What are some ways one can break out of their old repetitive psychological patterns?

[7thLetter]

Been thinking about this lately because I’ve constantly been analyzing my parent’s psychological behaviors and how their inner psychology seems to keep them stuck in the same place.

Every single year for me, my brother, my dad, and sister’s birthday, we literally go to the same exact all-you-can-eat buffet. My brother and mom almost have the same birth day so we would go there on either one of those days of that month. So with all this being said, we go to the same exact restaurant 4 times a year, and this has been happening for over 5-8 years now. So I question, why does this happen? Could it just be a psychological issue of constantly returning to one’s old behaviors?

Another interesting example is big lottery winners and somehow losing all the money that they’ve won within a couple years. It seems like their inner psychology just isn’t developed enough and used to the all the money and the new lifestyle, that it brings them back into how they lived previously.

Another example is one staying stuck in the same job for decades. Or living in the same house, or same girlfriend at 40 years old, since elementary.

I can go on with more examples, and examples of my family and these behavioral patterns, but that’ll just take awhile.

What are some ways one can break out of their old psychological patterns?

[purerogue]

By improving yourself constantly , so your perception of things around you change  all the time, my guess. 

[Toby]

I like the Enneagram because it addresses the underlying motivation. For example one could be "stuck" because one is seeking security (e.g. type 6), has problems saying no (e.g. type 9) or maybe the one criticizing it could be a type 7 because they are easily bored and want to do new things all the time. This is oversimplified of course, but it is very deep. We had a thread some weeks ago...

[Charlotte]

@7thLetter The mind absolutely LOVES certainty and the comfort zone. Also habit forming. 

They go to the same restaurant because that provides security through knowing their surroundings, knowing the staff, the food etc. If they where to go elsewhere that could literally bring them discomfort and anxiety. 

Ultimately it derives from fear. 

[denydritz]

39 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

@7thLetter The mind absolutely LOVES certainty and the comfort zone. Also habit forming.

I agree, our brain follows the pattern it already knows. Processing new information is exhausting.

Going to the same restaurant for several years in a row isn't a "bad" thing that we need to break. It can be seen as a family tradition, a place that has memories and sentimental value. Unless, your parents absolutely reject any idea of going to a new place and even violently resist, then maybe that's showing signs of some psychological habit or trauma.

About the lottery winner, that's a mindset problem. Since they got their money easily, they don't appreciate it much and spend it frivolously. A person who got a million dollars by building and selling a company would have a different mindset, even though they have the same amount of money.

Breaking out of old psychological patterns I think it's easy, when we want to do it. If we want to break out, it means we are aware we have old patterns that keep us stuck. Awareness is the first step and after that it's a matter of following new habit building techniques.

What's difficult is if we want other people to break out of their old habits.

[Sahil Pandit]

@7thLetter By questioning everything to the point where you feel like you're going crazy.

You see, the majority hardly question, which is why they do the same thing's over and over (Im not excluding myself from this, we are all a bit insane )

Deconstruct every belief and take no position for granted.

How did everything come to be so that you and your family eat at the same place? It's a deeper question than what meets the eye. 

[7thLetter]

18 hours ago, denydritz said:

About the lottery winner, that's a mindset problem. Since they got their money easily, they don't appreciate it much and spend it frivolously. A person who got a million dollars by building and selling a company would have a different mindset, even though they have the same amount of money.

@denydritz Well, what is the difference between a mindset problem and a psychological problem? For one to lose millions of dollars within' a couple of years is definitely a psychological issue. You can also word it differently and call it a mindset problem or poor money management skills.

There's also the possibility that the lottery winner can actually keep and maintain his winnings if his inner psychology was developed enough. Same with the example of a business owner selling their business for millions of dollars. There's a possibility that the business owner could go broke after selling their business if they had poor money management skills. But that's quite rare because most successful business owners usually tend to have good money management skills. And I'm pretty sure money management and money psychology are closely related, or pretty much the same thing. Leo has a pretty good video on money psychology and he goes pretty in depth on the topic so I recommend you watch it if you haven't.

@Sahil Pandit I have no idea. We went there on new years eve one year, we enjoyed it, now my parents keep suggesting it, and my siblings agree. They all keep coming to an agreement to eat there, I'm usually the one who doesn't really mind I just want to eat. But now my birthday is coming up and I think I just might suggest something else. They really need to try something new.

By the way, nice profile pic, where did you get the idea for that? lol

 

 

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@7thLetter ???

we are starting our own cult 

[7thLetter]

@Sahil Pandit next thing you know everyone's got a question mark in their dp

Lol but for real though, mine is significant to because it's an album cover of a popular rapper who passed recently, and who is one of my favorite artists at the moment. But he wasn't just any rapper he seemed like an intellectual. Little bit of a spiritual ego but that makes him so interesting.

[purerogue]

You get used to things you do often , if setting is right for you , also you feel more safe , relaxed and it is  place you know well.

 

 

Edited November 30, 2018 by purerogue

[thehero]

Listening to so much of Leo that you're forced to self reflect and become aware of things. When you start becoming aware of things you start seeing problems.

The problem is that you literally ARE NOT AWARE. that's why you are stuck in the habits. Awareness alone is curative. 

It's all stuck on loops and your awareness is low. Which is why it's called low consciousness i guess? You are not aware with a lack of consciousness. 

The mind does NOT LIKE to be aware. It hurts you PHYSICALLY. Literally physically. Because emotions are physical phenomena (bodily sensations to be exact). You feel pain when you become more aware 

Your environment is also low conscious! It's all this massive low conscious things. The content you consume, the marketing, society and the people around you are all feeding you low consciousness shit. The human being molds to its environment. 

The #1 way to change is to have high consciousness around you. Content and people. Surround yourself with that, and you will mold to higher consciousness. 

Practice mindfulness and become aware of your habits. Without mindfulness or awareness you will be stuck in your loops. 

Awareness , awareness, awareness! It must be applied everywhere ! 

The first step to change is to become aware of it - Nathaniel Branden

It's just that awareness is PAINFUL and takes effort! But it's worth it 1000x. Your life gets better the more conscious you become. 

Easiest things you can do is cut out all low consciousness content as much as possible and develop a meditation habit. Also realize these things im saying for yourself so you learn the significance of awareness which will push you to desire awareness. Learning = behavior change, awareness alone is curative. 

If you want to change them, see if they resonate with the material. Find their stage on SD or wherever they are in life and just guide them to whatever next insight is important to them. Only if they're receptive. Otherwise they're not really going to change lol. 

Edited November 30, 2018 by thehero

[7thLetter]

@thehero Why does it seem like what you're saying in your post is directed towards me as if you knew exactly who I am?

22 hours ago, thehero said:

If you want to change them, see if they resonate with the material. Find their stage on SD or wherever they are in life and just guide them to whatever next insight is important to them. Only if they're receptive. Otherwise they're not really going to change lol. 

Not looking to change anyone but myself. Already learned the hard way, trying to change the people around me in the past with no success. These days I just let people be. I was just interested in what people have to say about this topic.

[Joseph Maynor]

Jump up a level in Spiral Dynamics.