I don't know what to do.

[ground]

If there is the urge to do something, this nagging restlessness, but you don't know what to do then the best thing to do is just sit ! 

Edited December 2, 2018 by ground

[Matteo]

@Nahm So, basically what you're suggesting is to substitute thinking with breath awareness until my mind stops?

[Nahm]

@Matteo My post was in addition to the previous ones, I wouldn’t rule anything out.

It sounds like you have tried damn near everything. After 20 years of seeking, that resonated. 

I am not saying to substitute, I am saying to actually transcend, to awaken.  We can only point for each other, what I am pointing to, you can check in your experience now.  If you want to, let me know what you find. If it feels right, we’ll continue. 

You can see? Visually, with your eyes?

 

[LessonsSavesLifes]

I wish I could give you some advice but I shouldn't be the one to do it. 

by chance have you considered taking Leo's life purpose course ? 

[Haumea2018]

On ‎11‎/‎30‎/‎2018 at 8:30 AM, Matteo said:

I thought that it may be a good idea to at least dedicate myself to some meaningful activities, with the purpose of creating a more pleasant situation within me where at least I am happy to wake up in the morning and know that it wouldn’t be another useless unfulfilling day.

I think you've got it right here.  This is key.

Without it, nothing is likely to help.  Not meditation, not psychedelics.

Those are just tools to facilitate changes in your life that make it better.

But you still have to make the changes, otherwise the insights gained from those experiences are left unintegrated.

Also, I would counsel serious patience.  This is going to take as long as it takes.

Really, when you say "meaningful experiences" to be less vague it means some kind of responsibility, a job, a career, volunteering, etc.  It's easy to maintain depression when that's missing.

JBP is right about that stuff 100%.  You have to carry the load that you're capable of carrying, not less.  Otherwise it's easy for all kinds of neuroses to sneak in.

Good luck!

 

Edited December 2, 2018 by Haumea2018

[Matteo]

@Haumea2018 I'm sorry, what is JBP?

[Matteo]

On 02/12/2018 at 7:42 PM, Nahm said:

You can see? Visually, with your eyes?

Are you asking if I'm blind? I have normal vision. Was that what you meant?

[Nahm]

@Matteo Yes. It was a starting point of sorts. 

[Haumea2018]

Jordan B. Peterson.

 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Haumea2018