week.

- Still having phone addiction, but avoiding idle scrolling on social media.

[Gladius]

Challenge for February:

- 15 minutes of daily meditation.

- Same NoFap policy.

- Banning social networks from my life didn't work. I'll set a time where I won't check them: 16 - 20.

Otherwise doing good. Learning to accept my current job, and decided to work on my projects like a beast in my free time.

[Gladius]

Updating:

- Meditating 15 minutes daily. Had to watch again the video "Dark side of meditation". Many dark thoughts and emotions are bubbling up. It feels good to just experiencing them and letting them go though.

- Still NoFap. I don't feel like it though.

- Avoiding social media from 16 to 20 almost completely.

[Gladius]

- 15 minutes of daily meditation come hell or high water.

- Same NoFap policy.

- Avoiding social media from 16 to 20.

[RiseAbove]

You are doing great man, also believe there is a lot more of it in you! 

 

[Gladius]

@RiseAbove Thank you so much! I'm starting to believe!

[Gladius]

- Meditation: Some dark thoughts bubble up every now and then. I am conscious of it and I assume they are part of the game. Yesterday I grabbed a pillow and felt like beating the sh*t out of it. It feels better and better. Sticking to 15 minutes for the time being.

- NoFap still on. I'm wondering if my low libido is due to aging, stress, depression, NoFap or Trump.

- Social media browsing has indeed decreased, but I still can find myself idle scrolling. Keeping the 16-20 window until I manage it 100%.

 

[Gladius]

Note on NoFap: After almost 3 months I relapsed today. Twice. I blame it on the Family guy episode (16x01)  where there is an actual live porn star. It triggered something in me and I had to look it up. I leraned two things:

- In these 3 months I have grown a lot. It felt weird to watch porn again, as it would be something damaging.

- I need to look for intimate relationships with women. My body needs it.

I must be also experiencing some ego backlash. To be honest I already had waken up quite horny. I grabbed the phone and started talking to girls. Still, it feels good to be back!

[Gladius]

March goals: Keeping up. If this month I manage to handle perfectly these 3, I'll update on April.

- NoFap.

- 15 minutes of daily meditation.

- Banning social media 16 - 20.

[Gladius]

- Meditation: Because of one of those stupid facebook ads, I tried a free masterclass from MindValley and it turned out my skin issues improved a lot. Therefore, I enrolled in a course to try autohipnosis for a few weeks. During this time I'll allow myself to skip meditation. I don't want to invest so much daily time in introspection.

- NoFap still on.

- Social media ban working 90% of the time.

[Gladius]

- Meditation: Temporarily swapped it for the hypnosis audios I mentioned. I really feel my mindset and inner dialogue is changing. It's even scary.

- NoFap: Once a week or so.

- Sical media banning 16 - 20: Working 100% of the time!