The (Complete) Surrender Experiment ❤️

[Solace]

I want to have this space to write down things about the complete surrender of everything I know about life and myself to this present moment, the oneness and bliss that flows like a river through my heart.

This isn’t a rational choice for a deep voice within calls me everyday to let go of all limitations, and remain steadfast in the seat of my soul even if fears arise.

And all of the time, I will take take each step gently, softly and with kindness. 

Beyond all barriers, dimensions, time, space, forms, thoughts, this world as I see it, beyond the “I” for no reason whatsoever!

Edited November 28, 2018 by Solace

[non_nothing]

16 hours ago, Solace said:

This is like telling the dog after long hours of chasing the tail, you're the tail and the dog

 

[Solace]

I have started the beginning, ground stages of this surrender for around the past week, it has flowed very harmoniously. I have realized that I am free as pure awareness to project myself anywhere, and I don’t need my mind to convince “me” to be in that state. For many months I had been trying to get to the ultimate intellectual conclusion that once and for all made my mind want to dissolve itself. But I learnt that using the mind to make the mind silent was completely ineffective. Instead, I now know experientially that I only need to move my awareness back to my breathe instead of fighting against my thoughts with thoughts.

This has lead me to here. A place where being in my breathe to discover the deeper layers of myself may not be my minds or emotions cup of tea (in fact there is a constant subtle resistance) yet the awareness that I am remains completely uneffected by anything external or seperate or dual and so, jumps at this opportunity (or at least some inner part of me; I don’t think awareness jumps, it just is). 

So there is this magnetic pull back into ego, and it is strong at rare occasions, but mostly gentle. That is all it is. Energy pulling at my awareness, not at all who I am as the awareness. And as I keep proving to myself that I can transcend the ego by remaining in the breathe, it gets much easier overtime. I do believe the easiness reduces greatly at the start as I’m experiencing right now, but like a square root shaped gradient on a graph, it will level out over time I presume. Life has to give some sort of a challenge of course, that’s what makes surrendering meaningful. It is a deep and beautiful experience. Very touching and moving. It’s like putting the emotional and mental body on coffee, because surrender allows emotions and thoughts to heal at a faster rate as described by Matt Kahn on many occasions. 

My step now is continuing to be in the breathe more. Right now it is about half an hour a day. That will change very fast for two reasons: I know am one hundred percent committed to my spiritual technique, and I see just how free I am to do it. 

Also I am getting my teacher to make me a guided meditation that I can use everyday, and eating a pure sattvic and balanced diet. I am so very far from my ultimate goal, and after watching the ox herding pictures I understand I have a quantum leap to jump. But I am different than most people, I will never stop until I know the Truth, I will never stop abiding in my breathe in my chest. This part of my mind writing this as well will be transcended entirely. 

Again bringing Matt Kahn in, all of life is helping us to live in our hearts as unconditionally as God loves us. When anger is triggered it’s another opportunity to grow to new spiritual heights by staying in my breathe. When the thought arises telling me, “You should be doing something else. Why focus on the breathe when you can go make your family happy by creating a nicer looking ego, with a nicer looking plan for the future”, i just go straight back to the breathe, it is the most harmonious that way.

Genuinely I intend to stay in my breathe for 100% of the day. I will write when I have achieved this consistently. The biggest barriers (even though there is none when outside the ego) is only the thinking mind which tells me all of the reasons not to be in the heart. It’s not powerful at all compared to my intention. I learnt this today from the higher self, that only a fraction of power is given to the thinking mind, but we retain the overwhelming majority in each moment. With each letting go of a thought a more fundamental and “important” one will arise. Some of which really surprised me. Will I stay centered or seek refuge in the mind? That is the only question. I intend for the former with all my heart and soul, will and creative freedom and power as the Higher Self I am.

And so it is.

[Solace]

I had my channeling session a few days ago. I was told especially how everything is absolutely perfect, and that everything reminds me that I am God. The meditation I have used 7 times since, and I can now feel the hearts love in all moments. This love is truly Unconditonal, and I’ve seen that even in the worst condition emotionally I can in just a dedicated short meditation I can come back to peace or near peace. The love and consciousness is always there, but our minds are usually too noisy and the nervous system too active to notice our perfection.

Doubts are dissolved. Fears vanish. Confusion and uncertainty transform into clarity. And then sometimes they come back out of sheer subconscious habit to be healed by peace and bliss again and again until the entire mind becomes a reflection of purity and love.

All there is in this moment is God. Everything is God, everything is blissful, everything is the light. It is all here to be embraced with our full consciousness. With heart felt sincerity. You have to be like a child again, or as a humble old man. As parts of me dissolve it helps to be humble, so that I can just walk away from them into a better reality. I don’t want to be recognized for my spiritual heights, or honoured as someone special. I want to be the humble old man who witnesses all things, and the child who dosen’t have a past, or a future.

There are so many questions I found myself saying yesterday. And how do they all be answered so effortlessly in meditation? Love includes the whole universe, it includes and is the origin of everything. It is under appreciated in this way. People say how can Love solve all your problems? This is why. Love is the source of the all form, that known, all is known on some kind of level.

Lastly I found that the greatest progress came from doing the practices. I mean putting down all of the books, and remaining as meditative awareness. I learnt much more than creating intellectual hypotheses which I did in spades as I tried to convince my mind to change its entire structure. Again this would create great amounts of ego backlash from the mind of it weren’t for divine love. Since Love is what the mind is looking for, it silences and submits with the least amount of backlash or suffering, this is the power of the heart. We start at the heart, until the heart becomes the effortless energetic center we live from.

All of the videos on channelhigherself.com explain this in depth. These videos from this website have helped my mind have a solid understanding of this process, and faith and trust in the unknown.

The journey continues then with a new  experience of love that I can perceive. It is still challenging but these instances of come fewer and farther between. What lies ahead? I too am excited to see, because life always has its surprises in the form of emotionally triggering us. I accept and take responsibility for every emotion or thought that arises as my own creation, and life is only bringing out these seemingly external thoughts and emotions from the subconscious so I can heal in the most inspiring and effective ways.